朋友間的“友好分手”

古語(yǔ)說(shuō)的好，天下事，分久必合，合久必分。我們身邊的朋友有些會(huì)是一輩子的交情，有些可能會(huì)因?yàn)閮r(jià)值觀的變化而慢慢疏離。在決定跟某個(gè)朋友分道揚(yáng)鑣的時(shí)候，有些人直截了當(dāng)說(shuō)明不想做朋友，有些比較含蓄的人可能就要通過(guò)慢慢疏遠(yuǎn)的方式。

Friendly fade is a passive-aggressive method to 'break up' with a friend without being hurtful. This method is NOT an abrupt process and can apply to just about anyone. Care should be taken when choosing this strategy:

Friendly fade是用消極被動(dòng)但意圖明顯的方式來(lái)與朋友斷交的一種方式，這樣不至于太傷人。我們可以稱之為“友好分手”。這種斷交的方式是一個(gè)緩慢的過(guò)程，所有人都適用。使用這種策略時(shí)要注意幾點(diǎn)：

-Take longer and longer intervals to return phone calls, text messages, etc.. and avoid making commitments. For ex: take a week to return a voicemail or a few days for a text. As the weeks go by, the lag between all communications gradually increases.

回電話和短信的間隔時(shí)間逐漸拉長(zhǎng)，同時(shí)不要許諾何時(shí)回電話。比如：一個(gè)星期以后才回復(fù)語(yǔ)音留言，隔好幾天才回短信。隨著一周周的時(shí)間過(guò)去，你們的交流間隔時(shí)間也不斷拉長(zhǎng)。

-Never answer the phone if you see that person's number on your caller ID. Wait at least a week to return the message (unless it's an emergency), preferably via text.

有來(lái)電顯示的話，看到對(duì)方來(lái)電一定不要接。要等至少一個(gè)星期才回(緊急情況除外)，而且最好發(fā)短信。

-Avoid face-to-face meetings (like coffee or lunch) and make excuses to skip activities you both enjoyed previously (like going to the movies).

避免面對(duì)面交流(比如一起喝咖啡，吃午飯等)，找各種借口不參加過(guò)去你們?cè)?jīng)一起都喜歡的活動(dòng)(比如看電影)。

The goal is to gently un-friend that person at a kind and gingerly pace. It can be a very effective method for those averse to conflict or part of tightly knit groups. Over time, your feelings may change, and you may want to rekindle the friendship. With this method, you haven't burned all your bridges.

這樣做的目的是用一種友好的，審慎的方式慢慢與對(duì)方解除朋友關(guān)系。這種方法對(duì)于那些不喜歡跟人起沖突或者想從某個(gè)聯(lián)系緊密的團(tuán)體中脫離的人會(huì)很有效。假以時(shí)日，你們之間的感情會(huì)發(fā)生變化。如果你想要重新拾起這份友情，也還有回旋的余地。

我們來(lái)看個(gè)例子：

After years of being told by her best friend that she needed to lose weight, Lizzie decided to do the friendly fade. She started by avoiding her phone calls, not replying right away to her texts, and making her invisible on her Facebook timeline.

連續(xù)好幾年被最好的朋友提醒要減肥，利茲終于決定要跟她友好斷交了。她先是不接電話，短信也不會(huì)立馬回復(fù)，她的臉書更新也對(duì)這位朋友設(shè)成了不可見(jiàn)。