中國(guó)貓爸軟實(shí)力悄然超虎媽

All over the world, the middle classes take temporary leave of their senses when they bear their first child and especially when junior is ready to start school. We all know about China’s Tiger Mums, but as far as I can see, other countries have ferocious felines too.

世界各地都一樣，當(dāng)中產(chǎn)階層的父母養(yǎng)育第一個(gè)孩子時(shí)，尤其是當(dāng)孩子準(zhǔn)備開(kāi)始上學(xué)時(shí)，都會(huì)一時(shí)喪失理智。我們都聽(tīng)說(shuō)過(guò)中國(guó)的虎媽?zhuān)贿^(guò)據(jù)我所知，其他國(guó)家也不乏這種兇猛的“貓科動(dòng)物”。

Chinese mums are not the only ones loading their tiny ones up with after-school classes, to make sure they do well in college entrance exams (China’s own version of this — the dreaded gaokao — finishes on June 9).[NB CHINA’S COLLEGE ENTRANCE EXAMS RUN JUNE 7-8 IN MOST PARTS OF THE COUNTRY, HENCE THE REFERENCE TO HOW IT HAS “JUST FINISHED” ON JUNE 9]

并不是只有中國(guó)媽媽會(huì)帶著小孩去上補(bǔ)習(xí)班，確保孩子在大學(xué)入學(xué)考試中取得好成績(jī)。就在6月9日，可怕中國(guó)的大學(xué)入學(xué)考試——高考，剛剛結(jié)束。

I sent my first daughter to pre-school at 20 months, convinced that if she waited to start with all the other two-year-olds, she would never get into Harvard.

我大女兒1歲8個(gè)月大時(shí)，我就送她去了幼兒園。當(dāng)時(shí)我相信如果等她兩歲再跟其他孩子一起入托，她肯定永遠(yuǎn)考不進(jìn)哈佛大學(xué)(Harvard)。

By that time, she had already completed courses in baby music, baby swimming, baby gymnastics, baby Chinese (and doubtless some other dumb thing that I have since forgotten about). Last week she finished sitting final exams for her first year of high school. I am not prepared to disclose the results but I think I can safely say that I could have waited on the whole pre-school thing — at least until she could talk.

其實(shí)在入托前她已經(jīng)上完了許多課程，包括嬰兒音樂(lè)、嬰兒游泳、嬰兒體操、嬰兒漢語(yǔ)……我肯定還為她做了其他很蠢的安排，不過(guò)我已經(jīng)想不起名字了，因?yàn)閷?shí)在太蠢了。上周她剛考完了高一最后一門(mén)期末考試。我并不準(zhǔn)備公布她的成績(jī)，但我可以肯定地說(shuō)，我其實(shí)沒(méi)必要那么早送她去幼兒園——至少應(yīng)該等她能說(shuō)話時(shí)再送。

It seems I am not the only one having a rethink on the idea of academic training for toddlers though, even in China. One of the most popular series on Chinese television recently was Tiger Mum and Cat Dad, about that perennially tortured topic: does ferocity or meekness produce the best gaokao scores? The child in the series has a nervous breakdown due to too much homework pressure: I guess that is your answer. It seems it is no longer so obvious that it is a good idea to start cramming kids for university entrance in the same week you take them out of nappies.

現(xiàn)在看來(lái)，即便是在中國(guó)，反思幼兒學(xué)習(xí)培訓(xùn)的觀念的人并不只有我一個(gè)人。最近中國(guó)的一部熱播電視劇《虎媽貓爸》探討了一個(gè)長(zhǎng)期困擾著家長(zhǎng)們的話題：到底是該嚴(yán)厲還是溫和，才能讓孩子取得最好的高考成績(jī)?我猜人們會(huì)回答，這部電視劇里的孩子由于作業(yè)太多，壓力太大而患上抑郁癥。對(duì)于家長(zhǎng)來(lái)說(shuō)，讓剛摘掉尿布的嬰兒早早開(kāi)始填鴨式高考教育，似乎不再是個(gè)好主意。

“Parents born in the 1980s, unlike their predecessors, are more aware of the importance of the happiness of their child at kindergarten, instead of just the development of their academic capacities,” the official China Daily quoted the general manager of Kids R Kids in China as saying.

官媒《中國(guó)日?qǐng)?bào)》(China Daily)援引Kids R Kids駐華總經(jīng)理的話說(shuō)：“80后父母與上輩人不同，他們更能意識(shí)到孩子去幼兒園更重要的是快樂(lè)，而不再僅僅關(guān)注孩子學(xué)業(yè)能力的進(jìn)步。”

They would say that, wouldn’t they, since Kids R Kids is a US early education company whose motto is “hug first, then teach”. You can’t sell that kind of thing to Tiger Mum — but there must be more Cat Dads out there than before. Otherwise who will Kids R Kids peddle classes in things like infant sign language and “lying on the belly with friends” to?

