UNIT 2 AFTER-CLASS READING 3; New College English (I)
Comforting Thoughts
1 First I read about a study in Meriden, Connecticut, which indicated that talking to yourself is a perfectly good way of getting comfort during a difficult time. Then I saw an item about research at Yale demonstrating that stress seems to be reduced in some people by exposing them to the aromas of certain desserts. Then I started talking to myself about desserts with aromas I find soothing. Then I felt a lot better. Isn't science grand?
2 I didn't feel perfect. One thing that was bothering me was that the ten most popular methods of comforting yourself listed in the Meriden study didn't mention sniffing desserts, even though Yale, where all the sniffing research was going on, is only about twenty miles down the road. Does this mean that some of these scientists are so busy talking to themselves that they don't talk to each other? It got me so upset that I went to the back door of a baker in our neighborhood to sniff the aroma of chocolate chip cookies. I was talking to myself the whole time, of course.
3 "What the Yale people think," I said to myself, "is that a person is soothed by the smell of, say, chocolate chip cookies because it brings back pleasant memories, like the memory of his mother baking chocolate chip cookies."
4 "What if his mother always burned the chocolate chip cookies?" I replied.
5 "Are you talking about my mother?"
6 "Whose mother do you think I'm talking about?" I said. "We're the only ones here."
7 "Were those cookies burnt?"
8 "What do you think all that black stuff was?"
9 "I thought that was the chocolate chips."
10 "No, she always forgot the chocolate chips."
11 I wasn't finding the conversation very comforting at all. I don't like to hear anyone make light of my mother's chocolate chip cookies, even me. I must have raised my voice, because the next thing I knew, the baker had come out to see what was going on.
12 Even though the Meriden study had shown that being with someone else was the most comforting thing of all it finished ahead of listening to music and even watching TV I saw right away that being with the baker wasn't going to be much more comforting than talking to myself. He said, "Are you crazy?"
13 I told him that I was engaging in two therapies that had been scientifically proven effective: sniffing chocolate chip cookies and talking to myself. He told me that I owed him two dollars and fifty cents. "For sniffing, we charge a buck and a -quarter a dozen." he explained.
14 "How do you know I sniffed two dozen?" I asked.
15 "I just know it." he said.
16 I told him that according to the research done at Yale, certain odors caused the brain to produce alpha waves, which are associated with relaxation. I told him that in my case the odor of chocolate chip cookies particularly slightly burnt chocolate chip cookies was such an odor. I told him that he ought to be proud to confirm the scientific research done at one of the great universities of the English-speaking world. That alone, I told him, ought to be payment enough for whatever small part of the aroma of his chocolate chip cookies I had used up with my sniffing.
17 He thought about it for a moment. Then he said, "Take a walk, buddy."
18 I was happy to. As it happens, going for a walk finished tenth in the Meriden study, just behind recalling pleasant memories. Naturally, I talked to myself on the way.
19 "Maybe I can find some place to smell what the Yale people call 'spiced apple'," I said to myself. "They found that the smell of spiced apple is so effective that with some people it can stop panic attacks.
20 "But I don't know what spiced apple smells like," I replied. "Spiced with what?"
21 That was bothering me enough that my walk wasn't actually very soothing. I thought about bolstering it with some of the other activities on the list, but reading or watching TV seemed impractical. Prayer was also on the list, but praying for the aroma of spiced apple seemed ridiculous.
22 I walked faster and faster. It occurred to me that I might be getting a panic attack. Desperately I tried to recall some pleasant memories. I recalled the time before I knew about the Meriden list, when I talked to myself only in private. I recalled the time before I knew about the Yale research and didn't have to worry about finding any spiced apple. Then I felt a lot better. I didn't feel perfect, but you can't always feel perfect.