科學(xué)家們建議,結(jié)婚也不可以操之過急。現(xiàn)在,讓我們對(duì)應(yīng)該何時(shí)結(jié)婚來探個(gè)究竟吧。
We doubt you were shocked when Avril Lavigne announced she was splitting from her husband of three years. But while it's tempting to assume the cause was her brattypersona or rocker lifestyle, comments from her friends suggested that something more universal was at play: She was only 21 when she tied the knot and later told pals that she realized she'd been too young to make such a life-altering decision. Could fellow young celebrity divorces Reese Witherspoon, Kate Hudson, and Britney Spears have also hit the same age-related issue?
當(dāng)艾薇兒宣布與她結(jié)婚了3年的丈夫離婚時(shí),你一定感到非常震驚。于是大家紛紛猜測(cè)其中的原因,或許是由于她令人討厭的性格,或許是由于她那種搖滾式的生活。然而,來自于她的朋友們的評(píng)論卻暗示了一個(gè)非常普通的原因:當(dāng)年艾薇兒結(jié)婚時(shí)才只不過21歲,后來她曾跟她們說過,她意識(shí)到自己還太年輕,不應(yīng)該就這樣做出一個(gè)會(huì)改變一生的決定。同樣,像瑞茜威瑟斯彭、凱特哈德森以及布蘭妮斯皮爾斯等這些離了婚的名人,會(huì)不會(huì)也是由于年齡的問題?
The Magic Number 神奇的數(shù)字
There are practical reasons for the mid-20s dividing line, and most of them boil down to two biggies: education and money.
以25歲作為一個(gè)結(jié)婚的分水嶺是有一定的現(xiàn)實(shí)理由的,這些理由的絕大部分都可以歸結(jié)于兩大因素:受教育程度和金錢。
Turns out, the more years of higher education a woman has under her belt on her wedding day, the lower the chances that she'll get divorced ... and by 25, you're more likely to have earned a degree or two. "Educated women tend to be more confident about who they are and less willing to settle for a man who doesn't meet their standards," explains Terri Orbuch, Ph.D., author of Five Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage From Good to Great.
其結(jié)論是,一個(gè)女人受到高等教育的年數(shù)越多,其離婚的可能性就越低。到了25的時(shí)候,你很可能已經(jīng)獲得了1個(gè)或者2個(gè)學(xué)位了?!?個(gè)步驟使你的婚姻從良好走向完美》一書的作者特里奧布奇博士說:“受過良好教育的女人往往更了解自己需要什么,所以不會(huì)選擇那些不符合自己標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的男人。”
Odds are that by 25 you're also supporting yourself, so there's less incentive for you to rush into marriage because you're seeking financial security from him.
這也可能是,等到了25歲,你便可以養(yǎng)活自己了,所以也就不急著需要一個(gè)婚姻里去尋求男人在經(jīng)濟(jì)上給予的保障。
But the marriage-related benefits of working and having money of your own go beyond feeling secure, says Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., author of Finding Your Perfect Match. Learning to budget your cash carefully when you're single will help you avoid financial problems--one of the main causes of couple fights--for the rest of your life. And juggling responsibilities, dealing with differing personalities, and resolving conflicts on the job force you to develop skills that are necessary for maintaining long-term love.
但是,《找到你的完美婚姻》一書的作者派帕施瓦辛格博士說,與婚姻有關(guān)的好處,比如工作和自己賺到的錢,會(huì)超越這種感覺上的保障。當(dāng)你還是單身的時(shí)候,給自己的消費(fèi)做好預(yù)算,能夠避免你今后的生活出現(xiàn)經(jīng)濟(jì)問題,而這也是夫妻雙方出現(xiàn)爭吵的最主要原因。至于逃避責(zé)任,與各種不同性格的人打交道,處理工作上的矛盾等事情,都會(huì)迫使你培養(yǎng)出那些為維持一段長期婚姻所需要的技能。
Knowing the Real You 認(rèn)識(shí)真正的你 At 25, you've had time for some crucial life experiences, including a relationship or two that may have improved your Mr. Right radar. "You've probably dated enough to have a better idea of what you don't want in a man, which makes it easier to know what you can live with and can't live without," says Orbuch.
到了25歲,你就有時(shí)間去做一些很重要生活體驗(yàn),包括一兩次戀愛,這會(huì)有助于你更好的去尋找自己真正的另一半。奧布奇還說,“你很可能在約會(huì)了很多次以后,就會(huì)知道自己不喜歡什么樣的男人,這會(huì)使你更容易的知道什么樣的人是你的唯一。”
Perhaps the most important aspect of waiting is that you'll know what your goals and values really are, says Paul Coleman, Psy.D., author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Intimacy. While you don't want to marry someone just like you, marriage is a lot easier if you two share a similar outlook on life.
《完整的白癡指南》一書的作者,哲學(xué)博士保羅卡爾曼說,或許等一等再結(jié)婚最重要的理由是你會(huì)知道你真正的目標(biāo)和價(jià)值觀是什么。當(dāng)你不想與一個(gè)跟你一樣的人結(jié)婚的時(shí)候,跟一個(gè)與你有著相同觀點(diǎn)的人結(jié)婚就會(huì)變得很容易。
Twenty-four and already married to the man of your dreams? Don't worry: Many young marriages survive. But given the choice, you might consider putting off the big day until your mid-20s or later.
你是不是已經(jīng)24歲并且嫁給心中的白馬王子了?如果是這樣也用不著擔(dān)心:很多年輕的婚姻照樣能夠白頭偕老。如果再給你一次選擇的機(jī)會(huì),你或許可以考慮一下把自己的終身大事推遲到25歲以后。
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