初一英語(yǔ)作文:我父親很溫柔 My Father is a Gentleman（解析）

My father has small eyes,Wear a pair of glasses,looking more gently,the daddy's hair are not many, he said "the intelligent head does not grow hair"，daddy does the management, but daddy usually ever not talk bureaucratically to others, therefore his personal connection is specially good,is the same as me.daddy speaks always extremely temperately,never say hit the person,curse at people are also few,calculated scolded people not to be big, although sometimes also can be angry for a longtime,but just only about one day,could no surpass in one day-long.

He usually educate me that the person must to be honestly,friendly to other,and working diligently.

This is my father, I love him forever.

點(diǎn)評(píng)：

總體：這篇文章的第一段是一氣呵成的看，即一逗到底。這在英文當(dāng)中是不可取的。寫該篇文章的考生是有一定的詞匯量的，因?yàn)槲恼鲁霈F(xiàn)了很多不錯(cuò)的詞匯，但是文章的語(yǔ)法，則是完全錯(cuò)誤的。如果這篇文章給外國(guó)人看，他們肯定是不知其所云?？梢哉f(shuō)這篇文章是完全將英文詞匯按照漢語(yǔ)的語(yǔ)序拼接而來(lái)的。

分評(píng)：

1)詞匯：小作者的詞匯量不錯(cuò)，里面出現(xiàn)了很多高級(jí)的詞匯，例如，surpass(超過(guò))、connection (連接，溝通)，temperately(暫時(shí)地)。這點(diǎn)對(duì)于小作者的作文是加分的。

2)語(yǔ)法：考生里面存在很多的語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤，在這里列舉其中的最大的要害加以說(shuō)明：一逗到底。英文和中文的語(yǔ)法是不一樣的。英文的主句里面只能出現(xiàn)一個(gè)動(dòng)詞，若要出現(xiàn)多個(gè)單詞，則需要加連詞。例如"My father has small eyes,Wear a pair of glasses,looking more gently,"應(yīng)該寫成：“My father has small eyes,and Wears a pair of glasses,looking more gently.”