Expert from Clarissaa
Indifferent as my head was,I had a little time to consider the man and his behaviour.He terrified me with his looks,and with his violent emotions,as he gazed upon me.Evident joy-suppressed emotions,as I have since recollected.His sentences short,and pronounced as if his breath were touched.Never saw I his abominable1) eyes look as then they looked--triumph in them.--fierce and wild;and more disagreeable than the women's at the vile house appeared to me when I first saw them:and at times,such a leering,mischief-bodingcast. I would have given the world to have been a hundred miles from him.Yet his behaviour was decent--a decency2),however,that I might have seen to be struggled for--for he snatched3) my hand two or three times,with a vehemence4) in his grasp that hurt me;speaking words of tenderness through his shut teeth,as it seemed;and let it go with a beggar-voiced humble accent;yet his words and manner carrying the appearance of strong and almost convulsed passion. O my dear. What mischiefs was he not then meditating.
I complained once or twice of thirst.I called for water:some table-beer was brought me:beer,I suppose,was a better vehicle(if I were not dosed enough before)for their potions.I told the maid that she knew I seldom tasted malt-liquor5):yet,suspecting nothing of this nature,being extremely thirsty,I drank it and instantly,as it were,found myself much worse than before;as if inebriated,I should fancy:I know not how.
His servant was gone twice as long as he needed:and just before his return,came one of the pretended Lady Betty's with a letter for Mr.Lovelace.
He sent it up to me.I read it:and then it was that I thought myself a lost creature;it being to put off her going to Hampstead that night,on account of violent fits which Miss Montague was pretended to be seized with;for then immediately came into my head his vile attempt upon me in this house.
I then insisted upon going directly to Lady Betty's lodgings6).
Mrs.Lesson's was now a crowded house,he said,and as my earnestness could be owing to nothing but groundless apprehension(and O what vows,what protestations7) of his honour did he make.),he hoped I would not add to their present concern.Charlotte,indeed,was used to fits,he said,upon any great surprises,whether of joy or grief;and they would hold her for a week together,if not got off in a few hours.
You are an observer of eyes,my dear,said the villain;perhaps in secret insult:saw you not in Miss Montague's now and then,at Hampstead,something wildish?I was afraid for her then.Silence and quiet only do her good:your concern for her,and her love for you,will but augment the poor girl's disorder,if you should go.
All impatient with grief and apprehension,I still declared myself resolved not to stay in that house till morning.All I had in t he world,my rings,my watch,my little money,for a coach;or,if one were not to be got,I would go on foot to Hampstead that night,though I walked it by myself.
A coach was hereupon sent for,or pretended to be sent for.Any price,he said,he would give to oblige me,late as it was;and he would attend me with all his soul.But no coach was to be got.
Let me cut short the rest.I grew worse and worse in my head;now stupid,now raving,now senseless.The vilest of vile women was brought to frighten me.Never was there so horrible a creature as she appeared to me at that time.
