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英語(yǔ)沙龍十年合集珍藏版第三輯Hungry for Your Love

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Hungry for Your Love

It is cold, so bitter cold on this dark winter day in1942. But it is no different from any other day in this Nazi concentration camp. I am almost dead, surviving from day to day, from hour to hour, ever since I was taken from my home and brought here with tens of thousands of other Jews. Will I still be alive tomorrow？Will I be taken to the gas chamber¹⁾ tonight？

Back and forth next to the barbed wire fence trying to keep my emaciated²⁾ body warm. I am hungry but I have been hungry for longer than I want to remember. I am always hungry. Edible³⁾ food seems like a dream. Each day, as more of us disappear, the hungry past seems like a mere dream, and I sink deeper and deeper into despair.

Suddenly, I notice a young girl walking past on the other side of the barbed wire. She stops and looks at me with sad eyes that seems to say that she understands, that she too cannot fathom⁴⁾ why I am here. I want to look away, oddly⁵^） ashamed for this stranger to see me like this, but I cannot tear my eyes from hers.

Then she reaches into her pocket, and pulls out a red apple. Oh, how long has it been since I have seen one.She looks cautiously to the left and to the right and then with smile of triumph quickly throws the apple over the fence. I run to pick it up, holding it in my trembling frozen fingers. In my world of death this apple is an expression of life, of love. I glance up in time to see the girl disappearing into the distance.

The next day I cannot help myself--I am drawn at the same time to that spot near the fence.

And again she comes. And again she brings me an apple flinging it over the fence with that same sweet smile.

This time I catch it and hold it up for her to see. Her eyes twinkle.

For seven months we meet like this. Sometimes we exchange a few words. Sometimes just an apple. One day I hear frightening news：we‘re being shipped to another camp.

The next day when I greet her my heart is breaking and I can barely speak as I say what must be said：“Don’ t bring me an apple tomorrow. ”I tell her. “I am being sent to another camp. ”Turning before I lose all my control I run away from the fence. I cannot bear to look back.

Months pass and the nightmare⁶⁾ continues. But the memory of this girl sustains⁷⁾ me through the terror, the pain, the hopelessness. Over and over in my mind, I see her face, her kind eyes, I hear her gentle words, I taste those apples.

And then one day just like that the nightmare is over. The war has ended. Those of us who are still alive are freed. I have lost everything that was precious to me including my family. But I still have the memory of this girl, a memory I carry in my heart and gives me the will to go on as I move to America to start a new life.

Years pass. It is 1957. I am living in New York City. A friend convinces me to go on a blind date with a lady of his. Reluctantly, I agree. But she is nice, this woman named Roma, and like me she is an immigrant so we have at least that in common.

“Where were you during the war？”Roma asks me gently in that delicate way immigrants ask one another questions about those years.

“I was in a concentration camp in Germany, ”I reply.

Roma gets a faraway look in her eyes, as if she is remembering something painful yet sweet.

“What is it？”I ask.

“I am just thinking about something from my past, Herman, ”Roma explains in a voice suddenly very soft. “You see, when I was a young girl I lived near a concentration camp. There was a boy there, a prisoner and for a long while I used to visit him every day. I remember I used to bring him apples. I would throw the apple over the fence and he would be so happy. ”

Roma sighs heavily and continues, “It is hard to describe how we felt about each other--after all we were young and we only exchanged a few words when we could--but I can tell you there was much love there. I assume he was killed like so many others. But I cannot bear to think that, and so I try to remember him as he was for those months we were given together. ”

With my heart pounding so loudly, I look directly at Roma and ask, “And did that boy say to you one day‘Do not bring me an apple tomorrow. I am being sent to another camp ’？”

“Why yes, ”Roma responds her voice trembling.

“But Herman, how on earth could you possibly know that？”

I take her hands in mine and answer, “Because I was that young boy, Roma. ”

For many moments, there is only silence. We can not take our eyes from each other, and as the veils of time lift, we recognize the soul behind the eyes, the dear friend we once love so much, whom we have never stopped loving, whom we have never stopped remembering.

