◎ 廬隱
◎ Lu Yin
只要一回憶到學(xué)生時(shí)代的生活,心頭便不禁有一種頑皮的跳動(dòng),過去的童年,也似乎復(fù)活了。
Whenever I look back upon my school days, my heart will throb hard and my childhood will seem to come back to life.
我正是十三歲的那一年秋天,考進(jìn)了女子師范的一年級(jí),在全級(jí)同學(xué)的年齡中,我是倒數(shù)第一,身材呢,偏偏也是又矮又小,當(dāng)我拖著兩條小辮發(fā),跑進(jìn)課堂時(shí),同學(xué)們都驚奇地望著我,在她們的揣測中,這僅僅是個(gè)小學(xué)四五年級(jí)的孩子,怎么會(huì)參加她們的集團(tuán)呢,而我就在她們的猜疑中,安然地坐在第一排的位子上了。
In the autumn of the year when I was thirteen, I got enrolled by examination to a women's normal school as a first-year student. Being the youngest of the class, I was short and small. As I entered the classroom wearing my hair in two braids, my classmates all stared at me with amazement, wondering how a primary school kid of the 4th or 5th grade could have become one of their clique. Nevertheless, in the midst of their guesses, I took a seat in the first row with composure.
一個(gè)中年婦女,據(jù)說是學(xué)監(jiān)曹先生,邁著那小腳放大的特有的八字步,神乎其神的走進(jìn)教室,登上講臺(tái),我們恭敬的起立,鞠躬,坐下,學(xué)監(jiān)發(fā)給我們一份油印的學(xué)校規(guī)則,上面羅列著森嚴(yán)可怖的校規(guī),最使我刺心的,是學(xué)生必須全體住堂,除星期六例假外,不許外出,即使例假外出時(shí),也必有家長蓋章的證明書才行,星期日下午五點(diǎn)以前一定要回學(xué)校,如果遲誤,下星期就不準(zhǔn)回家,其次就是不許穿制服以外的任何衣服,——而制服偏偏又是那樣難看,夏季的是灰色布衫,灰色山東綢的裙子,新的時(shí)候還好,洗過幾次之后,顏色灰黯,活像一窩老鼠精。至于冬季的呢,那又不如夏季的了,青蛙色的愛國布裙衫,洗得黃不黃綠不綠,誰說不能象征癩蛤蟆的色彩呢?同時(shí)頭上再梳個(gè)日本式高搭涼棚式的頭,真是嗚呼嘻噫,不像鼠精,也像蛙怪了。這雖然似乎是一件小事,而對(duì)于我這個(gè)還拖著兩條辮發(fā)的孩子,簡直等于是一種滑稽的刑罰呢!
A middle-aged woman, known as Miss Cao the proctor, walked into the classroom and mounted the platform with self-important airs. Having been once a woman with bound-feet, she was splayfooted. We all stood up, bowed and sat down with great deference. The proctor then gave us each a mimeographed sheet with a horrible list of strict regulations, of which the most detestable was that all students must be boarders forbidden to go out of the campus except during weekends with a certificate sealed by parents and that they must return to the campus before 5 o'clock on Sunday afternoons and otherwise they would not be allowed to go home next weekend. On top of that, we were allowed to wear no other outer garment than the school uniform, which was so ugly. The summer uniform consisted of a gray cotton shirt and a gray silk skirt, which would discolor with each washing until they looked as pale as gray rats. The winter uniform with frog-colored jacket and skirt, was even lousier. They would, after several washings, turn neither yellow nor green, taking on the color of brown-skinned toads. Meanwhile, we had to wear our hair after the Japanese style, with a hairpiece shaped like a huge canopy. O my, we were thus all transformed into rat spirits and frog monsters! Though it was a trivial matter, yet to a little girl like me with two treasured short braids, it was as good as a ludicrous form of punishment!
