如何把你家寵物武裝到牙齒？

　　如何把你家寵物武裝到牙齒?

　　ORLANDO, FLA. — The takeaway from the Global Pet Expo, at which 985 exhibitors of pet products were spread out over 13 football fields’ worth of real estate in the Orange County Convention Center here, is that Americans really love their dogs. And yet, perhaps as a result of so much love, those dogs are increasingly anxious, bored, overweight, messy and have terrible breath. They suffer from separation anxiety and they worry about thunderstorms, traffic noises, visitors and vacuum cleaners. Their joints ache, and they eat too fast; they chew the furniture and bedevil the neighbors with their barking. Also, drool happens.

　　佛羅里達州奧蘭多——此次在奧蘭治縣會展中心(Orange County Convention Center)舉辦的全球?qū)櫸镎?Global Pet Expo)，有985個寵物用品參展商，分布在一片超過13個足球場大小的場地里。從這次展覽可以得出一個結(jié)論，美國人實在很愛他們的狗。然而，可能因為過于溺愛，那些狗兒變得越來越焦躁、倦怠、臃腫、邋遢，還散發(fā)出難聞的氣味。他們患有分離焦慮癥，擔(dān)心打雷下雨，不喜歡聽見車流的噪音，不喜歡有訪客登門，也不喜歡真空吸塵器。它們關(guān)節(jié)疼痛，吃東西太快;它們啃爛家具，狂吠聲侵?jǐn)_四鄰。口水四溢的事也常有發(fā)生。

　　Push Pushi raincoats (starting at about $40) have awning-like hoods.

　　Push Pushi公司生產(chǎn)的寵物雨衣，帶有可拆卸的雨篷狀兜帽(起價40美元)。

　　But such a thicket of issues encourages ingenuity — as does, presumably, the promise of a huge payday. Last year, Americans spent $55.7 billion on their pets, according to the American Pet Products Association, the group that sponsored the three-day event that ended on Friday. And next year’s spending, it estimated, will rise to $58.5 billion.

　　但這一大堆如此棘手的問題，也激發(fā)了創(chuàng)造力——大概類似于老板承諾的領(lǐng)薪日所起的作用吧。此次為期三天、即將于周五(3月21日——譯注)閉幕的展覽會，主辦方是美國寵物用品協(xié)會(American Pet Products Association)。據(jù)該組織統(tǒng)計，去年一年，美國人花在寵物身上的開銷是557億美元(約合人民幣3460.5億元)。而明年，這項支出估計將會上漲到585億美元(約合人民幣3634.4億元)。

　　There were more than 3,000 new products at the show, and while Pet Expo is theoretically a big tent that aims to address all appetites, this reporter noted only a smattering of booths devoted to the affairs of cats, reptiles, fish and small rodents. Really, dogs are more interesting than betas, if more problematic behavior-wise. And you can dress them, too.

　　此次展會推出了3000多種新產(chǎn)品。雖然按理來說，寵物用品展是個旨在滿足所有需求的大賣場，但本文記者只看到了為數(shù)不多的幾個有關(guān)貓咪、兩棲動物、魚類和小型嚙齒類動物的展位。真的，雖然狗類更容易有行為舉止方面的問題，卻也比其它寵物更加有趣。而且，你還可以打扮它們。

　　On the way to the farthest, chilliest corner of the convention center — like so much of Orlando, the building was enthusiastically air-conditioned — where many of the new exhibitors were planted, there were fleece dog snoods (the Doggy Dickey, from American Dog Apparel, $25); hand-smocked dog dresses from Oscar Newman Pet Couture ($72 to $79); and natty raincoats with detachable awning-like hoods (starting at about $40) from Push Pushi, whose chief operating officer, Steffen Kuehr, has another company that makes protective gear like kneepads for the military.

