英語沙龍十年合集珍藏版第三輯Lucky Number
Lucky Number
My last ten dollars．．．which number．．．which number，I agonized．The croupier1) spun the wheel．There was a large crowd．A lot of money riding on number seven．Should I go with it？It had always been our lucky number，and maybe it would be lucky again，just one more time．We'd met on the seventh，married on the seventh，and both our birthdays were on the seventh．Then again，I'd been losing on seven all night．I put my money on eight．
It hadn't been a good evening．I had entered the casino2) with a sense of foreboding3) which deepened during the night，as I gambled away my meager savings．It was the first time I'd been back after the disaster of １９９３，when I'd lost Estelle's money as well as my own．Worse than that，I lost her respect．That was a big lesson for me to learn．Money could be lost and won easily．The respect of your beloved could be lost easily，but was not easily won back．
I thought she would leave me．I begged her to stay．I pleaded with her．I threw myself on her mercy．I made promises－－big promises．She stayed．I kept my promises．I stayed away from the racecourse4)．I handed her my salary，which she handled very well．I was pleasantly surprised at how well you could live on a modest wage when you didn't waste it gambling．
I thought I was cured．Estelle never referred to that night，but she had never forgotten it either and I could feel its presence，like a small dark cloud on the horizon of our otherwise sunny existence．So why was I here？I wouldn't have been，unless it was absolutely necessary．believe me．The simple fact was that I had crashed Estelle's car that morning．It was extensively damaged．A not so simple fact was that Estelle's car was not just any old car－－it was a beautiful yellow MGB that had belonged to her father．She never allowed me to drive it．I wanted to impress a client and had foolishly seized the opportunity to “borrow” it while she was out of town for the day．Everything would have been fine but for the lamp post that I ran into on my way home．Another not so simple fact was that at the moment of impact I suddenly remembered that I hadn't posted off the insurance premium due last week．It was still in my briefcase5)．The small dark cloud was rapidly becoming a black thunderhead，flickering with lightning．My only resource was a couple of hundred dollars I'd saved by skipping lunches and cutting down on smokes．A man should always have a little something in reserve，for a rainy day，like today．I really had no alternative．I took the money，gritted my teeth6)，said a prayer，and headed for the casino．I soon found that my luck had not deserted me －－my bad luck，that is．You'd think that after an absence of almost three years I would be due some beginner's luck．But no sirree7)．Everywhere I turned，everything I tried，I lost．
