英語(yǔ)流行話題閱讀:語(yǔ)境識(shí)詞4500 67 Some Kids Are Orchids
Unit 67
Some Kids Are Orchids
Most of us think we know the kind of kid who becomes a killer, and most of the time we are right. Boys commit about 85% of all youth homicides, and in those cases about 90% conform to a pattern in which the line from bad parenting and bad environment is usually clear. Through my work, I see these boys in the courtroom and in prison with depressing regularity. Their lives start with abuse, neglect and emotional deprivation at home. Add the effects of racism, poverty, and the drug and gang cultures, and it is not surprising that in a violent society like ours, damaged children become deadly teens.
But what about the other 10% of kids who kill: the boys who have loving parents and are not poor? What about smart privileged boys like Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris who killed over a dozen schoolmates in Columbine School? Are their parents to blame when these kids become killers? I have learned as a researcher in youth homicide cases that the answer is usually no.
Most children are like dandelions; they thrive if given half a chance. Some are more like orchids. They do fine while young enough to be nurtured by loving parents, but wilt as adolescents subjected to peer competition, bullying and rejection, particularly in big high schools. Research shows that while most fragile children do fine in early childhood, 50% have significant adjustment problems once they enter adolescence. Then children respond to the influence of peers and the larger culture in the neighborhood and the nation. The US youth homicide rate is about 10 times higher than in Canada.
The "normal" culture of adolescence today contains elements that are so nasty that it becomes hard for parents and teachers to distinguish what in a teenager's talk, dress and taste in music, films and video games indicate psychological trouble and what is simply a sign of the times. Most kids who adopt the Mafia lifestyle, or have multiple body piercings, or listen to savage music, or play the video game Doom are normal kids caught in a toxic culture.
Intelligent kids with good social skills can be quite skillful at hiding who they really are from their parents. They may do this to avoid punishment, to escape being identified as "crazy", or to protect the parents they love from being disappointed or worried. Klebold successfully hid his inner turmoil from his loving parents. Anyway, how many parents are capable of thinking the worst of their son -- for example, that he has murderous fantasies, or that he could go so far as to acting them out? Even if parents know their child as an individual, they may not understand what he is capable of when in company of another boy. Though it appears from public accounts that Harris was more prone t violence than Klebold, neither kid was likely to go on this killing rampage alone.
I think many of us are too ready to blame good parents for how their children cope with a violent and coarse society. Even loving, attentive parents can lose children who are temperamentally vulnerable -- if they develop a secret life, get caught up in the dark side of the culture and form dangerous peer alliances. And that's the scary part for any parent to acknowledge.
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