雙語智慧書·學(xué)會拒絕

70．學(xué)會拒絕
　　學(xué)會拒絕。與人相處，有求必應(yīng)是不切實際的。懂得如何拒絕，與懂得如何承諾同樣重要，特別是對居于高位的人來說，更是如此。任何事都取決于你如何去做。有些人的拒絕比另一些人的承諾更讓人感激。因為鍍了金的"不"比干巴的"是"更得人心。有很多人總把"不"字掛在嘴邊，事事令人厭惡。他們總是先拒絕，雖然后來也可能讓步，卻無法獲得任何好處，因為他們一開始就讓人失望。拒絕別人不要直截了當，要讓別人漸漸地接受被拒絕的事實。絕不徹底回絕什么事--如果是那樣，別人就再也不會依賴你。因此，要留一些希望，讓你的拒絕更柔和。既然沒有好處，就要用好言好語來補償。"是"和"不"說起來很快，但說之前卻是頗費腦筋。



70．Know how to refuse
　Know how to refuse. One ought not to give way in everything nor to everybody. To know how to refuse is therefore as important as to know how to consent. This is especially the case with men of position. All depends on the how. Some men's No is thought more of than the Yes of others: for a gilded No is more satisfactory than a dry Yes. There are some who always have No on their lips, whereby they make everything distasteful. No always comes first with them, and when sometimes they give way after all, it does them no good on account of the unpleasing herald. Your refusal need not be point-blank: let the disappointment come by degrees. Nor let the refusal be final: that would destroy dependence; let some spice of hope remain to soften the rejection. Let politeness compensate and fine words supply the place of deeds. Yes and No are soon said, but give much to think over.