　　會展中心大廈與奧蘭多市(Orlando)里的許多地方一樣，場內(nèi)的空調(diào)開得很足。一路往會展中心最偏僻冷清的角落走去，那里是許多新參展商的所在地。他們的展品有羊毛材質(zhì)的狗頭套(來自寵物服飾品牌American Dog Apparel的Doggy Dickey，價格25美元[約合人民幣155元]);有手工百褶寵物狗罩衫，由奧斯卡·紐曼寵物時裝公司(Oscar Newman Pet Couture)制造(價格從72美元至79美元[約合人民幣447元至491元]不等);還有Push Pushi公司生產(chǎn)的帥氣寵物雨衣，帶有可拆卸的雨篷狀兜帽(起價40美元[約合人民幣249元])。該公司的首席運營官史蒂芬·庫爾(Steffen Kuehr)還經(jīng)營著另一家為軍隊生產(chǎn)護膝類防護裝備的公司。

　　Also trawling the aisles was Lauren Darr, founder of the International Association of Pet Fashion Professionals (motto: Unleashing Pet Style, One Designer at a Time). Don’t snicker. Ms. Darr said her organization, started in August, already has 2,000 such pros in its database.

　　國際寵物時尚專業(yè)協(xié)會(International Association of Pet Fashion Professionals)的創(chuàng)始人勞倫·達爾(Lauren Darr)，也游弋在展會的走道中“撒網(wǎng)”(該協(xié)會的座右銘是：發(fā)布寵物風(fēng)尚，每次一位設(shè)計師)。別偷著樂。達爾說，她這家成立于8月份的組織的數(shù)據(jù)庫中，已經(jīng)有了2000名這樣的支持者了。

　　She stopped to chat with Chris Martin and his 14-year-old daughter, Brooke, newbies at the show. It was a golden retriever’s separation anxiety that led Miss Martin, now a ninth-grader in Spokane, Wash., to invent the iCPooch (about $150), a video-chat/treat dispenser that works with a smartphone, tablet or computer. Last year, when Miss Martin brought the notion — inspired, she said, by Pez dispensers and the abundance of wireless monitoring technologies — to Spokane’s annual Start Up Weekend, a 54-hour workshop and business competition, she received a standing ovation. Since then, she has raised nearly $30,000 in a Kickstarter campaign and “several hundred thousand dollars more in angel funds,” her father said.

　　她停下腳步，與克里斯·馬丁(Chris Martin)及其14歲的女兒、初次參加這個展會的布魯克(Brooke)攀談起來。正是一只金毛獵犬的分離焦慮癥，讓這位家住華盛頓州斯波坎市 (Spokane, Wash)的9年級學(xué)生發(fā)明了iCPooch(大約150美元[約合人民幣932元])。這是一種可以通過智能手機、平板電腦或臺式電腦工作的視頻聊天/ 喂食器。布魯克說，去年，她從Pez喂食器和各種無線監(jiān)控技術(shù)中得到了靈感。當(dāng)她把這個想法帶到斯波坎市每年一度的創(chuàng)業(yè)周末(Start Up Weekend)活動時，在這個長達54小時的研討會與商業(yè)推廣競賽中，她得到了全場起立鼓掌喝彩。自那以后，她在Kickstarter網(wǎng)站的一次籌資活動中共募集到3萬美元(約合人民幣18.6萬元)，“還獲得了十多萬美元的天使基金，”她父親說。

　　Grinning at Ms. Darr, the pet fashion group founder, and perhaps imagining an iCPooch in every household with dogs (there are 56.7 million such households in the United States, according to the pet products association), Mr. Martin added, “Imagine their embarrassment if they weren’t properly attired when you called to talk to them,” meaning the dogs.

　　馬丁對寵物風(fēng)尚組織的創(chuàng)始人達爾咧嘴一笑，他也許在想象，將來每個養(yǎng)狗的家庭都擁有一個iCPooch(據(jù)寵物用品協(xié)會統(tǒng)計，美國有5670萬這樣的家庭)。他補充說，“你可以想象自己一個電話打過去的時候，它們衣冠不整的尷尬樣子，”他指的那些狗。

　　It was dog slobber that spurred the invention of the Fetchbee, a Frisbee-esque plastic disc (about $25) with a clip-on/clip-off arm that enables you to hurl it over and over again without getting drool all over your hands. Or mud. Or having to bend down.

