托福寫作提升用詞質(zhì)量水平改寫實例分析
1.Original: We know that sometimes success is measured by how much money you earn.
Revised: It does not surprise us to discover that sometimes success is measured in terms of the money you earn.
點評:know是非常初級的詞匯,作文中出現(xiàn)I believe that,I know that這樣的表達(dá)只能體現(xiàn)考生寫作技巧的稚嫩,用It does not surprise us to discover that替換We know that并沒有改變原句的含義,卻使全句頓時增添了亮點。
2.Original: We all know that most factories would be of no use if there were not clean water supply.
Revised: It goes without saying that most factories would be of no use if there were not clean water supply.
托福寫作點評:同上例一樣,know這樣的初級詞匯應(yīng)避免在作文中使用,It goes without saying that是一個固定結(jié)構(gòu),意思是"是不言而喻的",常在作文中用來引經(jīng)據(jù)典或表明一個盡人皆知的道理,類似的表達(dá)還有:
An old saying goes that
Proverb goes that
It is universally acknowledged that
It is generally accepted that
3.Original: Some other people think that people should read extensively.
Revised: Another position says that people should read extensively.
點評:同know一樣,think也應(yīng)該盡量避免使用,修改后的句子中是用Another position says that代替think提出另一種觀點,也可以用hold a point of view,hold the opinion這樣的短語替換。
4.Original: The unexpected win of the match give us confidence.
Revised: The unexpected win of the match boost our confidence.
點評:give也屬于英語中最初級、最基本的詞匯,也是中國學(xué)生最喜歡在托福獨立寫作中應(yīng)用的詞。這個詞只表示"給,給予"這個動作,不涉及動作的性質(zhì)和狀態(tài),若表示增添信心,增強士氣,比較地道的說法是用boost confidence/morale,如:The change of management has boosted morale throughout the company. 管理模式的改變使整個公司上下士氣倍受鼓舞。
5.Original: The use of drugs has increased greatly in the last ten years.
Revised: The use of drugs has increased significantly in the last ten years.
點評:greatly是一般用語,表示程度高,"很,非常",使用相當(dāng)普遍而沒有新意,在托福獨立寫作中應(yīng)盡量避免使用這些通俗而又陳舊的詞匯,應(yīng)換用一些更加正式,更有說服力的詞語,例如significantly表示達(dá)到了非常重要的或可觀的程度,"重大的,可觀的",能夠具體說明藥品使用方面,增長幅度巨大。significantly還可以替換成considerably,tremendously等,同樣具有不錯的表達(dá)效果。
相信通過上面的例句分析,大家對托福寫作詞匯中的低級詞匯都有了一定程度的了解,建議大家在托福作文備考時,還是要積累生活實例、多積累素材、經(jīng)典句型等,不要只是一種表述方式,一個單詞來回?fù)Q。通過豐富而多樣化的用詞提升文章質(zhì)量,這樣你的作文才能得到更高的評價。
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