我只知道，我還沒有失去愛的能力

My first marriage was falling apart, imploding at every turn. The love, or whatever was left of it, was going to end whether I liked it or not. It was a bitter pill I spent the months leading up to our split trying to swallow.

我的第一段婚姻失敗地很徹底。愛情，或者剩下的一切，不管我愿不愿意，都即將結(jié)束了。我花了好幾個月的時間才從‘悲傷’中逐漸恢復(fù)。

But regardless of how painful the ending of a marriage can be, a sentiment echoed in my heart and mind every day and it was too loud to be ignored as my first marriage inched closer to its impending fate. I wasn't done with love yet and wanted to be remarried after divorce.

但不管這段婚姻的結(jié)束有多么痛苦，我的腦海中每天都還是回蕩著一種情緒，而隨著第一段婚姻即將告一段落，這種情緒越發(fā)明顯——我還沒有失去愛的能力，離婚后我還想結(jié)婚。

My heart was split in two. Half of it was in a constant ache from the reality of what was to come of my marriage. But the other half was hopeful and almost all-knowing that a greater love was out there waiting for me. In good time, my heart would feel whole again.

我的心被分成了兩半。一半因為婚姻破裂的現(xiàn)實而不停地疼痛，而另一半?yún)s又充滿希望，認為會有那么一個人在等著愛我。慢慢地，我的心將再次完整。

On a cool-for-Miami March morning, the day I dreaded for so long had come: My marriage was over. As my ex-husband left the home for good, I prepared for life as a single mother. My then 2-year-old and I quickly made a warm, loving home out of our brand-new townhouse for two, and without skipping a beat—aside from a bout of flu that hit us both almost instantly—life went on.

在三月份一個蕭瑟的早晨(邁阿密)，我害怕已久的那一天到來了：我的婚姻結(jié)束了。前夫永遠地離開了我們的家，我也開始準備做一位單身媽媽。那時，我和我2歲的孩子很快就從新買的別墅中收拾了兩間房，開始了充滿溫馨和愛的生活——除了一場流感幾乎將我倆都打倒外，我們生活得很好——生活也還在繼續(xù)。

That constant ache now replaced by adrenaline, forced me to keep moving forward in whatever way I felt was best for my daughter and me. But I still clung on to the belief that something was coming, something greater than I had ever known, and it was this sense of knowing that brought me peace every night when I lay my head down at night.

那種持續(xù)的痛苦現(xiàn)在已被腎上腺素所取代，迫使我為了女兒和自己以最好的姿態(tài)繼續(xù)生活。但我仍舊堅信，愛會來臨的，這種愛比以往遇到的更為熱烈，而每晚撫我安睡、伴我入眠的正是這一信念。

That's not to say this time in my life wasn't difficult. It was—single motherhood is not for the faint of heart. "All I know, is that I'm not done with love yet," I'd tell anyone who inquired about my next steps.

但這并不表示離婚后的那段日子并不辛苦。事實上，日子真的很難——但女子本弱，為母則剛。“我只知道，我還沒有失去愛的能力，”我會對每一位關(guān)心我日后生活的人如是說。