賴世雄高級美國英語教程Unit 34 English Small Talk Topics: What is ok and what is not?

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Hello everybody, welcome again to Radio English on Sunday. This is Bruce,
/ And this is Peter.
/ Today on page two hundred eighty eight, we take a look at unit thirty four, which is called "English small talk topics, what is ok and what is not? "
Now wait a minute, small talk, does this mean that we talk for a short time?
/ No.
/ Or short people talk? Well, what does this mean?
/ Well actually it is "chat" or "chitchat", something like that, ok.
/ I see, soemthing that it isn't so serious.
/ No, not at all. You know, it's for relaxing or something.
/ I see.

Well, let's take a look at small talk and what kind of topics are ok, if you want to speak to a foreigner whose native language is English. We'll begin, of course, the first paragraph here, on page two hundred eighty eight, if you just joined our program.

When in Roman, do as the Ramans do. What may be perfectly acceptable to talk about in one culture may offend or even shock others when ina different culture. Accordingly, it is important to know what topics are safe to discuss with stranger or acquaintances from a different background. Topics which can be discussed freely within a culture are referred to as small talk.

So the last sentence of this paragraph gives us a definition of "small talk". Topics which can be discussed freely within a culture are referred to as "small talk". We'll give you many examples of these topics in a moment, but the idea is very important. If in your culture, it's ok to talk about something, it may not be ok to talk about that, same topics, in a different culture. That's why we always tell you, When in Rome, do as the Romans do.
/ Oh, this lesson can be very very important for those who are studying English as a second language. Very likely in future you may have a chance to travel around, so you are in a foreign country, you are sure to do, or to (by by) the laws or..
/ Local customs?
/ Right there.
/ That's right, it's very good idea. People will sonsider you rude.
/ Small talk, 不能說成 Small talks. But what is the "sweet talk"?
/ "Sweet talk"? Well, you are now asking the right guy. :P
/ Oh, yeah?
/ That means usually the guy is trying to get the girl and he's telling her things that she wants to hear, right?
/ Yeah, 甜言蜜語羅。不過這個sweet talk還可以作動詞用哦。
To sweet talk somebody into doing something,
He sweet talked me into marrying him.
He sweet talked me into lending him my car.

Ok, next paragraph.

As with any other language, English has its onw stock of non-offensive topics. Among these are the weather, occupation, immediate conditions, family and family life and shool or work. Topics in English which should never be broached include one's personal life, physical appearance, unless complimentary, income and age, as well as religious, sexual, or political views. Each of these topics, both approved and taboo, will be discussed in more detail later.

After we told you in the first paragraph what small talk means, in the second paragraph we give you examples of the kind of topics which are considered small talk. We don't have to review them right now, because we're going to go into each one of those in detail throughout the rest of this lesson.
/..don't talke about one's physical appearance, unless complimentary. You look very handsome,
/ You look so..strong.
/ Everytime Bruce would say once he sees me, hey, here comes a ghost. a monster. :P
Remember one thing, all the girls are beautiful,
/ ..at heart. :P
/ ..uhh, not necessarily. All the girls are beautiful execpt that some are even more so.
/ It's a good example of "sweet talk". You wanted a good example, here is one from Peter. :P

Ok, let's continue over to the next page,

Small talk is extremely useful when first meeting others. Actually, one purpose of small talk is not to find out the answers to questions like "how are you?" or "nice day, isn't it?" but rather to gauge whether the person is the sort whom one would like to know better. While talking about essentially unimportant matters such as the weather, life in the office, or how many children, if any, one has, each speaker has the opportunity to determine whether the other is cooperative, interesting, potentially useful or friendly, etc. If a person answers the enquiry about the weather with a grunt or "I hate sunny days", no further energy need be wasted.

