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新視野大學英語讀寫教程第一冊unit4-c Gestures

所屬教程:新視野大學英語讀寫教程第一冊

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Section C

Gestures

A smile is a strong sign of a friendly and open attitude and a willingness to communicate. It is a positive, silent sign sent with the hope the other person will smile back. When you smile, you show you have noticed the person in a positive way. The other person considers it a compliment(敬意)and will usually feel good. The result? That person will usually smile back.
Smiling does not mean you have to put on a false face or pretend you are happy all of the time. When you see someone you know, or would like to make contact with, smile. You are showing an open attitude to conversation.
You might not realize a closed position is the cause of many conversational problems. A common closed position is sitting with your arms and legs crossed and your hand covering your mouth or chin(下巴). This is often called the "thinking pose(姿勢)". Ask yourself this question: Are you going to interrupt someone who appears to be deep in thought? This position gives off "stay away" signs and prevents your main "sign sender" (your mouth) from being seen by others looking for inviting conversational signs. Without these inviting signs, others will most likely stay away from you and look for someone who appears to be ready for contact.
To improve this habitual way of standing or sitting, start by keeping your hands away from your mouth, and keep your arms uncrossed. Crossed arms may show a rigid state of mind, not especially inviting to outside contact. They can also show a lack of patience, displeasure, or judgment — any of which would prevent people from opening up.
The open body position is most effective when you place yourself within communicating distance of the other person — that is, within about five feet. Take care, however, not to enter someone's "personal space" by getting too close, too soon.
Leaning(靠)forward a little while a person is talking shows your interest and shows you are listening to what the person is saying. By doing this, you are saying: I hear what you're saying, and I'm interested — keep talking! This is usually a compliment that will encourage him to continue talking.
Often people will lean back with their hands over their mouth, chin, or behind their head in the "thinking" pose. This position gives off signs of judgment, doubt, and lack of interest from the listener. Since most people do not feel comfortable when they think they are being judged, this leaning-back position serves to prevent the speaker from continuing. It's far better to lean forward a little in a relaxed and natural way.
In many cultures the most common form of first contact between two people is a handshake. This is true when meeting members of the same or opposite sex — and not just in work, but in social situations, too. In nearly every situation, a warm and firm handshake is a safe and positive way of showing an open and friendly attitude toward the people you meet.
Be the first to extend your hand in greeting. Couple this with a friendly "Hello", a nice smile, and your name and you have made the first step to open the lines of communication between you and another person.
The strongest gestures are sent through the eyes. Direct eye contact shows you are listening to the other person, and that you want to know about her.
Eye contact should be natural, not forced or overdone. Have short periods of eye contact while you watch other parts of the person's face — especially the mouth. When the person smiles, be sure to smile back. But always make an effort to return your gaze(注視)to the person’s eyes as she speaks. It is common to look up, down, and all around when speaking to others, and not have eye contact at all times.
Too much eye contact, especially if it is forced, can work against you. If you stare at a person, or leer(斜視)in a suspicious(懷疑的)way, the other person may feel uncomfortable and even suspicious about your intent(意圖). A fixed stare can seem like aggressive behavior if it is a challenge as to who will look away first.

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   姿勢

    微笑是一種表明友好、坦誠態(tài)度,并樂于與人交流的強烈信號。 這是一種積極的、無聲的信號,發(fā)出這個信號的人希望別人也以微笑回報。 如果你微笑,就表明你以一種積極的方式注意到了那個人。 對方就會把這看作一種友好的表示,并且通常會感到愉快。結(jié)果呢?那個人通常以微笑回報。
    微笑并不意味著你必須戴上一副假面具,或是假裝一直都挺快樂。 當你看到某個你所認識的人,或是想和他接觸,就微笑吧。你這是在表明你樂于與他交談的明確態(tài)度。
    你也許沒有意識到,封閉的姿態(tài)是使許多交談出現(xiàn)問題的原因。 一種最常見的封閉的姿態(tài)就是雙臂和雙腿交叉坐著,手蓋在嘴或下巴上。 這常被稱為“深思姿勢”。 問問你自己這個問題:你是否會去打擾一個看上去正處于沉思中的人? 這個姿勢發(fā)出的信號是“離遠點”,使得別人看不見你的主要“信號發(fā)送器(嘴)”,而他們正在尋找吸引其交談的信號。 沒有了這些吸引人交談的信號,別人就很有可能遠離你,而去尋找那些看上去愿意與人交往的人。
    要改變這種習慣性的站姿或坐姿,你應該一開始就別用手捂著你的嘴,并且別再把雙臂交叉起來。 雙臂交叉也許顯露出一種嚴格死板心態(tài),這尤其不會吸引別人的交往。 交叉雙臂還會向人暗示你缺乏耐心、心中不快,或者正在判斷別人,其任何一點都會阻止別人向你暢開胸懷。
    當你處于與他人交流的距離-即約五英尺以內(nèi)時,采取開放的身體姿勢,效果最佳。 但要注意,不要過快地靠別人太近,以免進入別人的“個人空間”。
    在別人說話時,你身體稍向前傾可以表明你的興趣以及你在聽他說話。 這樣做你就是在告訴他:我聽到了你說的話,而且我也很感興趣 - 請往下說吧! 這種表示通常是對他的贊賞,會鼓勵他繼續(xù)說下去。
    人們常常把雙手放在嘴上、下巴上或者腦后,身體后傾,作“思考”狀。 這樣的姿勢發(fā)出的信號是聽者正在評判、抱有懷疑,以及缺乏興趣。 由于大多數(shù)人想到自己正受到他人評判會感到不舒服,因此這種身體后傾的姿勢容易阻止說話者繼續(xù)說下去。 而身體從容自然地稍向前傾,這種姿勢就好多了。
    在許多文化環(huán)境里,兩個人初次接觸的最常見的方式就是握手。 無論遇到同性或是異性,在工作中或是在社交場合中,都是這樣。 幾乎在所有的場合中,熱情而有力的握手都是一種安全而積極的做法,向你所遇到的人表明你開放、友好的態(tài)度。
    在問候別人時先伸出你的手,并伴著友善的“你好”和讓人愉悅的微笑,再報上自己的名字,這樣,你就在與另一個人開始交流的道路上走出了第一步。
    最有力的信號是由眼睛發(fā)出的。 直接的目光接觸表明你在聽別人說話,并且想了解她。
    目光的接觸應該自然,而不要勉強或過度。 在你注視對方面部的其他部分--特別是嘴部時,與對方目光進行短暫的接觸。 當其微笑時,你一定也要回報以微笑。但她說話的時候,你總盡量以注視她的眼睛相報。 而你自己對別人說話時,向上、向下、以及向四周看看,這都很平常,你不必一直保持與對方目光的接觸。
    目光接觸過多,特別是如果這些接觸很勉強的話,會產(chǎn)生不利于你的效果。假如你盯住一個人看,或是用懷疑的目光斜視,對方也許會感到不舒服,甚至會懷疑你的意圖。 目不轉(zhuǎn)睛的盯視會被看成是一種攻擊性的行為,仿佛雙方是在比拼,看誰先把目光移開。

 

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