I Love My Mom, But....
我愛(ài)媽媽,但……
I love my mom. But it would be hard to deny that I have been somewhat relieved to have
2,000 miles between us since she moved back to Mississippi.
我愛(ài)媽媽。但不可否認(rèn),自從她搬回密西西比州去住,我們之間這 2000 英里的距離確實(shí)讓我
松了口氣。
My mother is the bipolar product of an anxious Japanese woman and a stereotypical
Southern man. Raised in the South, she was a teenage hippie, minus the politics and plus a
country-club membership. She and my dad (the product of a talented salesman and an
immaculated housewife) moved from Mississippi to Hollywood in the ‘70s so he could
become a professional musician.
我的媽媽有著雙重性格,她既像一個(gè)熱情奔放的日本女子,又像一個(gè)古板保守的南方男人。
她在南方長(zhǎng)大,青年時(shí)期她是一個(gè)嬉皮士,政治是減數(shù),鄉(xiāng)村俱樂(lè)部的會(huì)員資格是加數(shù)。她
和我爸爸(一個(gè)才華橫溢的推銷員和完美主婦二者相加的產(chǎn)物)在 70年代便從密西西比搬到
了好萊塢,這樣做是為了讓他成為一名專業(yè)音樂(lè)人。
In sixth grade, my dad announced their separation and divorce. It wasn’t especially
surprising, but I cried, and then thought that living in two places might be fun.
我在上六年級(jí)的時(shí)候,爸爸便宣告與媽媽分居、離婚。雖然這不算特別意外,但我還是哭了,
而后又想到在兩個(gè)地方生活也許頗為有趣。
Through the years, my mom has taught me many things, not so much through her words,
but through her actions. I remember watching her bake cheesecakes, hem skirts, efficiently
manage departments at Macy’s and stand up for her children.
許多年過(guò)去了,媽媽教會(huì)了我許多東西,但大多不是用言傳,而是身教。我記得看著她烤牛
乳餅,給衣裙縫邊,高效率地管理梅西商場(chǎng)的各個(gè)部門以及站出來(lái)為她的孩子辯護(hù)。
But I also remember my mother twisting words so she’d appear in a more favorable light,
spending money she didn’t have, choosing “friends” she correctly believed she was above,
and investing in weak pride because she lacked confidence in her skills, talents and future.
但我同樣記得媽媽也曾用曲解言辭的做法來(lái)使自己的形象更加光彩,也曾揮霍原本不屬于自
己的錢,也曾結(jié)交那些她自認(rèn)為,也確實(shí)沒(méi)有她高明的人為朋友,也曾因?yàn)閷?duì)自身能力、天
賦以及未來(lái)缺乏信心而去做不當(dāng)?shù)耐顿Y。
I remember my mother doing all these things, and I remember my dad explaining her
childhood and early adulthood: her emotional abuse, her drug abuse, her promiscuity and
her avoidance of therapy and help. I remember my dad reassuring me that I wouldn’t “be like
my mother”, but I knew that before he said it. I enjoy life, its belessings and challenges, I am
thankful for my abilities, and for the people in life who help where I am weak.
我能記得媽媽做過(guò)的所有一切,也能記得爸爸如何為她的童年以及成年初期來(lái)解釋:她亂發(fā)
脾氣、吸毒、亂性、抗拒治療和幫助。記得父親曾向我保證我不會(huì)“變成媽媽那個(gè)樣子”,不過(guò)
這一點(diǎn)在這以前我早就清楚——我熱愛(ài)生活,熱愛(ài)生活的美好和坎坷,我為自己擁有的能力
而心存感激,同時(shí)我感謝生活中那些幫助我進(jìn)步的人們。
And I realize that the most I share with my mom is a knack for making cheesecake, a talent
for taking the wrong exits on freeways, gratitude for our time spent reading and playing
together, and thankfulness for an always mutual love.
我還知道我和媽媽最大的共同處就是:會(huì)做很好吃的牛乳餅,在高速公路上總是走錯(cuò)出口,
對(duì)我們?cè)谝黄鹂磿?shū)和玩耍而心存感激以及對(duì)我們擁有對(duì)彼此永恒的愛(ài)心而感恩不已。
I love mom: that’s never been hard, though it’s certainly been a struggle to respect the
woman who made so many faulty decisions that led to a nearly hopeless life. It’s still a
struggle to think of my mother and not cry for her, and want her to enjoy life.
我愛(ài)媽媽,愛(ài)她從來(lái)不是一件難事,盡管要尊重一個(gè)因?yàn)樽龀鲞^(guò)多錯(cuò)誤決定而幾乎招致生活
無(wú)望的女人是得經(jīng)過(guò)一番努力。而要在想到媽媽時(shí)不會(huì)為她哭泣,期盼她生活順心,也要費(fèi)
很大工夫。
And because of these things it’s tempting to think life is unkind, but stronger than that
temptation is the knowledge that my parents have always, and will always, love ,cherish,
support, and in two very different ways, teach their children what they can. Because of this, I know I’m tremendously fortunate.
想到這些,我會(huì)很容易覺(jué)得生活并不美好,而這時(shí)另一種感受會(huì)比這更加強(qiáng)烈,那就是:我
的父母一直、永遠(yuǎn)都在寵愛(ài)、珍視、支持以及用兩種截然不同的方式盡其所能地教育著他們
的孩子。正因如此,我知道,我幸運(yùn)極了!