______gauge, v,
To determine the capacity, volume, or contents of.
測定確定容量、體積或內(nèi)容
To evaluate or judge:
評估；判斷：
gauge a person's ability.
評估一個人的能力

____grunt, v, n,
To utter a sound similar to a grunt, as in disgust.
發(fā)哼聲，咕噥發(fā)出類似呼嚕的聲音，如因出于厭惡
grunt
v.tr.
To utter or express with a deep, guttural sound:
咕噥著說出以深沉的喉音說出或表示：
He merely grunted his approval.
他只是咕噥了一聲以表示同意
vi.
(豬等)發(fā)低沉的咕嚕聲
(表示煩惱, 反對等)哼聲, 咕噥
牢騷
vt.
以低沉的聲音咕嚕著; 發(fā)(牢騷)

This paragraph tells us about one of the purposes of small talk. We might start out with the question like "how are you" or "nice day, isn't it?", well, we know it's a nice day. What, are you blind? Well, that might be true, but even the blind know whether it's good weather or not. So, that's not really the purpose to find out the answers to these questions, but to find out about the person. Maybe the person doesn't want to talk to you today; he is in bad mood, or depending on the answers you might (decide) "wow, what a friendly guy, I'd like to know him better". So, one of the purposes of small talk is to find out about the person, not the answers to the questions.
/ 有一個語法點要注意一下，
no further energy need be wasted. 這里的energy是不可數(shù)名詞，照理說應該用needs, 用needs可以，但后面要說needs to be wasted. 不過在否定句中這need可以作助動詞用，尤其跟not運用的時候，you need not do it, 這個時候就不可以說you need not to do it, 如果作動詞用，前面要加doesn't. He doesn't need to do it,
如果前面有no, no one need do it, 這里是助動詞的用法了。作動詞用是這樣，no one needs to do it.
/ Excellent teaching point there, Peter. Very good.
/ Thank you.

Well, let's go on to the next paragraph. 8:26

Another purpose of small talk, once a speaker is satisfied that the other person is worth talking with, is to explore possible areas of interest or cooperation. By tactfully going through safe topics, some information may be revealed, which leads the speaker into a deeper discussion, espcially when the topic is a shared hobby or interest. Talking about the weather may reveal that one speaker enjoys recreation, like camping or hiking. Shooting the breeze about one's family may disclose similar shared family hobbies like board or card games, or barbecues and picnics. In other words, small talk may serve as probing of the other person's personality and lifestyle.

______worth,
Equal in value to something specified:
等值的與特定的某物價值相等的：
worth its weight in gold.
與其等量重的黃金價值相等
Deserving of; meriting:
值得的；應得的：
a proposal not worth consideration.
不值得考慮的提案
adj.
[用作表語, 后接名詞或動名詞作賓語]
值, 相等于...的價值
值得...的, 有...的價值的
擁有...價值的財產(chǎn)
What is it worth?
(或How much is it worth?)這值多少錢?
It is worth
￡500. 它值五百鎊。
It's not worth the paper it's printed on.
它(文章等)的價值抵不上用來印它的紙張。
The rarer it is, the more it is worth.
物以稀為貴。
It's worth seeing [hearing, reading]
值得一看[一聽, 一讀]
be worth notice [the trouble]
值得注意[費點事]
It is worth while visiting [to visit] the place.
這地方值得參觀。
It is worth while to discuss [discussing] the problem.
這個問題值得討論一下。
He is worth a million.
他是百萬富翁。
adj, prep
值…的；價值…的
a car worth $20000
價值2萬美元的一輛小汽車
How much is this bicycle worth? It's worth ￡50.
這輛自行車值多少錢？值50英磅。
值得…的
It isn't worth waiting for him.
不值得等他。
n
價值
the true worth of one's friendship
某人友誼的真正價值
books of real worth
真正有價值的書

_____worthy,
Having worth, merit, or value; useful or valuable.
有價值的具有價值或優(yōu)點的；有用的或有價值的
Honorable; admirable:
可敬可佩的值得尊敬的；值得欽佩的：
a worthy fellow.
可敬可佩的人
Having sufficient worth; deserving:
值得的有充分價值的；該得到的：
worthy to be revered; worthy of acclaim.
值得受人尊敬的；值得稱贊的
adj.
有價值的; 有意義的; 配得上的; 可尊敬的, 相稱的
[常作表語, 其后常跟被動語態(tài)動詞不定式或of加名詞或被動態(tài)動名詞] 值得...的; 應該...的
a worthy cause
正義的事業(yè)
a worthy life
有價值的生活
a worthy man
高尚的人
a worthy opponent
勁敵
a worthy gentleman
可敬的先生
a man worthy of praise [to be praised]
值得稱贊的人
acts worthy of punishment
應該受處分的行為
She says she helps only the worthy poor.
她說她只幫助那些值得她去幫助的窮人(不包括那些她認為好吃懶做等不配取得幫助的人)。
They will prove worthy of the Party's trust.
他們不會辜負黨對他們的信任。
He is worthy to have a place in the team.
他配成為該球隊的隊員。
This book is worthy of being read [to be read].
這本書值得一讀。

