如何應(yīng)對(duì)職場(chǎng)暴力

In elementary school, the class bully left you with empty pockets. In the corporate world, the bully can cause even more damage -- ranging from severe emotional distress and sluggish work to stalled career progress. What's worse: Despite hoards of office initiatives and formal legislation, bullying is still creeping its way into the workplace.

在小學(xué)，“小霸王”讓你身無(wú)分文。在公司，“霸王”們會(huì)引起更大的危害——從嚴(yán)重壓抑、效率低下到事業(yè)停滯。而更糟糕的是，成堆的辦公室條例和法規(guī)都無(wú)法阻止欺負(fù)行為在職場(chǎng)的蔓生。

Nancy Shenker, founder and principal of theONswitch, a marketing company specializing in start-ups, said she was once the victim of a bullying boss who loved to publicly berate her.

theONswitch公司專(zhuān)門(mén)為起步公司提供市場(chǎng)營(yíng)銷(xiāo)，該公司創(chuàng)辦人、主席Nancy Shenker說(shuō)她也曾是職場(chǎng)暴力的受害者，過(guò)去的老板總喜歡公然嚴(yán)厲指責(zé)她。

"I finally scheduled a private meeting with him and told him quite simply that his behavior was affecting my work performance, that I felt demoralized and embarrassed," she said. "I went so far as to tell him that if I really was so incompetent, we should call human resources into the meeting to work out a severance package or start writing me up," she said.

她說(shuō)：“我和他私聊了一次，很簡(jiǎn)單地告訴他，他的行為影響了我的工作表現(xiàn)，我感到挫敗和困窘。我甚至說(shuō)，如果我真那么無(wú)能，那我們應(yīng)該讓人力資源參與我們的討論，做個(gè)離職計(jì)劃或給我記一過(guò)。”

Her boss admitted he had no intention of firing her, and their relationship improved. According to the Workplace Bullying Institute's Web site, bullying is more prevalent in today's workplaces than sexual harassment and racial discrimination. Approximately one-in-six US workers have directly experienced destructive bullying in the last year.

她的老板承認(rèn)他無(wú)意解雇她，兩人關(guān)系得到改善。”職場(chǎng)暴力研究組織“網(wǎng)站說(shuō)，欺負(fù)行為在當(dāng)今的職場(chǎng)要比性騷擾和種族歧視更為普遍。近六分之一的美國(guó)勞動(dòng)者去年直接經(jīng)歷了具有破壞性的欺負(fù)行為。

Women are most often on the receiving end of the workplace abuse, according to the Workplace Bullying Institute. Although 58 percent of bullies are women, they make up 80 percent of targets. "Targethood hinges on two characteristics: a desire to cooperate and a nonconfrontive interpersonal style," the organization's Web site states.

該組織說(shuō)，女性最容易遭受職場(chǎng)虐待。58%的欺負(fù)者是女性，而被欺負(fù)的女性卻占到了80%。該組織網(wǎng)站稱(chēng)，這兩種人易受攻擊：渴望配合的人和不得罪人的老好人。

Standing up to the bully may not be as difficult as it seems, said Kerry Patterson, co-author of the bestselling books "Crucial Conversations" and "Crucial Confrontations." "If you know what to say and how to say it, you can speak up and keep the risk of retaliation to a minimum," he said.

《至關(guān)重要的對(duì)話(huà)》及《至關(guān)重要的對(duì)峙》兩本書(shū)的作者說(shuō)，對(duì)欺負(fù)者說(shuō)“不”也許并沒(méi)有看上去那么困難。他說(shuō)：”如果你知道說(shuō)什么、如何說(shuō)，你就能為自己討回公道，并將被報(bào)復(fù)的風(fēng)險(xiǎn)降至最低“。

Patterson offered these tips to keep the office bully at bay:

Patterson 提供了讓人們遠(yuǎn)離欺負(fù)者的建議：

1. Don't be rude in return. 不要以“粗”相對(duì)

Replying with a snide remark means stooping to the bully's level, and the problem could escalate. 以卑鄙的話(huà)回答意味著把自己降低到惡棍的水準(zhǔn)，可能導(dǎo)致問(wèn)題激化。

2. Assume the best. 做最好的假設(shè)

Instead of assuming your co-worker is intentionally being rude or inconsiderate, assume he is unaware of how his actions are affecting you. For example, when someone cuts in line in front of you at a movie theater, say something like: "I'm sorry, were you aware that we've been standing here in line?" Presuming innocence avoids an accusation and gets the conversation started off right.

不要假設(shè)你的同事故意表現(xiàn)粗魯或不顧別人，而要假設(shè)他并不知道他的行為對(duì)你有何影響。例如，當(dāng)有人在電影院插隊(duì)，可以說(shuō)：“抱歉，你意識(shí)到我們?cè)谂抨?duì)嗎?” 假設(shè)對(duì)方無(wú)辜，可以避免指責(zé)并容易展開(kāi)對(duì)話(huà)。

3. Separate intentions from outcome. 分清結(jié)果和意圖

If your co-worker publicly calls you something offensive, before you respond in-kind, ask yourself: "Why would a decent, rational human being say something like that?" Then, approach your co-worker and say, "I'm sure you didn't intend this, but when you call me ‘honey' it makes me uncomfortable."

如果你的同事公然用侵犯的語(yǔ)言稱(chēng)呼你，在你以同樣方式做出回應(yīng)前，問(wèn)自己”為什么一個(gè)體面、有理智的人會(huì)說(shuō)出那樣的話(huà)?“ 然后，走到這人旁邊問(wèn)一問(wèn)：”我想你不是有意這么說(shuō)，但當(dāng)你叫我“甜心”，這讓我不舒服。“

4. Start with the facts. 從事實(shí)開(kāi)始

When you feel constantly offended by someone's behavior, it's easy to feel victimized or become convinced the bully is out to get you -- but this could lead to a nasty confrontation. Before you confront the bully by talking about your feelings or making conclusions, stick to the facts: "Often in our team meetings, you demean my ideas. Today, you called my idea stupid." Then proceed to your conclusion, and ask your co-worker for feedback.

當(dāng)你感到不斷被某人冒犯，很容易有受害者的感覺(jué)，或者認(rèn)為這位欺負(fù)者故意讓你生氣。但這可能導(dǎo)致一個(gè)不愉快的對(duì)峙。在你進(jìn)行對(duì)峙、談?wù)摳惺芎妥龀鼋Y(jié)論之前，從事實(shí)開(kāi)始：” 在我們小組會(huì)議時(shí)，你總是貶低我的看法，比如今天，你說(shuō)我的想法很愚蠢。“ 然后，說(shuō)到你的結(jié)論，讓對(duì)方做出反饋。