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托??谡Z(yǔ)高分答題思路對(duì)比

所屬教程:托福口語(yǔ)

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2019年08月28日

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  托福口語(yǔ)高分學(xué)霸答題思路對(duì)比分析

  例題:

  If a foreign friend of yours is visiting your city. Which part of town would you recommend him or her to see? And why?

  普通考生答案:

  If a foreign friend is visiting my city, I would recommend him or her to visit the YU Garden because of the following reasons. First, there are many charming buildings. Some of them were even designed and built like a 100 years ago. Second, there are many local restaurants around and my friend can taste different kinds of delicious food. Last but not least, the place in the center of my town and the transportation to get there is very convenient. To sum up, If a foreign friend is visiting my city, I would recommend him or her to visit the YU Garden.

  為什么這個(gè)答案得不了高分?

  1. 開頭重復(fù)原題的句子是一個(gè)安全但是比較被動(dòng)的做法。學(xué)霸的答案是要體現(xiàn)出主動(dòng)而自然的表達(dá);

  2. 中間的三個(gè)理由貌似比較充分但實(shí)際上每個(gè)理由都存在擴(kuò)展不充分的問(wèn)題,結(jié)果變成了理由的羅列。學(xué)霸的答案重點(diǎn)不是在理由的數(shù)量(很多題目在15秒職能想到一個(gè)理由),而是在理由的細(xì)節(jié)擴(kuò)展上;

  3. 結(jié)尾的總結(jié)貌似讓整個(gè)答案更加完整,但實(shí)際上只是對(duì)主題句的完全重復(fù),沒有任何意義上的功能。學(xué)霸的答案一般會(huì)把寶貴的時(shí)間花在陳述真正有意義的內(nèi)容上,即使是總結(jié)也需要用更多樣化的語(yǔ)言;

  4. First/second/lastnot not least/to sum up這些過(guò)渡語(yǔ)表面上讓整個(gè)答案有邏輯,實(shí)際上會(huì)讓評(píng)分者認(rèn)為答題者在使用準(zhǔn)備好的答題模板,導(dǎo)致被壓分。學(xué)霸的答案是采用更佳自然的過(guò)渡。

  所以,學(xué)霸的答案應(yīng)該是這樣的:

  I’ll be happy to show my foreign friend the YU Garden which is a beautiful old community loaded with local culture.

  For one, the architecture there is amazing. I mean some of the buildings were designed and constructed like more than 100 years ago and those can give you a really good sense of history and ancient local culture, the gigantic stone gate decorated with nice-looking patterns,the delicate wooden roof painted with colorful pictures. You name it .

  Also,tons of local restaurants brings another reason to be there. You can find almost all kinds of local snacks which can never be found anywhere else.

  Isn't that the perfect place for a foreign friend?


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