tactful, --->tactfully, adv,
Possessing or exhibiting tact; considerate and discreet:
機敏的,謹慎的具有或表現(xiàn)出機敏的；為他人著想的和謹慎的：
a tactful person; a tactful remark.
機敏的人；謹慎的話語

probe, n, v,
To explore with or as if with a probe:
用或似用探針進行探測：
probe a wound to find its extent; probing the anthill with a stick.
探查傷口以確定其大?。挥霉魈綔y蟻穴
To delve into; investigate.
調(diào)查；查究
probe
v.intr.
To conduct an exploratory investigation; search.
進行探索性的調(diào)查；搜尋
刺探; 調(diào)查; 查究
probe a matter to the bottom
徹底調(diào)查一件事
探查；探尋；深挖
She tried to probe my mind and discover what I was thinking.(喻)
"她試圖探查我的心意,想知道我在想什么。"
調(diào)查；刺探
to probe rumors to the bottom
徹查謠言來源

Well, here's another function of small talk or purpose. At first we use small talk to find out if this is the kind of person I want to get to know. If we feel that "oh, this guy's ok", if we keep using small talk, we may learn more about the person's personality or lifestyle, and find out whether "oh, you like to do this, too? You like boarding? oh, so do I. " or "you enjoy collecting this sort of things? So do I. Maybe we can get together. " So small talk may seem small to some people, but it serves to very good purposes.
/ Line three, by tactfully going through "safe topics", 這個tactfully, 就是很圓滑地，很有技巧地，He knows how to deal with people, then we say he's tactful, or rather he's sophisticated. He knows the art, that is an art, in dealing with people, 但如果一個人不懂這些的，tactless, 不老練的，不圓滑的，
/ I know that word.

Ok, let's go ahead. We'll finish this page and go on to the next.

Everybody complains about the weather, but nobody ever does anything about it, so goes an old saying. Perhaps the safest of all small talk topics is the weather. Whether good or bad, a comment about the temperature or sky condition, sunny day, cloudy day, rainy day 11:19 etc. never offends. Commenting on the crowded traffic or the late bus, or high prices in the department store, immediate conditions is also appropriate. Similarly, most people do not mind talking about their work, family or school life, either, since for most people, these are experiences held in common. Even so, asking whether someone is married or not crosses over into personal information, and therefore should be avoided. If the speaker happens to mention that he or she has children or is married, however, it is alright to pursue the topic.

So we start out talking about a safe small talk topic, the weather, also, immediate conditions. What is going on around the speakers as they are waiting for something? You may be waiting in a line to buy tickets, or waiting in a line to buy food in a fast food restaurant, and you see somebody in front of you, maybe you want to start a conversation to meet then or get to know more about them, you could say, "gee, what is it all slow here?" or "well, the service here isn't bad, is it?" You might start according to immediate conditions. However, we should not go too quickly into personal information. Some students have asked some of my colleagues who are single, but the student didn't know that, rather tactless questions. For example, "are you married?" , well, that might seem like an ok question, but not to American, that is considered personal. Then when my colleague asked "well, no, I am not," the student asked, "why not?" which is even more tactless.
/...
/ That's ok, and then maybe the westerner, or foreigner, will tell you how much it cost, but usually we don't discuss money, unless it's something like "how much for the movie ticket, how much is the cab fare", and taxi fare, and things like this. That's ok, but not things personal.
/ to comment on something, comment + on,
He refused to comment on the issue.
He refused to make comments on the issue.

Well, now we are on the final page of our lesson. Let's take a look at the first paragraph.

Asking such questions as "how much do you weigh? how old are you?" or "how much do you earn?" are taboo in English, at least as starters for conversation. Only when friends are close would they ask such questions of each other. Likewise, for most people, religious or political convictions or sexual mores are considered private matters. These should not be discussed until one speaker offers his opinion first. It is not necessary, though, to respond in kind. The other speaker can change the subject to show that this is a taboo subject.