當(dāng)然了，人們肯定會(huì)說(shuō)，這是因?yàn)镵ids R Kids是一家美國(guó)早教公司，其座右銘是“先擁抱孩子，再教授知識(shí)”。虎媽是不會(huì)接受這套說(shuō)辭的，不過(guò)現(xiàn)在的貓爸肯定比以前多。否則Kids R Kids向誰(shuí)推銷(xiāo)譬如嬰兒手語(yǔ)，“與朋友們趴著玩兒”這類(lèi)課程呢?

The government also seems to be more on Cat Dad’s side these days: changes in official education regulations introduced in Shanghai this year halved the number of children interviewing for slots in highly competitive private kindergartens and primary schools, according to state media. Shanghai Daily said the goal was to “ease the parent frenzy about getting offspring into the best schools”. Sounds like feline fathers are getting the upper hand there, too.

近來(lái)政府似乎更站在貓爸的一邊：根據(jù)中國(guó)官方媒體的報(bào)道，今年上海出臺(tái)教育條例改革，使競(jìng)爭(zhēng)極為激烈的民辦幼兒園和民辦小學(xué)的入學(xué)面試報(bào)考人數(shù)減半?！渡虾Ｈ?qǐng)?bào)》(Shanghai Daily)表示，改革的目標(biāo)是“緩解家長(zhǎng)對(duì)于擇校的焦慮心態(tài)”。聽(tīng)起來(lái)，貓爸們似乎逐漸占了上風(fēng)。

State media gave this as an example of the kind of question primary school interviewers might ask: You have a 5m pole. If you take a deep breath and climb up 2m, but then slip down 1m each time, how many deep breaths will you have to take before reaching the top?” I’m glad they didn’t ask my high schooler that.

對(duì)于參加小學(xué)入學(xué)面試的孩子們要回答的問(wèn)題，官方媒體給出了一個(gè)例子：有一個(gè)5米的爬桿。如果你深吸一口氣能爬高兩米，但每次都會(huì)滑下1米，你需要深呼吸幾次才能爬到桿頂?我很高興我上高中的孩子過(guò)去沒(méi)被問(wèn)到這個(gè)問(wèn)題。

Yang Huiyu is a young dad with a child entering primary school next academic year, and he thinks pre-school cramming is a waste of money: he holds up a maths test from such a school — which even includes a few algebra questions — and points out that children only have a limited period to answer the questions. Not for him, he says: “It’s just a matter of time, my child will learn this in school anyway,” adding that if his son is given more than an hour and a half of homework per night, “I’ll ask him to take the unfinished work back to the teacher.”

楊輝宇(音譯)是一位年輕的父親，他的孩子下學(xué)年就要上小學(xué)了。他認(rèn)為學(xué)前填鴨式教育完全是浪費(fèi)錢(qián)：他拿起一張這種學(xué)校提供的數(shù)學(xué)測(cè)試題，里面甚至包含幾個(gè)代數(shù)問(wèn)題，他指出孩子們只有有限的時(shí)間回答這些問(wèn)題。他不認(rèn)同這一做法，說(shuō)：“這只是時(shí)間問(wèn)題，我的孩子遲早會(huì)在學(xué)校里學(xué)到，”他還補(bǔ)充說(shuō)，如果兒子每天晚上的作業(yè)量超過(guò)了一個(gè)半小時(shí)，“我會(huì)讓他把沒(méi)完成的作業(yè)還給老師。”

Like many Chinese parents these days, he plans to administer after-school education himself — in a fun way. “I can teach him about physics by telling him the story of Archimedes while he’s in the shower,” he says. I hope my kids learnt that at school, since I surely wasn’t up to teaching them physics at bath time (and if you’re rusty on it, I can suggest a good infant cram school). Will he send his son for extra lessons after he finishes his primary school day? “Definitely not, unless he wants to,” says Mr Yang. Don’t let Tiger Mum hear you say that.

和現(xiàn)在的很多中國(guó)家長(zhǎng)一樣，他計(jì)劃自己給孩子實(shí)施課后教育——用一種寓教于樂(lè)的方式進(jìn)行。他說(shuō)：“他洗澡的時(shí)候，我會(huì)給他講阿基米德的故事，教他物理知識(shí)。”我希望我的孩子能在學(xué)校里學(xué)到這些，因?yàn)槲疫^(guò)去肯定沒(méi)打算在孩子洗澡的時(shí)候教他物理(如果你的物理生疏了，我可以給你推薦一個(gè)很好的幼兒補(bǔ)習(xí)班)。我問(wèn)他會(huì)不會(huì)在孩子放學(xué)后送他去補(bǔ)習(xí)班?“絕對(duì)不會(huì)，除非他自己想去，”楊說(shuō)。這番話可不能讓虎媽聽(tīng)到。