收到不喜歡的禮物怎么辦

Count on the Thought

收到不喜歡的禮物怎么辦

I am a 15-year-old girl with a problem that’s going to make me sound super-spoiled. I get excited for the holidays, especially (and selfishly) about the gifts I’m going to get. But every year, I end up bummed out. Like: “Really, Mom? A bracelet for a 10-year-old?” It happened again this year. I know the holidays aren’t about gifts, but I can’t help feeling as if the people who get me presents don’t even know me. Any advice?

我是個女孩，今年15歲，我的問題聽起來會給人一種我被慣壞了的感覺。節(jié)日總是讓我興奮，特別是想到我會收到禮物(這個也有點自私)。但是每年我都會失望。比如：“不是吧，媽媽?給10歲的孩子送手鐲?”今年也是這樣。我知道節(jié)日的重點不是禮物，但我總覺得給我送禮物的人好像都不懂我。你有什么建議嗎?

Anonymous, Albany

匿名，奧爾巴尼

For one Christmas, we should all be 10-year-old gay boys, circa 1975: old enough to feel vaguely ashamed of being different — not that we should, but remember, this is 1975 — and no chance of telling our parents what we really want. (Hello, Easy-Bake Oven!) So we make up something that a “normal” boy may like, but we never wanted it. That pitiful cycle cured me of gift dissatisfaction for life. I never expect to like gifts; I’m only grateful for the giver’s effort.

大約在1975年的圣誕節(jié)，我們都是10歲的快樂孩子：在那個年紀，跟別人不同會讓你模糊地感到羞愧——不是說我們應(yīng)該那樣，但是要知道那是 1975年——我們沒機會告訴父母我們真正想要的東西(嗨，簡易烤箱!)。所以我們會編出一個“正常”男孩可能會喜歡的東西，但我們自己其實從未真的想要它。這個可憐的惡性循環(huán)讓我一生都不會對禮物失望。我從不期望自己會喜歡禮物，只會感激贈予者的付出。

Try to tamp down your expectations, Sweetie. We all have mysterious hearts, even you — maybe especially you. It’s next to impossible for parents to keep up with quick-change teen tastes. Focus on your mom, instead: driving to the jewelry store and wandering the aisles, somehow walking out with a gift for a little girl. Doesn’t that make you feel better about her lousy bracelet? It should. If not, work hard in school. Then, when you’re a successful adult, you can buy the things you really want for yourself.

寶貝，盡量降低你的期待吧。我們的內(nèi)心都很神秘，包括你，你的內(nèi)心甚至可能尤為神秘。父母們幾乎不可能把握青少年快速變化的喜好。把重點放在你媽媽身上吧：她開車到珠寶店，在柜臺間徘徊，在這里給一個小女孩買了個禮物。這樣想想，你對那個討厭手鐲的感覺是不是好了一點?應(yīng)該會。如果沒有，那你就努力學(xué)習(xí)。這樣你長大后事業(yè)成功，就能買你真正想要的東西了。

Guest of Horror

受驚的客人

On the afternoon of our holiday party, a friend asked if he could bring a guest. We said yes. When they showed up, his guest (whom we had never met) saw our dog and screamed. She demanded that the dog be “put away.” But we live in an open loft; there was no place to put him. We explained that our dog is old and friendly, but the guest refused to come in and our friend was furious. What should we have done?

在我們舉辦節(jié)日派對的那個下午，一個朋友詢問能否帶一位客人來。我們同意了。他們現(xiàn)身時，他的客人(我們從未見過)看到我們的狗，尖叫起來。她要求把狗“關(guān)起來”。但我們住在一個開放的loft公寓里，沒有地方關(guān)狗。我們解釋說我們的狗年紀大了，很友好，但是這位客人拒絕進來，我們的朋友很生氣。我們當時應(yīng)該怎么做呢?

L.C., New York

L. C. ，紐約

Why is it always the uninvited guests who swan in with the greatest sense of entitlement? You did exactly what you should have: apologize sweetly for the impossibility of acceding to her demands. If you wanted to go the extra mile (not that you should have), you could have offered to put your dog on a leash. But that only raises another question: With you and your partner scurrying around as party hosts, who would hold the other end of it? We’re all entitled to our fears, but that doesn’t give us the right, as guests, to reorder our host’s universe.

