人人說(shuō)英語(yǔ)(高級(jí)口語(yǔ))2 Uni5-8

[00:00.00]Unit 5 Home and Family [00:13.87]Waiting(E) [00:16.43]Mr.and Mrs.Clark decided to separate [00:21.16]Before being allowed to do so legally [00:25.21]the Family Court insisted they undergo some counseling [00:29.96]from the marriage counselor [00:33.12]to see if their union could be saved [00:37.28]The counselor did her hest,but it didn't work. [00:41.72]Mr.and Mrs.Clark made up their minds to go through with the separation [00:47.28]leading to divorce [00:50.52]Finally,the counselor said,"But you're 95 and your wife is 93. [00:57.78]You've been married for 72 years!Why do you want to separate now?" [01:03.74]Mr.Clark replied: [01:06.80]"We haven't been able to stand each other for the last 46 years. [01:11.94]But we thought we should wait until all the children died before we split up." [01:17.22]Thanksgiving(M) [01:19.86]Mr.Hunter calls his son in Boston. [01:24.22]The old man says,"Son,I hate to bring you the bad news... [01:31.45]but your mother and I,we are getting a divorce [01:36.29]The son is surprised,"What?You can't!" [01:41.93]Mr.Hunter says,"I'm sorry,son!Forty-five years of misery is enough! [01:50.18]Now,I am sick of talking about it, [01:54.13]call your sister and tell her!"And he hangs up. [01:59.48]The son,nearly in tears,calls his sister in New York,"Sis,"he says, [02:07.24]"you're not going to believe this!Mom and dad are getting a...a...divorce!" [02:14.50]"What?!"she shouts on the phone [02:18.66]"Oh,no.They aren't!You stay put.I'll call you right back!"And she hangs up. [02:28.09]The sister calls the parents in Los Angels,"You two are not getting a divorce" [02:35.66]Mr.Hunter says,"Honey,listen..." [02:40.03]The daughter says,"No,you listen!You are not getting a divorce! [02:46.19]You know what?You don't do anything!I'm calling brother back. [02:51.86]We'll be there tomorrow!Don't do anything."And she hangs up. [02:57.50]Mr.Hunter hangs uup calmly,looks at Mrs.Hunter,and says, [03:02.96]"Well, they are coming for Thanksgiving and are paying their own fares. [03:08.71]What shall we tell them on Christmas?" [03:12.24]Angry Wife(D) [03:15.29]Jim and Frank are having fun in a party one night [03:20.96]when jim looks at Frank and says, [03:25.51]"I have to get home,or my wife is going to kill me." [03:31.07]Frank says,"What?Are you kidding me?My wife lets me do whatever I want." [03:39.90]Jim says,"I know,I know,"embarrassed that his wife controls him [03:48.26]He continues,"I try to sneak past her every time [03:54.50]I drive really slowly down the street [03:59.78]and turn the headlights off 100 yards short my driveway [04:06.33]Fifty feet shortI turn off the engine so that I can coast in. [04:14.20]I shut the car door gently,open the front door to the house quietly [04:21.56]take off my boots so I can go up the stairs in my socks [04:28.33]and sneak through the bedroom door and he sat up all night watching me." [04:32.59]But as soon as I hit the bed ,she is up screaming at me." [04:38.47]Frank laughs and replies,"There is your problem. [04:45.02]Let me tell you what I do.Every time I go home late at night, [04:51.87]I drive fast down my street, [04:56.44]bump into the garage door and slam the car door shut. [05:02.89]Then I kick open the front door,stomp up the stairs, [05:08.95]swing the bedroom door open,and jump up on the bed. [05:14.59]Then I shout to my wife,'Hey,honey,where's my dinner?' [05:20.34]She's sleeping every time I say it." [05:25.02]Unit 6 Jobs and Occupations [05:40.17]A Job Interview(E) [05:43.64]Reaching the end fo a job interview [05:48.50]the interviewer asked a young accountant fresh out of college [05:54.66]"And what starting salary were you looking for?" [06:00.02]The accountant said,"About $100,000 a year,depending on the benefits package." [06:09.58]The interviewer said,"Well,what would you say to a package of 5 weeks'vacation [06:17.44]14 paid holidays,full health insurance a retirment fund for 50% of your salary [06:27.29]and a company car leased every 2 years?" [06:32.33]The accountant sat up straight and said,"Wow!Are you kidding?" [06:39.18]And the interviewer replied,"Yeah,but you started it." [06:45.84]Test (M) [06:48.58]Fred and Eric were computer programmers, [06:54.43]and they applied for a single position at a computer company [07:01.09]They both had the same qualifications [07:06.97]In order to determine which individual to hire, [07:12.72]the manager asked them to take a test. [07:17.89]Upon completion of the test,both men missed only one of the questions [07:26.96]The manager went to Fred and said,"Thank you for your interest [07:33.62]but we've decided to give the job to the other applicant." [07:39.78]"And why would you do that?We both got nine questions correct,"asked Fred. [07:47.96]"We have based our decision not on the correct answers [07:54.72]but on the question you missed,"said the manager. [08:00.29]"And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"asked Frank. [08:09.14]"Simple,"said the manager. [08:13.51]"Your fellow applicant put down on question #5,'I don't know.' [08:20.87]You put down,'Neither do I." [08:25.91]Competing for a Job(M) [08:29.28]A telephone company puts a want ad in the newspaper in order to recruit workers [08:36.36]The next day,two groups of workers show up [08:41.22]a crew of five men and a crew of five women [08:46.08]The company cannot decide whom to give the job to, [08:51.04]so they give the two groups a test [08:54.70]The company boss says, [08:58.75]"Each crew will receive a telephone pole that must be installed into the ground [09:05.10]Whoever is able to get it done first will get the