　　而Fetchbee這項發(fā)明的誕生，是源自寵物狗流口水的問題。這是一個飛盤狀的塑料圓盤(大約25美元[約合人民幣155元])，連著一根可以夾上/松開的桿子，讓你能不斷把飛盤投擲出去，而不用沾得滿手口水或是滿手泥，你甚至都不用彎腰了。

　　Adriaan Smit, its creator, is a South African engineer living in Portland, Ore., who earlier invented the WavyWand, a human toy that makes trippy light trails with LEDs. His company, Real Innovators, was also presenting the Tabby Tamer (about $15), an orange plastic clip like those that close the tops of potato chip bags, only this one is designed to grab the scruff of a cat’s neck and immobilize it.

　　發(fā)明者阿德里安·斯密特(Adriaan Smit)是一位住在俄勒岡州波特蘭市(Portland, Ore.)的南非工程師。他之前發(fā)明過揮揮魔棒(WavyWand)，是一種可以用LED燈制造出幻光效應(yīng)的人類玩具。他的公司Real Innovators還展出了Tabby Tamer(大約15美元[約合人民幣93元])。這是一個橘紅色的塑料夾子，就像夾在薯片包裝袋頂端的那種。這件設(shè)計品是用來抓住貓咪頸背，使其停止動作的。

　　Good luck, thought this reporter. Here was a product that, like the old saw about second marriages, would seem to be a triumph of hope over experience, though Mr. Smit and his colleagues swore it had been road tested.

　　祝你好運，記者想。這樣一件產(chǎn)品就像老一輩人眼里的二婚，似乎是以美好愿望戰(zhàn)勝實際經(jīng)驗的實例。不過，斯密特和他的同事信誓旦旦地說，這件產(chǎn)品已經(jīng)通過了應(yīng)用檢測。

　　Three generations of the Hamill family were presenting the adorable iFetch (about $100), an “on demand” battery-operated ball launcher. It’s made for relentless, fetch-obsessed canines; you know who they are. Clever dogs can learn to drop a small ball in the opening on top, and then the iFetch, which has an appealing, biomorphic design like a white plastic teakettle, shoots the ball out of another opening.

　　哈米爾(Hamill)家的三代人正展示著外觀可愛的iFetch(大約100美元[約合人民幣621元])，那是一臺“十分搶手的”、以電池帶動的小球發(fā)射器。這件產(chǎn)品是專門為百折不撓、接球成癡的犬類設(shè)計的——你懂的。聰明的狗兒能學(xué)會把小球塞進頂部的開口中，然后這臺外觀迷人、符合仿生學(xué)設(shè)計、長得像個白色塑料茶壺的iFetch，就會把這只球從另一邊的開口中射出去。

　　Judging from the video, most dogs are driven to ecstasy by the device. It was developed, said Grant Hamill, 20, for Prancer, the family’s toy poodle, whose incessant ball dropping was making him crazy. Unfortunately, he added, “Prancer is kind of dumb, and he only likes it when Mom throws the ball.”

　　從視頻資料中判斷，這臺設(shè)備讓大多數(shù)狗兒變得很興奮。20歲的格蘭特·哈米爾(Grant Hamill)說，這件產(chǎn)品是為他家的玩具貴賓犬普蘭瑟(Prancer)設(shè)計的。這只狗總是不停地把球銜給他，讓他感到抓狂。很不幸的是，他補充說， “普蘭瑟有點呆，他只喜歡由媽媽來扔球。”

　　The K-9 Kannon Mini from Hyper Pet (about $26), does require the human touch, yet its range of 75 feet would certainly buy time. Like the Fetchbee, the Kannon is made for hands-free pickup, to separate you from drool-soaked balls.

　　由Hyper Pet設(shè)計的一款迷你K-9 Kannon槍(大約26美元[約合人民幣162元])就必須有人來操作了。然而，這把射程75英尺(約53米)的槍，肯定會讓狗兒們跑上好一陣子。和 Fetchbee一樣，Kannon槍有自動拾取設(shè)計，可以使你免于接觸那些沾滿口水的球。

　　Elsie Hamilton, an artist from Denver, had harvested dog hair from her miniature Australian shepherd, Lilly, to demonstrate her product, the Be Forever Furless Lilly Brush (about $20). You wonder what the baggage handlers made of her fur-filled luggage. In any case, Henry Strazza, her colleague, had taken a Zyrtec.

