Accept the World and You Will Be Happy 接受這世界,你會快樂
◎ Leo Babauta
There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. —William Shakespeare, “Hamlet”
One of the greatest sources of unhappiness, in my experience, is the difficulty we have in accepting things as they are.
Without judgment, without wishing for otherwise.
When we see something we don’t like, we wish it could be different—we cry out for something better. That may be human nature, or perhaps it’s something that’s ingrained in our culture.
The root of the unhappiness isn’t necessarily that we want things to be different, however: it’s that we decided we didn’t like it in the first place. We’ve judged it as bad, rather than saying, “It’s not bad or good, it just is”.
An example: In my recent post, A Beautiful Method to Find Peace of Mind, quite a few commenters thought my outlook was negative, pessimistic, or fatalistic...because I said you should expect people to mess up, expect things to go differently than you planned, and that you should embrace that.
It’s too negative to expect things to go wrong, they said. However, it’s only negative if you see it as negative. If you judge it as bad.
Instead, you could accept it as the way the world works—as the way things actually are. And try to understand why that is, and embrace it. As it is.
This can be applied to whatever you do: whether it be how other people act at work, how politics works and how depressing the news media can be. Accept these things as they are, and try to understand why they’re that way.
It’ll save you a lot of grief, because you’ll no longer say, “Oh, I wish things didn’t suck!”
Does it mean you can never change things? Not at all. But change things not because you can’t accept things as they are, but because you enjoy the process of change, of learning and growing.
Can we make this world a better place? Again, that’s assuming that it’s a bad place right now. But instead, you could say the world is just what it is—and that’s neither good nor bad. You can say that you’ll continue to try to do things to help others, to grow as a person, to make a difference in this world—not because you’re such a bad person now, or the world sucks, but because that’s the path you choose to take, because you enjoy that path.
As you catch yourself judging, and wishing for different—and we all do it—try a different approach: accept, and understand. It might lead to some interesting results.
Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.
世間本無善惡,端看個(gè)人想法。
——威廉·莎士比亞,《哈姆雷特》
經(jīng)驗(yàn)告訴我,使人不快樂最主要的原因,是我們很難接受事物的本來面目。
不要臆斷,不要期望所有事物都會按照我們喜歡的樣子發(fā)展。
當(dāng)我們遇到不喜歡的事物時(shí),我們希望它們能夠變成我們所希望的樣子。這可能是人的天性,也可能是一種在文化中已經(jīng)根深蒂固的習(xí)慣。
不幸的根源并不是上面提到的那個(gè)思維定式,而是我們在不喜歡某個(gè)事物時(shí),就認(rèn)為它是壞的,而不會說“它本來就是這個(gè)樣子的”。
例如,我最近的一篇《心如靜水,從容生活》的文章,很多人都認(rèn)為我對未來的看法太消極,太悲觀,太宿命論……因?yàn)槲艺f人們應(yīng)該預(yù)料到不順利,期望事情不會按照自己的計(jì)劃發(fā)展,并且還要接納它們。
很多朋友說,希望事情出錯(cuò)這種想法很悲觀。然而,只是在你認(rèn)為悲觀的時(shí)候,事情才會是悲觀的,原因就是你覺得它不好。
反之,人們要接受這個(gè)世界的運(yùn)轉(zhuǎn)方式,接受事物的本來面貌。試著去了解它們?yōu)槭裁磿沁@個(gè)樣子,并且接受它們。
這應(yīng)該適用于所有的一切:無論是別人的工作方式、政治活動,還是令人悲傷、沉悶的新聞媒體。接受這些事情的真相,并試著了解它們?yōu)槭裁磿@樣。
這樣你就會減少很多悲傷,因?yàn)槟悴粫僬f:“哦,真希望事情并沒有這么糟糕!”
可是這是否代表你不能改變事物?當(dāng)然不是。當(dāng)你試著改變事物的時(shí)候,不是因?yàn)槟悴荒芙邮苓@種狀態(tài),而是因?yàn)槟阆矚g這種改變的過程,并能從中學(xué)到很多,讓自己成長。
我們能讓世界變得更美好嗎?同樣,這本身就已經(jīng)假設(shè)了現(xiàn)在的世界不好。反過來說,我們應(yīng)該覺得世界就是這樣——既不好也不壞。你可以說你會繼續(xù)努力幫助別人,提升自己,創(chuàng)造新的事物。不是你現(xiàn)在不好,也不是世界太糟糕,而是因?yàn)槟氵x擇了這樣的道路,因?yàn)槟阆矚g這樣的道路。
當(dāng)你發(fā)現(xiàn)你能夠控制自己的判斷,從另一個(gè)角度看:接受并試著理解,這會產(chǎn)生一個(gè)有趣的結(jié)果。
對自己所擁有的一切感到滿足,對事物的本質(zhì)表示欣賞。當(dāng)你領(lǐng)悟到其實(shí)我們什么也不缺乏,整個(gè)世界都將屬于你。