job." [09:09.96]Both groups agree this is a fair test, [09:14.40]so off they go in the company trucks [09:18.65]with the long telephone poles sticking out the back [09:23.33]At 5:00,the female crew returns. [09:27.77]"Yes!"they shout."We came back first,so we get the job!!" [09:33.62]"Good work,ladies,"says the boss. [09:37.38]"However,we must wait until the other crew comes back [09:42.74]to make sure the reason they're delayed is not because of traffic [09:47.60]or the truck breaking down"Fine,no problem,"say the ladies. [09:53.55]Finally,at 8:30,the male crew arrives. [09:58.52]They are flushed and breating hard,as if they had just gone through hard labor. [10:04.40]"What happened to you?What took you so long?"asks the boss. [10:10.56]"What do you mean,'what took you so long'?Do we get the job?" [10:15.52]"You get the job?No way!The ladies were back here hours ago!" [10:21.79]"Well,of course they were,"say the men."They only put the pole in halfway!" [10:27.96]Unit 7 People [10:41.23]Larry and Two Cows(M) [10:45.07]Larry had two cows,but he could never remember which was which [10:52.23]He called Mary on the phone,and she suggested cut off the tip of one cow's tail [11:02.07]which worked great until the other cow got his tail caught in a bush [11:10.22]The second cow's tail tore in the same place [11:16.10]and looked exactly like the other cow's tail [11:21.35]Larry was stuck again [11:25.11]Mary then suggested he notch the ear of one cow [11:30.68]which workled fine until the other cow caught his ear on a barbed wire fence [11:37.81]Once again.Larry couldn't tell the two cows apart [11:44.26]Larry got Mary on the phone again,and she then measure the cows for height [11:54.42]When he did that, [11:58.68]Larry was very pleased to find the fat cow two inches taller than the lean one. [12:07.54]Wade and 168 Duckings (M) [12:13.39]Wade was riding a bike in the countryside [12:17.62]and he stopped to let a flock of little ducklings pass [12:22.16]Admiring the cute little fluffy birds,he said to the farmer, [12:27.31]"If I can guess how many ducklings you have,can I take one?" [12:32.88]The farmer said,"Sure!" [12:36.53]Wade thought for a moment and said,"168." [12:42.59]This being the correct number the farmer was,understandably,totally amazed [12:50.14]and said,"You're right!O.K.I'll keep my promise [12:56.20]Take your pick of my flock [12:59.47]Wadecarefully considered the entire flock [13:04.12]and finally picked the one that was by far cuter [13:08.58]and more playful than any of the others [13:12.63]When he was done,the farmer turned to him and said, [13:17.20]"O.K.now I have a proposition for you. [13:22.46]If I can guess your IQ,can I have my chick back?" [13:28.31]Unit 8 Services [13:41.86]Why Do You Keep Calling?(E) [13:45.10]David calls his doctor's office and says, [13:50.07]"This is David Thomas,and I'd like to speak to my doctor." [13:55.13]the receptionist replies,"I'm sorry,but Dr.Walpole died last week." [14:01.30]The next day he phones again and asks the same question. [14:06.45]The receptionest replies"I told you yesterday-he died last week." [14:13.21]The next day David calls again and asks to speak to Dr.Walpole. [14:19.66]But this time the receptionist is getting a little annoyed and says, [14:25.02]"I keep telling you that your doctor died last week.Why do you keep calling?" [14:31.78]David says,"Because I just love hearing it." [14:36.64]I Only Want $100(E) [14:40.80]Sammy prayed every night for two weeks,asking God for $100. [14:48.97]When he got no responde [14:52.73]he thought it would be a good idea to write to God and see if that worked [14:59.58]The post office received the letter addressed to"God,Los Angeles" [15:06.45]They decided that it would be best to just forward the letter to the mayor [15:12.61]The mayor read the letter and thought it was cute, [15:17.16]so he asked his secretary to send the boy $10, [15:22.51]thinking the boy would think that was a lot of money for a little boy. [15:29.07]When Sammy got the money, [15:32.55]he was so excited that he sat down immediately to write a thank-you letter [15:39.31]"Dear God,"he wrote,"Thank you very much for the money you sent. [15:45.87]I guess it is to be expected,but I thought you should know this: [15:52.53]When you sent it through City Hall,the government deducted $90." [15:59.48]Sharing a Hotel Room(M) [16:03.55]By the time Bill arrived in a little town,every hotel room had been taken. [16:10.63]"You've got give me a room somewhere,"he said to the manager at the hotel, [16:16.56]"or just a bed--I don't care where." [16:20.69]"Well,I do have a double room with one guest,"admitted the manager, [16:27.56]"and he might be glad to split the cost [16:31.61]But to tell you the truth,he snores so loudly [16:36.68]that people in the next room have complained lately [16:41.04]I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you." [16:44.70]"No problem,"Bill assured him."I'll take it." [16:49.66]The next moring Bill came down to breakfast bright-eyed [16:54.62]"How did you sleep?"asked the manager. [16:58.78]"Never better." [17:01.65]The manager was impressed."No peoblem with the other guy snoring,then?" [17:08.21]"No,I shut him up in no time,"said Bill. [17:12.86]"How did you manage that?"asked the manager. [17:17.01]"Did you give him some medicine to stop the snoring?" [17:21.16]"No,I didn't.But here is what I did. [17:25.92]He was already in bed when I went into the room,"Bill explained. [17:31.06]"I went over,gave him a kiss on the forehead,and said,'Goodnight,beautiful,' [17:37.62]and he sat up all night watching me."

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