Finally, I speak：“Look, Roma, I was separated from you once, and I don’ t ever want to be separated from you again. Now I am free, and I wan t to be together with you forever. Dear will you marry me？”

I see the same twinkle in her eyes that I used to see as Roma says, “Yes I will marry you. ”

Almost forty years have passed since that day when I found my Roma again. Destiny brought us together the first time during the war to show me a promise of hope, and now it had reunited us to fulfill that promise.

Valentine’s Day 1996. I bring Roma to the Oprah Winfrey Show to honor her on national television. I want to tell her in front of the millions of the people what I feel in my heart every day：

“Darling you feed me in the concentration camp when I was hungry. And I am still hungry, for something I will never get enough of：I am only hungry for your love. ”

□by Herman and Roma Rosenblat

渴望得到你的愛(ài)

１９４２年黑暗冬季的一天, 天氣格外寒冷。但在納粹集中營(yíng)內(nèi)這與別的日子并無(wú)什么差別。自從把我從家中帶走并隨著其他數(shù)以萬(wàn)計(jì)的猶太人被帶到這兒以來(lái), 我已瀕臨死亡, 只能活一天算一天, 活一小時(shí)算一小時(shí)。明天我還會(huì)活著嗎？今晚我會(huì)不會(huì)被帶到毒氣室去？

我沿著鐵絲網(wǎng)來(lái)回走, 想暖和一下我瘦弱的身體。我很餓, 餓得太久了, 我都不想去記有多長(zhǎng)時(shí)間了。我總是很餓。可吃的食物就像個(gè)夢(mèng)。每天隨著我們中更多人的消失, 這種饑餓也只不過(guò)是一場(chǎng)夢(mèng)而已, 我也一天天地深陷絕望之中。

突然, 我看到一個(gè)小女孩從鐵絲網(wǎng)那邊走來(lái)。她停了下來(lái)并用憂傷的眼睛看著我, 好像在說(shuō)她理解我的感受, 但也不明白我為什么會(huì)在這兒。我想把目光挪開(kāi), 被一個(gè)陌生人這樣打量, 我感到特別害臊, 但我的眼睛無(wú)法從她身上移開(kāi)。

這時(shí)她把手伸進(jìn)口袋, 掏出一個(gè)紅蘋果。噢, 我有多久沒(méi)看到這樣的蘋果了！她非常謹(jǐn)慎地左右看看, 然后帶著勝利的微笑, 一下子把它拋過(guò)鐵柵欄。我跑過(guò)去把它撿起來(lái), 用我顫抖著的凍僵的手捧著它。在這充滿死亡的世界中, 這蘋果無(wú)疑表達(dá)的是生和愛(ài)。我抬頭瞥見(jiàn)那女孩在遠(yuǎn)處消失。

第二天, 我無(wú)法控制自己, 鬼使神差地在同一時(shí)間又來(lái)到靠近鐵絲網(wǎng)的同一地點(diǎn)。

她真地又來(lái)了。她又一次給我?guī)?lái)了蘋果, 并且?guī)е瑯拥奶鹈畚⑿Π阉鼟佭^(guò)了鐵絲網(wǎng)柵欄。

這次我接住了它, 并且捧著讓她看。她朝我眨眨眼。

接下來(lái)的７個(gè)月我們就這樣相會(huì)。有時(shí)我們相互交談幾句。有時(shí)她只是給我送個(gè)蘋果。一天, 我聽(tīng)到了一個(gè)駭人的消息：我們將被押往另外一個(gè)集中營(yíng)。

第二天, 當(dāng)我向她問(wèn)候時(shí)我的心都要碎了, 我勉強(qiáng)對(duì)她說(shuō)了如下我必須要說(shuō)的話：“明天別再給我蘋果了。”我告訴她說(shuō), “我將被押往另外一個(gè)集中營(yíng)。”在我完全失去控制前我轉(zhuǎn)身從柵欄旁跑開(kāi)了。我實(shí)在不忍心再回頭看。

