禮節(jié)美語Unspoken Messages

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陳豪在北京的ABC美國(guó)公司工作。他跟美國(guó)同事Amy一起走出會(huì)議室。

(Office ambience)

C：Amy, 今天我第一次主持會(huì)議。你覺得怎么樣？

A：I thought you did well considering that you have not been in that position before.

C：可我自己覺得挺糟糕的。雖然來開會(huì)的人并沒說什么，但是我能感覺到，有好幾個(gè)人并不欣賞我的報(bào)告，或者是根本不感興趣。

A：What made you think that? Anyone in particular?

C：比如說吧，會(huì)開到一半的時(shí)候，Ken把筆記本一合，雙手抱臂，往椅子上一仰。

A：How did you feel when he did that?

C：我立刻很緊張，覺得他認(rèn)為我的發(fā)言很糟糕。

A：I noticed that, too. In fact it was pretty obvious to everyone.

C：你覺得他是故意這樣做的嗎？

A：Knowing Ken, I would say yes and I would add that he wanted to make sure you got the message.

C：如果他對(duì)我有什么意見，我寧可他告訴我。

A：What he did was use his body to send his message. It's a discourteous tactic that many people use in business to express their feelings without putting them in words.

C：你是說在商業(yè)界很多人都會(huì)用這種方式表達(dá)自己的看法，而不是直接把意見說出來，那又是為什么呢？

A：Sometimes people feel safer using body language to intimidate or humiliate others.

C：他們?yōu)槭裁磿?huì)覺得用肢體語言去羞辱別人更安全呢？

A：I am sorry, Chen Hao. Can we continue this later? I need to meet my boss in five minutes.

C：那你先忙。我們一會(huì)兒見。

******

當(dāng)天下午陳豪和Amy一起喝咖啡。

C：Amy, 你上午說有人更愿意用肢體語言表達(dá)自己的看法。這是為什么呢？

A：People can always refute or deny the meaning of their body language.

C：噢，如果有人事后指責(zé)他們表現(xiàn)消極，他們可以矢口否認(rèn)，說這是誤會(huì)。那所有人都是有意這樣做的嗎？

A：A lot of people aren't even aware of their body language. I think that it is often unintentional.

C：很多人都是無意的？你能舉個(gè)例子嗎？

A：Like Sue. Did you notice that she came to our meeting for the first time today?

C：我注意到了，Sue是第一次來參加會(huì)議，但是她坐在后面的角落里，從頭到尾一言不發(fā)。

A：I think she felt left out.

C：你為什么說Sue覺得自己被忽視了呢？

A：Because the two people closest to her kept moving their chairs with their backs turned more and more to her. I don't think it was intentional - they were just trying to see and hear better.

C：Sue 一定是誤會(huì)了，覺得別人不歡迎她。

A：That's right. So she withdrew as well.