長(zhǎng)久的戀情，有這幾個(gè)特點(diǎn)

1. 在一起的時(shí)候，你們感覺(jué)很自在。

In the early stages of a relationship, people tend to present only the sparkliest versions of themselves, hiding anything that could make them seem less desirable in their partner's eyes. But when you don't feel like you constantly need to impress your partner to earn their affection — because you know this person likes you, warts and all — it bodes well for your future as a couple.

戀情初期，人們往往只展現(xiàn)自己的優(yōu)點(diǎn)，盡可能地將可能被另一半視作不盡如人意的缺點(diǎn)隱藏起來(lái)。但當(dāng)你覺(jué)得不再需要通過(guò)給對(duì)方留下好印象來(lái)贏得他/她好感的時(shí)候——因?yàn)槟阒浪?她喜歡你，不論優(yōu)缺點(diǎn)——這就是感情發(fā)展的好兆頭。

"If you can be yourself and feel comfortable letting your guard down and being you, the relationship is in good shape," said psychologist and sex therapist Shannon Chavez. That also means you feel like you can speak up when something's bugging you, rather than staying quiet or only saying what you think your partner wants to hear.

“如果卸下一身防備，你仍能怡然地做真實(shí)的自己，那就表明你們的感情很穩(wěn)定，”心理學(xué)家和性治療師香農(nóng)·查韋斯(Shannon Chavez)說(shuō)道。這也意味著當(dāng)某事困擾你時(shí)，你可以盡情說(shuō)出自己的感受，而非沉默不語(yǔ)或只說(shuō)些另一半想聽(tīng)的話。

2. You consistently show up for one another.

2. 你們能言行一致。

You call when you say you're going to call. When you agree to do something, it gets done. If you commit to a plan, your partner knows you'll stick to it and vice versa. You know you can count on each other for things big and small.

當(dāng)你說(shuō)你要打電話的時(shí)候，你就是去打電話了。當(dāng)你同意做某事的時(shí)候，就會(huì)做成這件事。如果你致力于完成一個(gè)計(jì)劃，你的另一半就會(huì)知道你會(huì)堅(jiān)持下去，反之亦然。你們知道，無(wú)論事大事小，你們都可以相互信任。

"This indicates that each person is in the right frame of mind for a healthy relationship and that they are both on the same page," said Deborah Duley, a psychotherapist and owner of Empowered Connections, which specializes in counseling for women, girls and the LGBTQ community. "Consistency allows for trust to build, which then allows intimacy to grow because both partners feel safe."

“這表明雙方都心態(tài)積極，打算建立一段健康的戀情，且雙方意見(jiàn)一致，”心理學(xué)家和Empowered Connections機(jī)構(gòu)的所有人黛博拉·杜萊(Deborah Duley)說(shuō)道。該機(jī)構(gòu)為女性、女孩、女同性戀者、男同性戀者、雙性戀者和跨性別者提供咨詢服務(wù)。“言行一致會(huì)建立信任感。因?yàn)殡p方都有了安全感之后，彼此的親密度也會(huì)增加。”

3. You sincerely apologize to each other when you've done something wrong.

3. 做錯(cuò)事的時(shí)候，會(huì)真心道歉。

And no, "I'm sorry you feel that way" does not count as a genuine apology. Two people who can take responsibility for their missteps, instead of rattling off a bunch of excuses for their behavior, are more likely to move through rough patches without lingering resentments.

“很抱歉讓你這樣想”當(dāng)然算不上真心道歉。能為自己的錯(cuò)誤負(fù)責(zé)而非找一堆借口的戀愛(ài)雙方更有可能度過(guò)磕磕碰碰的時(shí)光，而不心存怨恨。

"We all make mistakes, say things we shouldn't have said, and can be selfish at times," Smith said. "A simple, 'I'm sorry' is amazing in how healing it can be for a relationship. If you’ve got a partner who’s willing to say sorry, that's a hard-to-find quality and strength, and you should do all you can to keep them."

“我們都會(huì)犯錯(cuò)，說(shuō)一些我們不該說(shuō)的話，有時(shí)候也會(huì)表現(xiàn)得很自私，”史密斯說(shuō)道。“一句簡(jiǎn)單的對(duì)不起就能愈合你們的關(guān)系。如果你的另一半愿意說(shuō)對(duì)不起，這真的是一個(gè)很難得的品質(zhì)，你應(yīng)該盡你所能和他/她幸福地生活下去。”