And here we were，playing with my last ten dollars．The last throw of the dice．I looked up from the spinning roulette wheel and caught the croupier's stony gaze．I watched him as he scanned the eager crowd．His eyes met mine and there was a hint of contempt in the smile．How many fortunes had he seen won and lost at his table？How many lives ruined？“Yes，mate，”I felt like saying，“here's another sucker whose entire life depends on the throw of a dice8)．”I understood his contempt．In the last three years I had watched others go down the road I had shunned．I saw their glee turn to despair．I saw the desperation in their demeanour9) as they slunk into the den of iniquity．I shuddered to think that I had been one of them．Estelle had saved me and I stood proudly invincible，untouched by triumph or tragedy．
Until today．No wonder the croupier had contempt for me．I had contempt for myself．I dropped my gaze．The roulette was still spinning crazily，as if it was never going to stop．A hundred eyes focused on it．It started to slow．The crowd pressed forward．The man beside me squared his shoulders and seemed to hold his breath．Further along the table I could see a woman's hand clenched into a white－knuckled fist．Something，perhaps the woman's wristwatch，reminded me of Estelle，and I turned away in shame．I promised myself that win or lose，I would never return．Never a gain would I compromise the purity of our relationship．
When the croupier's voice announced the winning number my stomach sank．It was seven．All was lost．A woman squealed in delight，so like my own dear Estelle that it stabbed me to the heart．I saw the previously white－knuckled fist jab the air in joyous victory．The movement was so sudden，almost violent，that the wristwatch clasp broke and the watch sailed into the air，landing on the plush carpet，not far from my feet．All eyes，however，were on the woman．She had flung herself into the arms of her ostentatiously10) wealthy male companion，squawking in an unnatural high pitched voice，“Ken．Ken．We've done it．We've won．”She began to laugh uncontrollably．She hooted．She cackled，screeched and whooped．She slapped her thigh．She danced a jig．The crowd watched in envious amusement．But I was not amused．I didn't need to pick up the watch to know that it was in scribed “To Estelle from her grateful husband．”
□by Pieter Koster
幸運(yùn)數(shù)字
還剩最后１０美元……壓哪個(gè)數(shù)字……哪個(gè)呢？我感到極度的痛苦。賭場(chǎng)總管轉(zhuǎn)動(dòng)著賭盤。一大群人圍在前面。數(shù)字７上擺了許多錢。我應(yīng)該試試它嗎？７一直是我們的幸運(yùn)數(shù)字，或許這次能再次應(yīng)驗(yàn)，就這一次了。我們?cè)冢啡障嘤觯冢啡战Y(jié)婚，并且我們兩人的生日都在７日。然而，整個(gè)晚上我都因投７而失了手。所以這一次我把錢壓在了數(shù)字８上。