自從學(xué)監(jiān)曹先生頒布校規(guī)以后,一些天真活潑的女孩,霎時(shí)間都變成了日本婆娘,——那時(shí)間日本的教育及其他,都正在中國走著極時(shí)的紅運(yùn),所有的教育當(dāng)局,也大半是日本留學(xué)生,所以為了貫徹他們的取法乎日本的主張,便連裝飾也必使其逼似。試想那樣龐大笨重的涼棚頭,頂在一些尚未全成人形的孩子們身上,究竟類乎不類呢?尤其在全級(jí)比較最小的我更是個(gè)要命的勾當(dāng),每逢走過整容鏡前,由不得掩面急趨,這一副頭大身小,畸形發(fā)展的尊容,便連自己,也無勇氣看。所以僅僅是一個(gè)大棚頭,和一身蛙色或鼠色的布裙衫,簡直像一副全份的刑具,壓迫得我無精打采,先天所有的愛美情感,都被摧毀了,因此我每個(gè)星期六回家時(shí),必作一次欺騙的行為,那就是從學(xué)監(jiān)處領(lǐng)得回家的通知書后,走到門房,放下包裹,先把那大棚頭摧毀,仍舊拖兩條發(fā)辮,這才雇車回家。第二天回學(xué)校時(shí),也是偷偷摸摸乘學(xué)監(jiān)看不見的時(shí)候,逃到櫛沐室,恢復(fù)了大棚頭,再去交通知書。
Upon the announcement of the school regulations by Miss Cao the proctor, the innocent school girls immediately started to behave like Japanese women. In those days, things Japanese, including the educational system, were at the height of their popularity in China. And most of the Chinese officials in charge of education then were returned students from Japan. Hence the slavish copying of even the Japanese style of ornamentation. Imagine how absurd it was to fix a huge cumbersome canopy-like hairpiece on the head of an under-age little girl! Being the smallest girl of the class, I was worst hit by it. I would quickly shy away from the full-length mirror at school with my face buried in my hands, not daring to look at my own top-heavy bizarre appearance in it. The canopy-like hairpiece and the ugly cotton uniform, like a complete set of instruments of torture, depressed me and deprived me of my inborn love for being well groomed. So I started playing a trick every Saturday before I went home for the weekend. After getting the certificate for leave, I would enter the janitor's room where I put down my knapsack and took off my canopy-like hairpiece. Then I would be on my way home sporting my short braids. The next day when I returned to school, I would, before handing in the certificate for leave, sneak into the women's bathroom without the knowledge of the proctor and furtively put on the unwieldy hairpiece again.
在這個(gè)中學(xué)時(shí)期中,本來是我的黃金時(shí)代,誰知我的活潑快樂的童年,竟銷滅于這如牢獄似的學(xué)校生活中,至今想來,對(duì)于當(dāng)時(shí)那種專門以壓迫手段的學(xué)校教育,猶覺不寒而栗了。
My high school days would have been my golden age had it not been for the prison-like school life. Today, I still cannot help shuddering at the thought of the erstwhile coercion-oriented school education.
對(duì)于學(xué)校訓(xùn)育法,給我的印象太壞了,至于功課呢,也是不能使人滿意,一味的注入,不管你能吸收消化與否,他們只管照著老調(diào)唱,因此我對(duì)于讀書,竟視為畏途,在講堂里總是想法消遣,不是作打油詩,俏皮先生,便是和同學(xué)傳遞紙條,以為玩笑,只要聽見下課鈴一響,但沒命的逃了。
While I loathed the moral education conducted by the school, I was also fed-up with its spoon-fed intellectual education. The teachers then would harp on the same old platitudes regardless of whether the students could comprehend or not. As a result, I became bored with studies. While in class, I would try to divert myself by writing lines of doggerel at the expense of the teachers, or surreptitiously exchanging scribbled notes with my classmates for fun. And at the sound of the class-dismissing bell, we would all scatter in a rush.