Well, we gave you examples of personal information. Your weight, your age, your income, as the first three questions of this paragraph. We do not talk about such things, especially at first, not with strangers or acquaintances; only with close friends. We don't even begin to talk about religious, political or sexual topics unless one of the friends starts to ask, but this does not mean that you are required to answer. You could politely change the subject. For example, "oh, I see. By the way..." and then you start to talk about different topics. Your friend won't be offended, because your friend realizes that you are not ready to talk about this subject yet, they are still too personal for you, and that's ok.
/ ..hey, remember to pay me back the money!
Oh, I see, by the way ....shall we go on a picnic tomorrow?
likewise, --->by the same token,
Hey, you should do your best to help the poor, likewise at home you should do your best help your parents. ..you should do your best to help the poor, by the same token, at home your should ...同樣地，...

Now let's finish it.

Foreigners are usually forgiven the indiscretion of asking others of offending questions. Still, it is not a good idea to wear out one's welcome. When a subject has been turned down, only a tactless person will persue it. Being sensitive to others' feelings and sense of privacy will win more friends and influence more people than a reckless line of questioning. When curiosity seems to be getting the upper hand, remember that silence is golden.

_______reckless,
Heedless or careless.
粗心的不注意的或粗心大意的
Headstrong; rash.
魯莽的草率的；莽撞的
Indifferent to or disregardful of consequences:
不顧后果的對后果不關(guān)心或忽視的：
a reckless driver.
橫沖直撞的司機
adj.
不注意的; 粗心大意的
魯莽的; 不顧一切的
be reckless of the consequences
毫不顧及后果
be reckless of expenditure
亂花錢
be reckless of
不注意
Such reckless spending is a crime.
如此揮霍是一種罪惡。
_____to get the upper hand, to have the upper hand.
A position of control or advantage.
上風，優(yōu)勢控制或有利的地位
_____mores,
The accepted traditional customs and usages of a particular social group.
習俗，慣例為特定社會集團或群體所接受的傳統(tǒng)風俗和習慣
Moral attitudes.
道德態(tài)度
Manners; ways.
風格；方式

So here, we first..remind that maybe you will ask question which someone considers taboo or very very personal, and this person will try to change the subject, or show you, usually in a polite way, that "I would rather not talk about that". Don't ask "why not, why won't you tell me?", that will be a rectless line of questioning. Ok, just change the subject. I am sure there are other ideas or other qualities of the person that you can find out about without offending that particular person. And if you are not sure, remember, silence is golden.
/...(he sings, "silence is golden, golden..."
/ That's a beautiful song.
/ curiosity,
Curiosity killed the cat. 這個kill要用過去式。好奇心會把貓殺死？
/ Well, here my ..pretty good place to use it. If you want to start a relationship with somebody, and you are nauturally curious, we all are, you might start to ask more questions than the person you are interested in really wants to answer, so now you have a choice to make. Are you going to be curious and not control yourself and lose this relationship? Or kill the cat, in this case? Or are you going to be tactful, and perhaps later you will find out the answers to those questions, after you do become close friends. So you have to control this desire to learn everything about somebody right away, if you don't, you will kill the relationship, jsut as the cat can get into serious trouble if it looks in the wrong places out of curiosity.
嘿，不要好奇哦，否則會惹麻煩啊。
Hey, don't be too nosy.
/I am really glad you brought this up. If someone says, please don't be nosy or "you are too nosy," there is an example of that you are ready to kill the cat; you are talking about the taboo subject. Another way people may try to stop you asking questions is "mind your own business. " When you hear that, you are also close to the taboo. Don't go any further.
/...to wear out one's welcome. 人家請客，你一直在那里聊天，11點了還不走，12點了還在聊。。
/..not only that..but..can I have some more beer? Oh, you don't have any? Go out and get some.
/ .. you are wearing out your welcome; you have already worn out your welcome. 你已經(jīng)不再受歡迎的意思。

______金山詞霸：wear out one's welcome
v.呆得太久而不受歡迎

/ ..yeah, I remember that when you came to my house..

Ok, let's go back and finish up our re-reading of English small talk topics, what is ok and what is not.

