◎ Russell
The best type of affection is reciprocally[100] life-giving; each receives affection with joy and gives it without effort, and each finds the whole world more interesting in consequence of the existence of this reciprocal happiness. There is, however, another kind, by no means uncommon, in which one person sucks the vitality of the other, one receives what the other gives, but gives almost nothing in return.
最好的那種愛(ài)是能讓彼此愉快的愛(ài);彼此很愉快地接受,很自然地給予,并且因?yàn)橛辛诉@種互利互惠的快樂(lè),彼此都覺(jué)得這個(gè)世界變得更加有趣。然而,還有一種并不罕見(jiàn)的愛(ài),那就是一方吸收著另一方的活力,接受著另一方的給予,而對(duì)另一方卻毫無(wú)回報(bào)。
Some very vital people belong to this bloodsucking type. They extract the vitality from one victim after another, but while they prosper and grow interesting, those upon whom they live grow pale and dim[101] and dull. Such people use others as means to their own ends, and never consider them as ends in themselves. Fundamentally[102] they are not interested in those whom for the moment they think they love; they are interested only in the stimulus to their own activities, perhaps of a quite impersonal sort.
那些生命力極其旺盛的人就屬于這吸血的一類。他們把一個(gè)又一個(gè)受害者的活力吸盡,然而,當(dāng)他們?cè)桨l(fā)生機(jī)勃勃、興致盎然的時(shí)候,那些受害者卻變得越來(lái)越蒼白、黯淡和遲鈍。這些人將他人當(dāng)成自己實(shí)現(xiàn)最終目標(biāo)的工具,卻從不考慮他人也有自己的目標(biāo)。他們一時(shí)以為自己很愛(ài)那些人,但其實(shí)他們根本就對(duì)那些人不感興趣;他們感興趣的是給自己的活動(dòng)添加的刺激,而他們的活動(dòng)可能也是屬于毫無(wú)人情味可言的。
Evidently this springs from some defect in their nature, but it is one not altogether easy either to diagnose or to cure. It is a characteristic frequently associated with great ambition, and is rooted, I should say, in an unduly one-sided view of what makes human happiness. Affection in the sense of a genuine reciprocal interest of two persons in each other, not solely as means to each other’s good, but rather as a combination having a common good, is one of the most important elements of real happiness, and the man whose ego is so enclosed within steel walls that this enlargement of it is impossible misses the best that life has to offer, however successful he may be in his career. A too powerful ego is a prison from which a man must escape if he is to enjoy the world to the full. A capacity for genuine affection is one of the marks of the man who has escaped from this prison of self. To receive affection is by no means enough; affection which is received should liberate the affection which is to be given, and only where both exist in equal measure does affection achieve its best possibilities.
顯然,這種情況源于他們本性上的某種缺陷,但這種缺陷不容易診斷或治愈。它往往和野心有關(guān),我必須說(shuō),同時(shí)也是由于總是不恰當(dāng)?shù)貜膯畏矫婵紤]世間幸福的緣故。兩個(gè)人相互關(guān)心意義上的愛(ài),不僅是促進(jìn)彼此幸福的手段,還是促進(jìn)共同幸福的手段,是影響真正幸福的最重要因素之一。凡是把自己禁錮起來(lái)的人,無(wú)論他在事業(yè)上取得了多大的成功,他都必將錯(cuò)失人生中最好的東西。太強(qiáng)的自我就如一座監(jiān)獄,如果你想充分地享受人生,那就必須先從那座監(jiān)獄中逃脫。僅僅接受愛(ài)是遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)不夠的;接受的愛(ài)應(yīng)該是能激發(fā)你也獻(xiàn)出自己的愛(ài),只有接受的愛(ài)和釋放的愛(ài)等量存在時(shí),愛(ài)才能達(dá)到它的最佳狀態(tài)。
From Russell’s Views on Life
選自《羅素論人生》