考研英語(yǔ)作文考場(chǎng)范文批改及點(diǎn)評(píng)(14)

(文章直接描述圖畫(huà)內(nèi)容，不妥，可加一句圖畫(huà)類(lèi)作文的開(kāi)頭常用句，如As is vividly depicted in the picture,等)The black man, with a happy and delighted face(改為with a happiness of facial expression), is spending spring festival with a Chinese family. Conspicuously, it is a (改為an)encouraging scene relate to culture integration between China and west(可改為the west countries), which is a(改為an) excellent offspring of new century.Several factor(改為factors，several意為“幾個(gè)”，其后名詞應(yīng)用復(fù)數(shù)形式) weight heavily for this emerging trend illustrate(改為illustrated) in the picture, yet, two kernels suspended on the top of the list which should never be overlooked. To begin with, the Chinese economy has witnessed its unprecedented lever(改為level,unprecedented level表示“前所未有的水平") of growth in past 30 years, which give an powerful impetus to the publicity of Chinese civilization. What’s more, Chinese culture, though through perpetual wars and turbulence, preserve its vitality and glamour(改為its vitality and glamour are preserved), (加and its)assets appreciated by most foreigners. There are encouraging parallels today, as many westerners in one wave after another making their trip(改為trips) to China to get panorama of Chinese heritage.From my perspective, various measures should be made to foster this integration. Firstly, suitable atmosphere must be created, where our culture and its counterparts can co-exist in harmonious.,(注意標(biāo)點(diǎn)的正確使用)by us. Secondly, the authorities ought to lunch various publicity campaigns to make Chinese culture known to(加the) world. The cultural thrive has loomed, and the economic prosperity will not be far away.

編輯點(diǎn)評(píng)

整體來(lái)說(shuō)，文章寫(xiě)得不錯(cuò);但還存在個(gè)別簡(jiǎn)單的語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤。作者在寫(xiě)作完之后若可以花費(fèi)幾分鐘時(shí)間來(lái)回讀文章，便會(huì)減少不必要的錯(cuò)誤。考研作文的整體思路你已經(jīng)基本掌握，后面要做的就是多積累高分佳句，為自己的文章增彩;再者，寫(xiě)完之后一定要認(rèn)真檢查，減少失分點(diǎn)。

參考分?jǐn)?shù)：13分(滿(mǎn)分20分)