高中英語(yǔ)作文的練習(xí)需要長(zhǎng)期不斷的堅(jiān)持,期間找準(zhǔn)素材更能起到事半功倍的效果。以下是小編整理的高中英語(yǔ)作文|旅行前的準(zhǔn)備的資料,希望對(duì)你的英語(yǔ)作文練習(xí)有所幫助!
Prepare my Grandparents' Journey to Shanghai
Firstly, we surfed the Internet together to book a hotel and got some information about train tickets. And we were overjoyed to learn that, luckily, the weather in Shanghai will be nice in the following days. The next morning, I went to the train station and waited for a long time before I bought two tickets. After I reached[1] home, I helped my grandparents to prepare their luggages[2],ensuring everything had been packed well. Yesterday afternoon, accompanied by me, my grandparents arrived at the train station safetly[3]. When the train began to move, I waved to them and gave them my best wishes.
Wish them to have a great journey!
修改意見(jiàn):
[1] reach 表示到達(dá)是及物動(dòng)詞,而這里的home前面沒(méi)有任何限定詞,則被視為副詞。所以這里改為:arrived home; 或者:got back home.
[2] luggage 是個(gè)不可數(shù)名詞,不要加復(fù)數(shù)。
[3] safetly拼寫(xiě)錯(cuò)誤;改為:safely
點(diǎn)評(píng):22分,是一篇高檔次文章,文章整體流暢,用詞得體(聽(tīng)了俺的話就是不一樣哈)。但稍微偏瘦了一點(diǎn)點(diǎn),如果能在中間敘述部分稍微增添一丁點(diǎn)筆墨,就能使文章內(nèi)容更充實(shí),更雄渾有厚度。當(dāng)然,這就是向滿(mǎn)分文章進(jìn)軍了。
比如:when the train began to move 改成:When the train pulled out from the station, roaring away, I waved to them and gave them my best wishes.
最后一段的:Wish them to have a great journey! 改成:They reached out their heads, fixing their eyes on me, their faces beaming with satisfaction. 這僅僅是一種方向,一種熏陶,不要過(guò)多可以追求。