請看這么一道題及其結尾:
V104 Wild animals have no place in the 21st century. Some people think that preventing these wild animals from dying out is a waste of resource. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
結尾1:
Someone said safeguard of wild animals is a waste of resource, but I do not agree. It seems we would spend some time, wealth and manpower on this meaningless thing. Actually we also do this for human being ourselves. let’s protect wild animals right now.
評:結尾第一句話,是對于考官給出的觀點的轉述,應放在文章開頭就出現(xiàn)。結尾不是申明中心句,而應是對全文觀點的總結。大作文要收的堅定有力,seems讓文章顯得說服力不足,meaningless跟全文觀點相孛。最后一句有喊口號的意味,不符合英語議論文的習慣,同樣的意思可改換客觀平實的文風收尾。
結尾2:
To sum up, we can not live without wild animals due to their profound effects on us. For this reason, we should try our best to protect them. Let’s remember one thing---- protecting wild animals is equivalent to protecting ourselves.
評:雙重否定表示強調,是英語議論文的常見手法,令結尾收的堅定有力。Profound effects深遠影響很好地呼應了文中提到過的野生動物保護的意義,令文章渾然一體。作者的觀點跟結尾1作者觀點完全一樣,但采用了平實的陳述口氣,并用了書面的地道詞匯,equivalent to ,是一個很不錯的結尾。
結尾3:
Certainly, our diet cannot be without meat. There are living stocks, which can provide us with sufficient and nutritious produce. Therefore, we need not to resort to wild animals, especially the endangered ones. To protect animals is to protect our living environment. Every individual should join efforts to keep the diversity of animals.
評:作者不僅會用否定句表達強調,還很及時地采用了讓步式的收尾,指出,人當然要吃肉,但有眾多家畜,不必殺戮野生動物,尤其是瀕危的物種。讓步式結尾讓文章顯的客觀公正,符合英語議論文的要求和習慣,總體很有說服力。再加上語言上同樣成功,地道的措辭,如,living stocks, sufficient and nutritious, resort to (訴諸于),endangered ones, join efforts, diversity 是一篇8分作文的經(jīng)典結尾。