這一晚上我可真不順。一來到賭場(chǎng)我就有一種預(yù)感，隨著手頭上本不充裕的錢越賭越少，這個(gè)預(yù)感則變得愈來愈強(qiáng)烈。此次舊地重游是我災(zāi)難的１９９３年后的第一次。那一年，我輸?shù)袅税Ｋ固貭柕腻X和我所有的錢。更糟的是，我失去了她對(duì)我的尊敬。這是我有生以來最大的一次教訓(xùn)。錢財(cái)易失也易得，但你所愛的人對(duì)你的尊敬卻易失難得。
我想她會(huì)離我而去。我于是懇求她留下。我真是求她了。我乞求她能夠憐憫我并在她面前對(duì)天起了誓。她留下了。我則信守諾言。對(duì)賽馬場(chǎng)我敬而遠(yuǎn)之。我將工資交給她，她管理得有條不紊。當(dāng)看到不再把錢浪費(fèi)在賭博上，而靠微薄的工資也能很好地生活時(shí)，我感到了一絲快樂的驚喜。
我認(rèn)為我的惡習(xí)已經(jīng)得到根治。埃斯特爾從未再提及那天夜里發(fā)生的事情，但是她也始終沒有忘卻。我能感受到這一點(diǎn)，就像在我們燦爛的陽光中總有一小片黑云似的。那么我又為什么來到這里呢？請(qǐng)相信我，若不是不得不來的話，我本是不該在這里出現(xiàn)的。簡(jiǎn)單的事實(shí)是，那天早晨我把埃斯特爾的汽車撞壞了，而且撞得很厲害。但另一個(gè)并不那么簡(jiǎn)單的事實(shí)是，埃斯特爾的車不是輛普普通通的舊車，而是本來屬于她父親的一輛漂亮的黃色MGB。她從不允許我開這輛車。而我卻為了在一位客戶前擺闊，竟趁她今天不在“借來一用”。要不是在回家的路上我撞在了那盞路燈柱上，一切本來都很順利。另一個(gè)并不那么簡(jiǎn)單的事實(shí)是，在那撞擊的一瞬間，我突然記起，上星期保險(xiǎn)到期，我卻還沒有將續(xù)保險(xiǎn)費(fèi)寄出，還放在我手提箱里。小片的烏云迅即成了濃云滾滾，電閃雷鳴。我惟一擁有的只是幾百美元，還是我縮食節(jié)煙省下的。一個(gè)男人總得有點(diǎn)私房錢。就是為了某一天的急用，像今天。我真的別無選擇了。我拿著錢，咬了咬牙，嘴中祈禱著走向了賭場(chǎng)。我很快發(fā)現(xiàn)我的手氣背棄了我，也就是說我的運(yùn)氣糟得很。你會(huì)想幾乎３年沒練手，我應(yīng)當(dāng)有點(diǎn)新手的福氣?？墒聦?shí)上根本沒有。我到處去翻轉(zhuǎn)賭具，到處去嘗試，卻到處都輸錢。
好了，把話再說回來。我剩下了僅有的１０元錢，還有最后一次壓賭的機(jī)會(huì)。我抬頭從飛速旋轉(zhuǎn)的賭盤望去，目光正好與賭場(chǎng)總管的碰到了一起。他逐一掃視著這些急不可耐的賭客。他也看到了我，于是對(duì)我笑了一下，但是笑中帶著一絲蔑視。在這張桌子前，也不知他看到了多少次大把大把的錢財(cái)贏來又輸光。目睹了多少人家破人亡。“是的，伙計(jì)。”我很想對(duì)他講，“這兒又來了一個(gè)將整個(gè)命運(yùn)壓在這最后一擲的笨蛋。”我懂得他那一份蔑視。在過去的３年中，我也曾見過不少人沿著我一直避免不去走的路滑落下去，他們由歡喜變成失望、誤入歧途又難以自拔的情景歷歷在目。想起我也曾是他們中的一員，不禁感到心有余悸。埃斯特爾挽救了我。我得以又以一個(gè)自豪的不可戰(zhàn)勝的新面孔挺立起來，贏利或是悲戚對(duì)我來講已如同陌路。
但是今天這一切都已成過去。難怪賭場(chǎng)總管用那種蔑視的眼光瞧著我。其實(shí)我自己都蔑視自己。我垂下了眼瞼。賭盤仍在瘋狂地旋轉(zhuǎn)著，好像永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)停下來。數(shù)百只眼睛緊緊盯著它。轉(zhuǎn)盤開始放慢了速度。人們的身體也隨之向前傾去。我身旁的那個(gè)男人端著肩膀，似乎呼吸已經(jīng)凝止了。桌子的另一邊一個(gè)女人緊握著指節(jié)已變白的拳頭。有樣?xùn)|西，或許是這個(gè)女人的手表，使我想起了埃斯特爾。我感到了一陣羞愧，便轉(zhuǎn)身走開了。我向自己許諾不管是贏是輸，我決不再回到這里了。我再也不能破壞我們純潔的關(guān)系。
聽著賭場(chǎng)主管宣布獲勝的數(shù)字，我的心猛地沉了下去。幸運(yùn)數(shù)是７。一切全完了。這時(shí)傳來一個(gè)女人快樂的尖叫聲，很像我親愛的埃斯特爾。我心里不禁感到一陣刺痛。我看到剛才那個(gè)白指節(jié)的拳頭正在歡快地勝利地在空中揮舞著。動(dòng)作是那么地突然，幾乎可以說是猛烈，以至于手表帶一下子崩斷了。手表在空中迅速飛過，最后落在了離我腳不遠(yuǎn)的豪華地毯上。然而，人們的目光仍盯著那個(gè)女人。她飛撲進(jìn)了她的穿著闊綽的男伴懷中，用尖尖的聲調(diào)叫道：“肯?？?。我們成功了。我們贏了。”她開始狂笑起來。她一會(huì)兒大叫，一會(huì)兒咯咯地笑，一會(huì)兒尖聲尖氣，一會(huì)兒又氣喘吁吁。她拍打自己的大腿，隨即又扭起了舞步。周圍的人們用羨慕的眼光饒有興味地注視著她的表演。然而我沒有任何喜悅之情。不必拾起那塊手表，即使知道表上刻著“埃斯特爾存念，心懷感激的丈夫贈(zèng)。”
NOTE 注釋：
1. croupier [5kru:piE] n. 賭場(chǎng)上的總管理人
2. casino [kE5si:nEu] n. 賭場(chǎng)
3. foreboding [fC:5bEJdIN] n. 預(yù)感, 先兆, 預(yù)兆
4. racecourse [5reIskC:s] n. 跑馬場(chǎng),賽馬場(chǎng)
5. briefcase [5brIfkeIs] n. 手提箱，公文包
6. grit one's teeth 咬緊牙關(guān)；下定決心
7. sirree [sE:5ri:] n. 先生
8. dice [dais] n. 骰子
9. demeanour [di5mi:nE] n. 行為, 舉止
10. ostentatiously [7Csten5teiFEsli] adv. 裝飾表面地，賣弄地
