'Women now have choices,' says Violeta Zhang, a 33-year-old accountant who says she plans to stay single. 'I can hang out with you, but I'm not bound to you. That's a choice.'
“女性現(xiàn)在有多種選擇。”33歲打算獨(dú)身的會計(jì)張小姐說,“我可以跟你約會,但不會受你束縛,這就是多種選擇中的一種。”
Family and friends often see the lifestyle as a phase and expect the singletons to settle down, and many singletons do insist they're not opposed to marriage, just determined not to commit until they find the right partner -- one who respects their independence and shares their life goals. Presumably that means not expecting a wife to stay home and put up with a meddling mother-in-law.
獨(dú)身女性的親友往往將其單身生活視為一個(gè)階段,希望她們最終安定下來,結(jié)婚生子。此外,不少獨(dú)身主義者堅(jiān)持說,她們并不反對結(jié)婚,只是下決心在找到理想的另一半前堅(jiān)守陣地。理想的另一半必須尊重她們的獨(dú)立性,擁有共同的生活目標(biāo);也就是說,不能指望妻子呆在家里相夫教子,忍受婆婆的指手劃腳。
'Men have to change,' says Lan Pei-chia, a sociologist at National Taiwan University.
“男人必須改變自己的想法,”臺灣大學(xué)的社會學(xué)者藍(lán)佩嘉說道。
'I'm selfish. Most single women are selfish,' says Jiang Chun-mei, a 43-year-old English teacher.
“我很自私,大多數(shù)獨(dú)身女性都很自私。”43歲的英語教師江春梅(音)說道。
In her 20s, Ms. Jiang had a steady Taiwanese boyfriend, but was put off marriage by the prospect of moving in with his family and becoming 'one more chopstick' at the table. After seven years she broke it off. (Her former boyfriend married another woman within a year; the couple now has two children.)
20多歲時(shí),江春梅有一個(gè)穩(wěn)定的臺灣男朋友,但她由于不愿接受住進(jìn)他的大家庭,成為“多添一雙筷子”的那個(gè),因此推遲婚期。七年后,她提出分手。(她前男友一年后娶了另一個(gè)女孩,已有兩個(gè)孩子。)
Today Ms. Jiang dates only foreign men who don't want to tie her down. Her circle of friends includes both single and married women. She jokes with her single friends that their future will be a Taiwanese version of the 'Golden Girls,' an American TV show about four female retirees living together in Florida. 'It's just my lifestyle,' she says. 'It's natural, quite comfortable.'
現(xiàn)在,江春梅只跟不想把她拴在身邊的外國男人約會。她的朋友圈既有單身女性,也有已婚女性。她和自己的單身朋友開玩笑說,她們的未來將是臺灣版的《黃金女郎》(Golden Girls),這是一部講述四個(gè)女性退休后一起住在佛羅里達(dá)的美劇。“這就是我想要的生活方式,”她說,“這很自然,也很舒服。”
Last year, Ms. Jiang took a month off to visit France, staying with friends. Ms. Zhang, the accountant, can't get enough of Spain and is fluent in the language. For Ms. Chen, the singleton guru, the hot destination is Bangkok. She recently wrote a Bangkok guidebook, spliced with photos of her shopping for clothes and eating her way around town.
去年,江春梅去法國度了一個(gè)月的假,跟朋友住在一起。會計(jì)張小姐特別喜歡西班牙,說一口流利的西班牙語。獨(dú)身名人陳儀麗最喜歡的地方是曼谷,最近寫了一本曼谷的旅行指南,里頭有不少她買衣服和品嘗美食的照片。