　　一位來自丹佛(Denver)的藝術(shù)家埃爾希·漢密爾頓(Elsie Hamilton)，已經(jīng)從她的小型澳大利亞牧羊犬莉莉(Lilly)身上刷了些狗毛下來，以此證明她的狗毛刷產(chǎn)品Be Forever Furless Lilly Brush很實用(大約20美元[約合人民幣124元])。你不禁要擔(dān)心，搬運工們在運送她那只裝滿狗毛的行李箱時會怎么樣。無論如何，她的同事亨利·斯特拉扎(Henry Strazza)已經(jīng)吃過一片仙特明(Zyrtec，一種抗過敏藥——譯注)。

　　Ms. Hamilton, who wore a rickrack-trimmed apron that she had made herself, spread Lilly’s dark fur on a white cotton mat and then Lilly-ed it up, for three days straight. The floor of Ms. Hamilton and Mr. Strazza’s booth wore clumps of Lilly’s hair. Ms. Hamilton invented the brush a few years ago while she was recuperating from a heart attack and was forbidden to use a vacuum cleaner by doctor’s order. Lilly spent those weeks keeping Ms. Hamilton company on the sofa, shedding enthusiastically, though with love.

　　漢密爾頓穿著自己做的一條荷葉邊圍裙，把莉莉的黑色毛發(fā)鋪在一張白色棉墊上，然后用莉莉刷將之一掃而光，如此這般刷了三天。但在漢密爾頓與斯特拉扎的那個展位的地面上，還是落著一叢叢莉莉的毛發(fā)。漢密爾頓幾年前發(fā)明了這只刷子，當(dāng)時她剛剛從心臟病突發(fā)中恢復(fù)，醫(yī)生禁止她使用吸塵器。那幾個星期里，莉莉一直在沙發(fā)上陪著她，但是脫毛脫得厲害——雖然也是愛的表達。

　　Adam Harrington, an entrepreneur from Nashville, showed off his Tuggo (about $30), a heavy plastic ball-and-rope toy that he invented after watching his two boxers exhaust themselves with a bowling ball they found in his front yard. When filled with water Tuggo weighs 20 pounds, creating enough tension for a big dog to play tug of war with itself.

　　一位來自那什維爾(Nashville)的創(chuàng)業(yè)者亞當(dāng)·哈林頓(Adam Harrington)炫耀了他的Tuggo(大約30美元[約合人民幣186元])。這是一只沉甸甸的繩與塑料球構(gòu)成的玩具。當(dāng)他看到自己的兩條拳師犬?dāng)[弄一個在前院找到的保齡球，玩得筋疲力盡后，就發(fā)明了這件玩具。Tuggo內(nèi)灌滿水后重達20磅(約9公斤)，足夠一只大狗在自娛自樂的拔河游戲上花些力氣。

　　Mr. Harrington, who said he has a thriving business selling returns from eBay, already has 1,000 orders for his Tuggo. And “Shark Tank,” the reality television show that matches investors and entrepreneurs, had called. He was nearly vibrating with excitement.

　　哈林頓自稱在eBay上的生意做得很紅火，目前已經(jīng)拿到了1000份Tuggo訂單。而且，“鯊魚箱”(Shark Tank)這個把創(chuàng)業(yè)者介紹給投資方的真人秀節(jié)目也給他打了電話。所以他最近一直處于興奮狀態(tài)。

　　Past the Brush Your Teeth Wipes (about $9) from Pet Head were the nifty Slo-Bowls (about $25 each), brightly colored hard-plastic food dishes shaped like mazes and labyrinths to stop dogs from inhaling their food, from Kyjen, a maker of dog games. “Live fast, eat slow” is the company’s slogan; bloat, the website claims, accounts for 20,000 dog deaths every year.

