我想改變世界
By Byron Pulsifer
——拜倫·普爾西弗
Change is one of the tough choices in life. How many times have you wanted to help someone else change their ways only to find that they keep moving on in the same direction and with the same behaviours and attitudes? You can present as manyrational arguments as you want but still the same old.
改變是人生中一個(gè)艱難的抉擇。你有過(guò)多少次想要幫助別人改變他們的生活方式,但最后往往發(fā)現(xiàn)他們依舊保持一貫的行為方式和生活態(tài)度,沿著過(guò)去的生活軌跡繼續(xù)前行?只要你愿意,你可以舉出各式理性的依據(jù),但是一切仍然是老樣子。
rational ['ræ?(?)n(?)l]adj. 合理的;理性的 n. 有理數(shù)
Take for example, a colleague at work who keeps doing the same job over and over again despite the need to adopt new ways, or more efficient ways to get the job done. What is the reason for this lack of adaptation?
舉個(gè)例子,盡管一項(xiàng)工作需要采取新的或者更有效的方式來(lái)完成,一個(gè)職員卻總是反復(fù)采用相同的工作方式。如何解釋這種適應(yīng)性的缺乏?
One reason may be that they are too set in a comfort zone because that is the way that has always worked for them and they know it cold. To ask them to adopt a new method of working requires them to move out of their comfort zone, and to take a risk that they might not be able to adopt the new procedure without making a mistake.
一種原因或許是他們太習(xí)慣于這個(gè)舒適區(qū)了,因?yàn)檫@就是他們一貫的工作方式,而且他們十分了解這種方式。如果想讓他們采用一種新的工作方式,就需要他們走出舒適區(qū),而且要冒一定的風(fēng)險(xiǎn)。因?yàn)樗麄兓蛟S不能在不犯錯(cuò)的情況下采用新的工作方式。
For several years, I worked in the social justice area and spoke to many hundreds if inmates in provincial prisons, and to inmates on their way to federal penitentiary. During these hundreds of conversations, one theme began to show over and over again. That theme was this: there was nothing I could say or do that would help them to change their life simply because they did not want to.
我在社會(huì)司法領(lǐng)域工作過(guò)幾年,同成百上千的關(guān)押在省監(jiān)獄或者即將轉(zhuǎn)入聯(lián)邦監(jiān)獄的罪犯交談過(guò)。在這么多次的談話中,有一個(gè)主題反復(fù)出現(xiàn):我不知道要說(shuō)什么或者是做什么來(lái)幫助他們改變他們的人生,因?yàn)樗麄儾幌敫淖儭?/p>
To make any kind of change, one has to have the will and determination to do it. There is only one who can do it and that is the person who is in charge of their own destiny.
不管是做何種改變,一個(gè)人首先必須有這種想要改變的愿望和決心。只有一個(gè)人可以做到,那個(gè)人就是掌控他們自己命運(yùn)的人。
destiny ['dest?n?]n. 命運(yùn),定數(shù),天命
The same applies to addicts of any sort. An addict can be sent to a detox centre but upon release, the only decision to get involved again with the addictive substance is the person.
同樣的道理也適用于各種癮君子。吸毒者可以被送到排毒中心。但是一旦被釋放,能決定再次沾染毒品的只有他自己。
Each person has a choice; the choice to do as one may wish and as one wants remains with the individual. If a person sees no benefit to change, they will not change.
每個(gè)人都有自己的選擇。這個(gè)按照一個(gè)人的意愿而做出的選擇只屬于那個(gè)人。如果一個(gè)人覺(jué)得改變不會(huì)給自己帶來(lái)好處,那么他就不會(huì)選擇改變。
Several years ago, I experienced a similar challenge with one of my staff members. There was a real need to change the way we conducted our service and I desperately needed everyone on board. Part of the issue with this particular person wasn’t that she did not understand the need to change, nor was it that she did not have the experience and knowledge to change. It was really a matter that she did not want to adapt because she had always done it the old way and saw no benefit to doing their particular service in a new way. So, my challenge was to find a special benefit to her so she would decide that to change would be of special benefit to her. In the end, I was able to speak privately with this staff member and outline a special benefit to her that would satisfy her to want to change.
幾年前,我經(jīng)歷了一次類(lèi)似的挑戰(zhàn)。這次經(jīng)歷與我的一名工作人員有關(guān)。當(dāng)時(shí),我們開(kāi)展服務(wù)的方式確實(shí)需要改變。我特別需要所有人都能參與這種改變。這個(gè)員工的問(wèn)題既不是她不理解改變的必要性,也不是她沒(méi)有改變所需要的經(jīng)驗(yàn)和知識(shí)。她不想改變是因?yàn)樗恢卑凑绽戏绞焦ぷ?,而且并沒(méi)有看到新的工作方式給她帶來(lái)的好處。所以,對(duì)我的挑戰(zhàn)就是要找到特別的好處給她,這樣她就會(huì)認(rèn)識(shí)到改變對(duì)于她是有特殊的好處的。最后,我私下里跟她談了一次,并把她愿意為之改變的好處講給她聽(tīng)。
If you want to help someone change, they must first want to change. If they do not want to change it is the same thing as leading a horse to water. You can get the horse there but you can’t make them drink. The story below, which was written by an Unknown Monk, in 1100 A.D., reflects we can only change ourselves.
如果你想幫助別人改變,前提是他們想改變。如果他們不想改變,這就如同強(qiáng)馬飲水。牽馬到河易,強(qiáng)馬飲水難。下面這個(gè)故事是一個(gè)不知名的僧侶在公元1100年寫(xiě)的。故事反映的道理是,我們只能改變我們自己。
When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world. I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation. When I found I couldn’t change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn’t change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family. Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family. My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world.”
當(dāng)我年輕的時(shí)候,我想改變世界。但我發(fā)現(xiàn)改變世界很難,因此我試著去改變我的國(guó)家。當(dāng)我發(fā)現(xiàn)我也改變不了國(guó)家的時(shí)候,我開(kāi)始想著要改變我居住的小鎮(zhèn)。我也沒(méi)能改變小鎮(zhèn)。年紀(jì)大一些了,我嘗試改變我的家人?,F(xiàn)在,我已然是一位老人。我才意識(shí)到我所能改變的只有我自己。我突然覺(jué)得如果很久之前就改變自己,我就可以影響到我的家人。我的家人和我就可以影響我的鎮(zhèn)子。他們的影響力就可以改變國(guó)家,那樣的話,我就真正改變了世界。