68.點(diǎn)撥其心智,勝于助其回憶
點(diǎn)撥其心智,勝于助其回憶。前者需要思考,后者只需回憶。許多人不能在恰當(dāng)?shù)臅r(shí)候做恰當(dāng)?shù)氖?,只是因?yàn)樗麄円粫r(shí)未能想起來(lái)。在這種情況下,朋友的提醒可讓他們看清事物的利弊。能審時(shí)度勢(shì)、提供當(dāng)下所需是人的一大天賦--缺少了它,許多事就無(wú)法繼續(xù)。如果你有見(jiàn)事之明,就應(yīng)為他人指點(diǎn)迷津。如果你沒(méi)有,就請(qǐng)他人幫助你。前者你要慎重,后者你要急切。為人引路時(shí)須謹(jǐn)慎行事,點(diǎn)到即可。如果事關(guān)當(dāng)事人的利益,而你已提醒他小心,則更需講究這個(gè)技巧。一開(kāi)始,你只需讓他有所領(lǐng)悟;如果還不夠,就應(yīng)提供更多的信息。假使對(duì)方不以為然,你就應(yīng)運(yùn)用技巧讓他贊同。很多事情沒(méi)有結(jié)果,只是因?yàn)闆](méi)有嘗試罷了。
68.It is better to help with intelligence than with memory
It is better to help with intelligence than with memory. The latter needs only recollection, the former requires thought. Many persons omit what is appropriate to the moment because it does not occur to them; a friend's advice on such occasions may enable them to see the advantages. It is one of the greatest gifts of mind to be able to offer what is needed at the moment: for want of that many things fail to be performed. Share the light of your intelligence, when you have any, and ask for it when you have it not, the first cautiously, the last anxiously. Give no more than a hint: this finesse is especially needful when it touches the interest of him whose attention you awaken. You should give but a taste at first, and then pass on to more when that is not sufficient. If he thinks of No, go cleverly in search of Yes. Most things are not obtained simply because they are not attempted.