　　走過Pet Head開發(fā)的刷牙紙巾(Brush Your Teeth Wipes)(大約9美元[約合人民幣56元])展臺，就可以看見許多外觀別致的“慢食碗”(Slo-Bowl，每只大約25美元[約合人民幣155 元])，這是一些色彩艷麗的硬塑料食盆，內(nèi)部形狀像個迷宮，可以防止狗兒進食太快而被噎住。該產(chǎn)品來自一家寵物狗游戲產(chǎn)品制造商Kyjen，他們的口號是 “快速生活，緩慢進食”。據(jù)該網(wǎng)站稱，每年會有2萬條狗死于胃脹氣。

　　Jennifer Vandermeer of Kyjen said: “All of our products are boredom-busters. We call the Slo-Bowl a game because dogs are really playing with their food.”

　　Kyjen公司的詹妮弗·范德米爾(Jennifer Vandermeer)說：“我們的所有產(chǎn)品都具有破除單調(diào)感的設(shè)計。我們稱‘慢食碗’為一個游戲，因為狗兒們真的在一邊吃一邊玩。”

　　For truly anxious dogs, there is the Kong Anxiety-Reducing Shirt (about $35), an iteration of the ThunderShirt, a product made by another company a few years ago. Like the hug machine that Temple Grandin, the autistic scientist, invented for herself when she was a child, these shirts soothe dogs with gentle pressure, said Anna Jane Grossman, owner of School for the Dogs, a training program in Manhattan, whom I phoned after the show.

　　而Kong Anxiety-Reducing Shirt(大約35美元[約合人民幣217元])則是為一些真正焦躁不安的狗兒設(shè)計的。該產(chǎn)品是幾年前另一家公司制造的安定背心 (ThunderShirt)的替代品。正如自閉癥專家坦普爾·葛蘭汀(Temple Grandin)小時候為自己發(fā)明的擁抱器一樣，這件上衣可以用輕微的壓力來緩解狗兒的情緒，曼哈頓一個培訓(xùn)項目“寵物狗學(xué)堂”(School for the Dogs)的主辦者安娜·簡·格羅斯曼(Anna Jane Grossman)說。我在參展之后撥通了她的電話。

　　“It’s like swaddling, and they are in the category of what I call, ‘Can’t hurt, might help,’ ” Ms. Grossman said. “Particularly for dogs who are afraid of thunder. Maybe it’s the change in barometric pressure, or the static in the air. You could use an Ace bandage, or any tight shirt.”

　　“這件上衣就像襁褓一樣，我將其列為‘沒有傷害、或許有用’的一類物品，”格羅斯曼說，“那些害怕打雷的狗尤其適用?；蛟S是因為大氣壓的變化吧，也可能因為空氣中的靜電。你也可以用一張愛司繃帶(Ace bandage)或隨便一件緊身衣。”

　　The Kong shirt is made from a stretchy black fabric and comes with a lavender sachet, in six sizes, from teacup to Rottweiler.

　　這件Kong上衣用可以拉伸的黑色布料做成，帶有一個薰衣草香囊，分為6個尺寸，從茶杯貴賓犬(teacup)到羅特韋爾犬(Rottweiler)都可以穿。

　　Paw Pods also come in six sizes, from goldfish (about $10) to ones that will fit a full-size dog ($129). The pods are biodegradable burial containers thought up by Ben Riggan, who was horrified, he said, to receive the remains of his two springer spaniels in cadaver bags.

　　“寵物豆莢”(Paw Pods)也可以分為6個尺寸，最小的是裝金魚的(大約10美元[約合人民幣62元])，最大的可以裝下一條成年狗(大約129美元[約合人民幣801 元])。這些“豆莢”是一種可以生物降解的殯葬箱，由本·里根(Ben Riggan)設(shè)計。他說，當(dāng)他拿到裝著自己兩條史賓格犬遺體的尸體袋時，被嚇了一跳。

　　He was equally horrified when he researched more-dignified containers, like wooden pet coffins that can cost hundreds of dollars.