在這枯燥陰暗的學(xué)校生活中,我有時(shí)仍然要自尋光明,那就是偷看小說——那時(shí)候的學(xué)生,除了教科書以外,什么都不許看,小說尤其在嚴(yán)禁之列,如被發(fā)覺,輕則學(xué)監(jiān)叫去當(dāng)面訓(xùn)斥一頓,把小說沒收,重則掛牌記大過一次,可是這也禁不斷我們,仍然不斷的偷看書,有時(shí)我竟躲在講堂最后一排的椅子上,把小說藏在國文講義下面,趁先生講的唾沫亂濺的時(shí)候,我已一頁一頁的偷看下去,有時(shí)看到小說中情節(jié)太滑稽的部分,我竟忘其所以的噗哧一笑,這就惹下了大禍,先生瞪起銅鈴般的眼睛,惡狠狠地叫我到前排來,我連忙把小說往屜子里一塞,垂頭喪氣的坐到前排位子上,但是心里更急切要想曉得那故事的下文,于是我的精神貫注于那小說的想象中,雖是木然靜坐,心早不知飛越到第幾世界去了。
Confronted with the boredom of school life, I often tried to find a way out by reading novels on the sly. In those days, students were allowed to read no other books, especially novels, than textbooks. Acts of disobedience would incur a stern reprimand by the proctor plus confiscation of the novels, or, what was even worse, having a major demerit put on record. But all that proved of little avail. Sometimes, while the teacher was lecturing, I would, seating myself in the last row of the classroom, be absorbed in reading a novel hidden under a copy of lecture notes on Chinese. Sometimes, I would be carried away by something funny in the novel and chuckle involuntarily. That brought great trouble on me. The teacher glared at me with eyes wide open like two brass bells and fiercely ordered me to take a front-row seat instead. Thereupon, I quickly thrust the novel into my drawer and took the new seat, looking crestfallen. But, inwardly, I was concerned about the denouement of the novel. I just couldn't take my mind off what the ensuing chapters would be like. So, sitting still and quietly in the classroom, I would have my thoughts wandering immeasurably far away.
有一次,我從一個(gè)同學(xué)那里,借到林譯小說的全部,這使我發(fā)狂的想看,于是就想了個(gè)絕妙的方法,跑到學(xué)監(jiān)處,皺緊眉頭假稱肚子疼,學(xué)監(jiān)叫我到寢室去睡,——平時(shí)寢室的門是鎖了的,除非生病不到打睡覺鈴時(shí),不準(zhǔn)到寢室去,——我這時(shí)暗暗地高興,拿著鎖打開寢室的門,放下帳子,拿上兩三本小說,睡在床上,大看而特看,到吃飯的時(shí)候,學(xué)監(jiān)只派校役,送一些稀飯和咸菜給我,這使我有苦說不出,無可奈何,只好把這稀飯咸菜姑且療饑吧。我這樣裝病過三四次,是后一次這個(gè)秘密被學(xué)監(jiān)發(fā)覺了,以欺騙和違法的罪名,記了我一大過。
Once, having borrowed from a classmate a collection of Western fiction translated into Chinese by Lin Shu, I was all eagerness to finish reading all of it. So I thought up a good idea. I went to the proctor with knitted eyebrows, pretending that I was suffering from a stomach-ache. She told me to go and get a sleep at the student dorm, which was ordinarily locked and no one could enter unless when in illness or before the lightsout bell rang. I felt secretly pleased. And with the key I got from her, I opened the dorm door and then lay in bed reading avidly Lin's translations with the mosquito net hung round me. At meal time, the proctor would send me by a school worker nothing but watery rice gruel and pickles. I felt unutterably miserable and had no alternative but to eat the simple fare to appease my hunger. Altogether I malingered three or four times until it was discovered by the proctor. Consequently I got a serious demerit put on my record on the charge of cheating and disobedience.
……
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一年復(fù)一年的我們這樣生活著,混過四年畢業(yè)書騙到手,我的中學(xué)生活也就告了結(jié)束。
That was how I managed to muddle through year after year until I gotthe diploma at the end of four years, thus concluding my high school life.
《中學(xué)時(shí)代生活的回憶》的作者廬隱(1898—1934)原名黃淑儀,又名黃英,福建閩侯人,是“五四”時(shí)期著名女作家,早期與冰心齊名。本文在英譯時(shí)有所刪節(jié)。