_____prevail over, 也有占上風，勝過..的意思。

______________Pan. 2003. 6

******************************************************************************************************************
Unit 34

English Small Talk Topics: What is ok and what is not? 慎選英語閑聊話題

"When in Rome, do as the Romans do." What may be perfectly acceptable to talk about in one culture may offend or even shock others when in a different culture. Accordingly, it is important to know what topics are "safe" to discuss with strangers or acquaintances from a different background. Topics which can be discussed freely within a culture are referred to as "small talk".
As with any other language, English has its own stock of non-offensive topics. Among these are the weather, occupation, immediate conditions, family and family life, and school or work. Topics in English which should never be broached include one's personal life, physical appearance (unless complimentary), income, and age as well as religious, sexual, or political views. Each of these topics---both approved and taboo---will be discussed in more detail later.
Small talk is extremely useful when first meeting others. Actually, one purpose of small talk is not to find out the answer to questions like "How are you?" or "Nice day, isn't it?" but rahter to gauge whether the person is the sort whom one would like to know better. While talking about essentially unimportant matters such as the weather, life in the office, or how many children---if any---one has, each speaker has the opportunity to determine whether the other is cooperative, interesting, potentially useful or friendly, etc. If a person answers the inquiry about the weather with a grunt or "I hate sunny days," no further energy need be wasted!
Another purpose of small talk, once a speaker is satisfied that the other person is worth talking with, is to explore possible areas of interest or cooperation. By tactfully going through "safe topics," some information may be revealed which leads the speaker(s) into a deeper discussion, especially when a topic is a shared hobby or interest. Talking about the weather may reveal that one speaker enjoys recreation like camping or hiking. Shooting the breeze about one's family may disclose similar shared family hobbies like board or card games or barbecues and picnics. In other words, small talk may serve as probing of the other person's personality and lifestyle.
"Everybody complains about the weather, but nobody ever does anything about it," so goes an old saying. Perhaps the safest of all small talk topics is the weather. Whether good or bad, a comment about the temperature or sky condition (sunny day, cloudy day, rainy day, etc. ) never offends. Commenting on the crowded traffic or the late bus, or high prices in the department store (immediate conditions) is also always appropriate. Similarly, most people do not mind talking about their work, family, or school life, either, since for most people these are experiences held in common. Even so, asking whether someone is married or not crosses over into personal information and therefore should be avoided. If the speaker happens to mention that he or she has children or is married, however, it is all right to pursue the topic.
Asking such questions as "How much do you weigh? How old are you?" or "How much do you earn?" are taboo in English, at least as starters for conversation. Only when friends are close would they ask such questions of each other. Likewise, for most people, religious or political convictions or exual mores are considered private matters. These should not be discussed until one speaker offers his opinion first. It is not necessary, though, to respond in kind. The other speaker can change the subject to show that this is a taboo subject.
Foreigners are usually "forgiven" the "indiscretion" of asking others offending questions. Still, it is not a good idea to wear out one's welcome. When a subject has been turned down, only a tactless person would pursue it. Being sensitive to others' feelings and sense of privacy will win more friends and influence more people than a reckless line of questioning. When curiosity seems to be getting the upper hand, remember that "Silence is golden."

*************************************************************************************************************************
acquaintance, n, 認識的人
He is no friend of mine; he's just a nodding acquaintance.
make one's acquaintance, 認識某人　
I made his acquaintance long before I went to college.

refer to A as B, 把A稱做B，
You can refer to a Toyota as a car, but you cannot refer to a car as a Toyota.
你可以稱豐田是一輛車，但卻不能把任何車叫做豐田。

broach, v, 提及，談到，talk about,
At the meeting, Gary broached the subject of salary raises to the boss.

grunt n, 咕嚕聲，怨言
We could hear a fierce grunt of pain as the deer was shot down by the hunter.

tactfully, adv, 圓滑地，技巧地,機智－－－＞tactless, 不教練的，
Jack is tactful in dealing with people.

shoot the breeze, 閑聊，瞎扯
The young men were sitting on their motorcycles and shooting the breeze; they obviously had nothing to do.

probe, v, 探索，探究，explore,
The mayor instructed the police to probe thoroughly into the case. 市長指示警方徹查本案。

..so goes the old saying,
so goes an old saying,
As the old saying goes,
As the old saying puts it,

comment, n, + on, ，可數(shù)。v, +on
make a comment on...
I don't feel that I should comment on Helen's transgressions.
Don't make comments on matters which don't concern you.

indiscretion, n, 言行不檢?？蓴?shù)或不可數(shù)皆可。－－＞discretion.
indiscreet, adj, 言行不檢的，不謹慎的，－－－＞discreet,

reckless, adj, 魯莽的，不顧一切的，
A reckless driver is likely to get caught in a traffic addident.
The soldiers are fighting against the enemy, reckless of danger.

get the upper hand, 占上風，have the upper hand,
Our basketball team got the upper hand in the second half.