　　他又調(diào)研了其它較為體面的容器，同樣被嚇了一跳。比如木制的寵物棺槨，可能要花費數(shù)百美元。

　　“We’re in Detroit,” he said. “We want to be the poster child for the thrifty pet burial.”

　　“我們在底特律，”他說，“想要引領(lǐng)潮流，辦個簡樸的寵物葬禮。”

　　Pods come with sympathy cards and wildflower seeds you can plant as a living memorial. Since fish are often a child’s first pet, Mr. Riggan said, “the fish pods are also a great way to teach your kids about death and grieving.”

　　與“豆莢”配套銷售的還有慰問卡和野花種子。你可以將它們種下，作為活的紀(jì)念。既然魚類往往是一個孩子飼養(yǎng)的第一種寵物，里根說，“那么金魚豆莢也是一種非常好的途徑，教你的孩子如何認(rèn)識死亡和悲傷。”

　　As opposed to the old heave-ho in the toilet and the speedy purchase of a replacement fish, long a tradition in this reporter’s family, which neatly avoids the teachable moment with a dodge?

　　難道不是像本文記者家中的悠久傳統(tǒng)那樣，在洗手間里與那條舊魚恩斷義絕，然后迅速買一條新的來替代，并用躲閃的態(tài)度徹底回避掉一個教育孩子的好時機嗎?

　　“We call that a burial at sea,” Mr. Riggan said.

　　“我們稱之為海葬，”里根說。

　　We stopped short, gape-mouthed, at the booth of Corey Drew, a furniture designer in Savannah, Ga. There was a louche black-leather lounger topped with a sheepskin and a sleek metal, bamboo and Ultrasuede daybed with an orthopedic cushion (about $170 each). Here was the Design Within Reach of pet furniture; note the sisal-and-bamboo cat scratcher ($149) and the acacia-wood-and-stainless-steel pet bowls ($39 for a set of two).

　　我們停下腳步、張大嘴巴，站在了來自佐治亞州薩凡納市(Savannah, Ga)一位家具設(shè)計師科里·德魯(Corey Drew)的展位前。這里有一張不太有品味的黑色皮沙發(fā)，頂部包著一塊羊皮，另有一張帶光滑金屬質(zhì)感、包著人造麂皮的竹制躺椅，椅子上有個帶矯正形體功能的墊子(每件大約170美元[約合人民幣1056元])。這里是Design Within Reach品牌的寵物家具，能看到一個用西沙爾麻(sisal)與竹子制作的貓抓板(149美元[約合人民幣926元])，以及用皂莢木和不銹鋼做的寵物食盆(兩件套共39美元[約合人民幣242元])。

　　But despite our effusive compliments and the attentions of a representative from Amazon Canada, Mr. Drew was fretting. His booth’s design materials — made from white plastic and laminate, as in a high-end nightclub or Kubrick’s Milk Bar — had been fabricated in South Florida and trucked to the show. Or that was the plan. Mr. Drew said the truck had been pulled over for speeding and the driver arrested on drug charges. He would have to collect his materials from the evidence room, he said he was told by the police.

　　不過，盡管我們極盡溢美之詞，甚至引起了加拿大亞馬遜公司一位代表的濃厚興趣，德魯還是一副垂頭喪氣的樣子。他的展臺設(shè)計材料以白色塑料與層壓材料制成——與高級俱樂部或庫布里克乳品店(Kubrick’s Milk Bar)里用的一樣，原本是在南弗羅里達州拼裝，并用貨車運往這個展會的。反正計劃是這樣。但德魯說，這輛貨車因為超速行駛被攔停在路邊，貨車司機受到私藏毒品的指控而被捕。他說收到了警察的通知，得從物證室取回自己那些物料。

　　“I’ll look legitimate tomorrow,” he said. “Today I look like a flea market.”

　　“我這里明天看起來會正規(guī)很多，”他說，“而今天看上去就像個跳蚤市場。”

　　This reporter would beg to differ, but an Anxiety Reducing Shirt would seem to be in order.

　　雖然本文記者對此仍持保留意見，但這個時候，來件安定背心似乎挺合適。