一晃過(guò)了數(shù)月, 噩夢(mèng)依然在持續(xù)。但對(duì)這小姑娘的回憶支撐著我度過(guò)了那恐怖、痛苦和失望的歲月。在我的腦海中, 我一次又一次地看到她的面容, 她那雙善良的眼睛, 聽(tīng)到她溫柔的話語(yǔ), 品嘗那些蘋果。

噩夢(mèng)終有終結(jié)的一天。戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)結(jié)束了。我們這些幸存下來(lái)的人得到了自由。我已失去了包括我的家庭在內(nèi)的所有珍貴的東西。但我仍然記著這位小姑娘, 這記憶一直留在我的心底, 并在我移居美國(guó)后依然激勵(lì)著我好好地生活下去。

歲月流逝。轉(zhuǎn)眼到了1957年。我住在紐約。我的一個(gè)朋友勸說(shuō)我和他的一個(gè)女朋友進(jìn)行初次約會(huì)。我勉強(qiáng)答應(yīng)下來(lái)。她人還不錯(cuò), 叫羅瑪, 像我一樣, 她也是移民, 因此至少在這一點(diǎn)上我們存在著共同點(diǎn)。

“戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)期間你在哪兒？”羅瑪用移民相互之間問(wèn)及那段歲月所特有的體貼方式柔聲細(xì)語(yǔ)地問(wèn)道。

“我在德國(guó)的集中營(yíng)里, ”我答道。

羅瑪陷入了遐想之中, 好像回憶起了某件痛苦而又甜蜜的事情。

“你怎么了？”我問(wèn)她。

“我只是在想我過(guò)去的一些事情, 赫爾曼。”羅瑪用一種突然變得輕柔的語(yǔ)氣解釋道。“你知道, 我小的時(shí)候住在集中營(yíng)附近。那兒有一個(gè)男孩, 一個(gè)小囚犯, 有很長(zhǎng)一段時(shí)間我每天都去看他。我記得我常常給他帶去蘋果。我經(jīng)常把蘋果從鐵絲網(wǎng)上扔過(guò)去, 那時(shí)他是多么開(kāi)心。”

羅瑪重重地嘆了一口氣接著又說(shuō)道：“很難描述當(dāng)時(shí)我們對(duì)彼此的感覺(jué)--畢竟我們那時(shí)還很小, 情況允許時(shí)我們也只是相互談上幾句--但我可以告訴你, 這其中包含著很多愛(ài)。我猜他可能像許多其他人一樣被殺掉了。但我實(shí)在不忍心這么想, 所以我老想著我們?cè)谝黄鹣嗵幍哪菐讉€(gè)月里他的樣子。”

我的心猛地一下子劇烈地跳動(dòng)起來(lái)。我凝視著她問(wèn), “是不是那男孩有一天對(duì)你說(shuō)‘明天別給我?guī)O果了。我將被押往另外一個(gè)集中營(yíng)。’？”

“哎, 是啊, ”羅瑪以顫抖的嗓音應(yīng)道。

“但是赫爾曼, 你怎么會(huì)知道這事的？”

我握著她的手答道, “因?yàn)槲揖褪悄莻€(gè)小男孩, 羅瑪。”

接下來(lái)便是長(zhǎng)時(shí)間的靜默。隨著時(shí)間面紗的揭開(kāi), 我們?cè)僖矝](méi)能把眼睛從對(duì)方身上挪開(kāi), 我們認(rèn)出了隱藏于眼光后的那顆心, 我們?cè)巧钌類?ài)戀的朋友, 我們從未停止過(guò)愛(ài)戀, 我們從未停止思念對(duì)方。

最后, 我說(shuō), “這樣, 羅瑪, 我與你分離過(guò)一次, 但我再也不想與你分離了。如今我獲得了自由, 我希望永遠(yuǎn)與你呆在一起。親愛(ài)的, 嫁給我好嗎？”