I remember I pleaded for mercy.I remember that I said I would be his--indeed I would be his--to obtain his mercy.But no mercy found I.My strength,my intellects,failed me--and then such scenes followed--O my dear,such dreadful scenes.--fits upon fits(faintly indeed and imperfectly remembered)procuring me no compassion--but death was withheld from me.That would have been too great a mercy!
Thus i was tricked and deluded back by blacker hearts of my own sex than I thought there were in the world;who appeared to me to be persons of honour,and,when in his power,thus barbarously was I treated by this villainous8) man.
感傷主義小說家理查遜
英國(guó)18世紀(jì)感傷主義小說家塞繆爾·理查遜(Samuel Richardson,1689~1761),自學(xué)成才,以印刷出版為業(yè)。50歲以后才開始寫書信、日記體的小說,篇幅都很長(zhǎng),經(jīng)他自己多次修改出版。共計(jì)三部:《帕梅拉》(Pamela,1740~1741,四卷)、《克拉麗莎》(Clarissa,1748~1749,八卷,百萬字)和《查爾斯·格蘭迪森爵士》(Sir Charles Grandison,1753~1754,七卷)?!犊死惿返纳倥鹘蔷芙^聽從父母之命嫁給富家,受英俊蕩子勒夫萊斯(Lovelace)慫恿欺騙,隨他出逃倫敦。她被帶到一家高級(jí)妓院,經(jīng)一些假冒的貴婦人包圍,多方誘勸,始終珍視貞操,不肯失身。后來勒夫萊斯下狠心用藥將克拉麗莎麻醉,施行強(qiáng)暴。即使這樣,女方也堅(jiān)決不肯嫁他,后來終于獲救,她的堂兄和勒夫萊斯決斗,將勒殺死。全書用克拉麗莎給密友的信和其他人寫的信組成,從多種角度描述了事情的經(jīng)過。所謂“感傷主義”(sentimentalism)是18世紀(jì)中后期一種描寫人物感情曲折變化,并故意以此引起讀者同情的文學(xué)風(fēng)格,它離開了冷淡的理性主義,但還沒有徹底解放為熱情的浪漫主義。感傷主義作品使人感到處處不脫舊式道德觀念的束縛,有些矯揉造作,吞吞吐吐。這里選介的一段,出自克拉麗莎在遭強(qiáng)奸后給密友安娜·豪的信,追述自己怎樣受騙上當(dāng),當(dāng)時(shí)的心情變化又是如何。
盡管我的頭腦并不出眾,我還是有點(diǎn)時(shí)間考慮這個(gè)人和他的舉止。在他盯著我時(shí),他的外表、狂暴的脾氣嚇壞了我。回憶起來是明顯的壓抑快樂型性格,就象我具有的那樣。他說話很簡(jiǎn)短,他發(fā)出聲音時(shí),仿佛呼吸被阻礙。當(dāng)他們隨后再看時(shí),我從沒見過他這么可惡的目光--他們獲得了成功!--兇猛又野蠻;比我在邪惡的房屋中第一次見到的那些女人的目光更令人惡心;不時(shí)還投來些不懷好意、惡作劇的目光。如果可以的話,我寧愿和他有100英里遠(yuǎn)??墒撬呐e止是有分寸的--還算莊重,可是,我本應(yīng)反抗--因?yàn)樗袃扇巫プ∥业氖?,十分熱情,但這傷害了我;他的言語(yǔ)很柔和,但他說話時(shí)似乎不張開嘴;更不用說他乞丐般卑賤的腔調(diào)了;然而他的話和行為帶著一種強(qiáng)烈的表情和幾乎震顫的情緒!哦,天哪!他是多么壞,后來卻不去反省。
我說了一兩次我口渴了。我想要水:他們給我一些輕啤酒:我想,啤酒,是他們加放他們藥劑的不錯(cuò)工具(如果以前的劑量還不夠大的話)。我告訴那個(gè)使女她知道我以前很少喝麥芽灑:可是,我沒有考慮我這種習(xí)慣,因?yàn)槲覍?shí)在太渴了,所以立刻喝下了酒,當(dāng)時(shí)好像是,我發(fā)現(xiàn)情況比以前更糟;像喝醉了一樣,我應(yīng)該問問自己:我不知道如何這樣。
他命令他的仆人出去兩次:就在他返回之前,送來了其中一位假扮的貝蒂夫人給勒夫萊斯先生的信。
他把信交給了我。我讀了:此后我認(rèn)為我不知如何是好;由于蒙塔古小姐假裝突然發(fā)作的強(qiáng)烈的驚風(fēng),那夜她將推遲前往漢普斯蒂德;那時(shí)我突然意識(shí)到他在這所房子里對(duì)我可恥的陰謀。
后來我堅(jiān)持直接前往貝蒂夫人的住所。
他說,萊森太太家里現(xiàn)在正十分擁擠,我的固執(zhí)是出于毫無根據(jù)的恐懼(哦,他那時(shí)做的是怎樣的誓言,此后怎么以他的名譽(yù)起誓?。?,他希望我不要給她們添麻煩。他顯得異常吃驚(不知是出于高興還是悲傷),說夏洛特實(shí)際上以前就常驚風(fēng);如果她幾小時(shí)內(nèi)不動(dòng)身的話,他們將留她在一起呆一周。
也許帶些侮辱的意味,這個(gè)壞人說,親愛的,你只相信你的眼睛;你只看到你偶爾不在漢普斯蒂德的蒙塔古小姐家里,而且有點(diǎn)荒涼?那么我很擔(dān)心她。安靜對(duì)她正有好處;但如果你去的話你對(duì)她的關(guān)心,她對(duì)你的愛,只會(huì)增添這可憐女孩的病痛。
悲傷和恐懼帶來心煩意亂,我仍然表示第二天早晨以前決不呆在這間房子里。我所有的全部,我的戒指、我的表、我的一點(diǎn)錢都用來雇馬車;否則的話,如果找不到別人,我會(huì)在那晚上走到漢普斯蒂德,盡管是我一個(gè)人走。
于是他派人去叫一輛馬車,他們假裝去叫。他說,不管什么價(jià)格,他都會(huì)幫助我的,盡管很晚了;他將全心全意照顧我。但找不到馬車。
我還是把其余部分講短些。我的頭越來越痛;我變得遲鈍、狂亂、不省人事。天底下最壞的女人被叫來嚇唬我。在那時(shí),對(duì)我來說世界上沒什么生靈比她更可怕了。
我記得我乞求慈悲。我記得我說我會(huì)是他的--實(shí)際上確實(shí)將是他的--以獲得他的慈悲。但我沒找到絲毫憐憫。我的力量、我的智慧都沒能幫助我--接著就發(fā)生了以下情景--哦,天哪,這些可怕的情景!--我一次次地痙攣使我失去了意識(shí)(的確很虛弱,不能記清楚當(dāng)時(shí)的情況了),但我卻沒有死。這真是萬幸。
因此我被我以前意想不到的同性別的黑心腸的人欺騙、迷惑了,她們是作為貴婦人出現(xiàn)在我面前的,并且,我落在他手中,因此我被這個(gè)邪惡的人下流地侮辱了。
NOTE 注釋:
abominable [E5bCminEbl] adj. 討厭的, 令人憎惡的
decency [5di:snsi] n. 莊重
snatch [snAtF] v. 攫取,搶奪
vehemence [5vi:imEns] n. 熱烈, 激烈, 熱心
malt-liquor [mC:lt 5likE] n. 麥芽酒
lodging [5lCdViN] n. 寄宿處, 寄宿, (通常用復(fù)數(shù))出租的房間、住房
protestation [7prEutes5teiFEn] n. 明言
villainous [5vilEnEs] adj. 邪惡的,惡毒的