為什么總是那些不速之客覺得自己最需要照顧?你做得很對：溫和地為不能答應(yīng)她的要求道歉。如果你想多付出一點(不是說你必須這樣做)，你可以提出給狗拴上繩子。但是那會引發(fā)另一個問題：你和伴侶作為派對主人四處奔走時，誰來牽狗呢?我們都有權(quán)利恐懼，但是作為客人，我們無權(quán)重新安排主人的世界。

Leaving a Paper Trail

手寫感謝卡

I am a new law school grad and looking for a job. I have been interviewing with partners at law firms and others. Typically, I follow up with thank-you emails within 24 hours and handwritten notes a few days after that. But my adviser thinks that handwritten notes are unnecessary these days, and my husband thinks they make me look like a schoolgirl. What about you?

我是個剛畢業(yè)的法學(xué)院學(xué)生，正在找工作。我參加了一些法律事務(wù)所合伙人主持的面試。我一般會在面試結(jié)束后24小時內(nèi)發(fā)去電子感謝信，幾天后再發(fā)去手寫的感謝卡。但我的指導(dǎo)老師認為如今沒必要發(fā)手寫卡片，我丈夫認為那會讓我看起來像個女學(xué)生。你怎么看呢?

Katrina Robinson, New York

卡特里娜·羅賓遜(Katrina Robinson)，紐約

Naturally, I disagree. (But that’s what makes a horse race.) I see no downside in taking a second crack at reminding hiring people of your existence. If that makes us “schoolgirls,” in your husband’s view, sign me up for a pinafore — and our new employer’s dental plan. One caveat: do more in the handwritten notes than repeat the contents of your initial emails. Hunt around for articles your interviewers have written or cases they won, and mention them. (Flattery is one of life’s best lubricants.)

我肯定是不同意他們的看法(不過每個人都有自己的理由)。我覺得讓招聘人員再次想到你，沒有任何負面影響。如果就像你丈夫說的，那讓我們看起來像 “女學(xué)生”，那我也報名要一條學(xué)生款連衣裙——以及我們新雇主的牙科護理計劃。還有一個建議：在手寫卡上多花些工夫，不要重復(fù)你最初電子郵件中的內(nèi)容。搜索一下面試官們發(fā)表的文章或打贏的官司，在感謝卡中提一下(恭維是人生最好的潤滑劑)。

Still, remember the wisdom of the ’80s pop star Karla Bonoff and pretend she was referring to the limits of thank-you notes when she sort of sang: You can mail it in, you can phone it in, you send it in by your closest kin — but you’re only getting that second interview if they liked you personally, yeah, personally.

不過，別忘了80年代流行歌星卡拉·博諾夫(Karla Bonoff)的智慧，不妨把她唱的那首歌理解成是在講感謝信的局限：你可以把它寄去，也可以打電話表示感謝，還可以通過近親轉(zhuǎn)交——但只有在他們喜歡你這個人的時候，你才會得到第二次面試機會。

Driving You Mad

把人逼瘋

A couple I know hosts an annual gumbo party for New Year’s. Three years ago, I scraped the side of another guest’s car as I was leaving. I thought it was shrubbery, but the next morning, I saw what had happened. I called the host immediately and covered the other guest’s damage. Trouble is, this other guest continues to rib me about the accident every year. I want to move on from it. But I only see these folks at the party, and I don’t feel like having a heart-to-heart. Any suggestions?

我認識的一對夫婦每年都舉辦新年派對。三年前，我離開派對時刮花了另一位客人的車的側(cè)面。我以為自己刮上了灌木叢，第二天早上才明白發(fā)生了什么。當時我馬上給主人打電話，為那位客人支付了修車費。問題是，那位客人每年都拿這事嘲弄我。我不想再提這事了。但我只在這個派對上看到這些人，我不想對他們推心置腹地說這件事。你有什么建議嗎?

Anonymous

匿名

Other than a hearing test? (Does metal scraping metal really sound like the brush of privet to you?) No, the reason this guy keeps ribbing you is precisely because he sees you only once a year. To him, your sideswipe is the most memorable thing about you. If you want the teasing to stop, get to know each other better at the party (so he has some competing information) or invite him to your place during the year. Two more thoughts: A sassy quip guarantees that your lousy driving will be etched in acid on this guy’s brain. And don’t forget your side mirrors.

你是說除了聽力測試之外的建議?(金屬刮擦聽起來真的像刮上了灌木叢?)這個人一直嘲弄你是因為他一年只見你一次。你刮花他的車是他對你最深刻的印象。如果你不想讓他再嘲弄你，那就在派對上更多地相互了解(這樣他對你就有別的印象了)或者在一年的其他時候邀請他去你家。還有兩點提醒你：對他還以無禮的嘲弄一定會讓你糟糕的駕駛技術(shù)更深刻地印在他腦海里。還有，不要忘了看后視鏡。