老友記第一季The One With the Ick Factor

The One With the Ick Factor

(Scene: Central Perk. Everyone is there.)

Monica: Tell him.

Rachel: No.

Phoebe: Tell him, tell him.

Monica: Just...please tell him.

Rachel: Shut up!

Chandler: Tell me what?

Monica: Look at you, you won't even look at him.

Chandler: (sarcastically) Oh, come on tell me. I could use another reason why women won't look at me.

Rachel: All right, all right, all right. Last night, I had a dream that, uh, you and I, were...

Phoebe: Doing it on this table. (points at the table)

Chandler: Wow!

Joey: Exellent dream score.

Ross: Why, why, why would you dream that?

Chandler: More importantly, was I any good?

Rachel: Well, you were pretty damn good.

Chandler: Interesting, cause in my dreams, I'm allways surprisingly inadequate. (Monica pats him on his lap)

Rachel: Well, last night you seemed to know your way around the table.

Ross: I love it, when we share.

(Ross goes over to the counter. Chandler follows him.)

Chandler: You're okay there?

Ross: I can't belive you two had sex in her dream.

Chandler: I'm sorry, it was a one-time-thing. I was very drunk and i was somebody else's subconscious.

Opening Credits

[Scene: Central Perk, continued from earlier, Chandler is sitting on the table.]

Chandler: Hello Rachel.

Rachel: Get off.

Phoebe: (points at Joey's pen) Uh, uh, gimme. Can you see me operating a drill press?

Joey: I don't know. What are you wearing?

(Chandler, Monica and Phoebe looks at him)

Ross: Pheebs, why would you want to operate a drill press?

Phoebe: Just for some short-term-work. You know, until I get back some of my massage clients.

Chandler: Pirates again?

Phoebe: No, nothing like that. I was just...such a dummie. I taught this "massage-yourself-at-home-workshop." And they are.

Joey: Hey, hey, Chan. She could work for you.

Chandler: (sarcasticly) Thanks Joey, that's a good idea.

Phoebe: What... I could, I could do it. What is it?

Chandler: Well, my secretary is gonna be out for a couple of weeks. She is having one of her boobs redused. (Ross looks at her.) It's a whole big boob story.

Phoebe: I could be a secretary.

Chandler: Well, you know Phoebs. I don't know if it's your kinda thing, because it involves a lot of being normal. For a large portion of the day.

Phoebe: I could do that.

(Ross's beeper goes off)

Rachel: What are you playing with?

Ross: Oh, it's my new beeper.

Joey: What the hell does a paleontologist need a beeper for?

Monica: Is it like for dinosaur emergencies. 'Help, come quick, they're still extinct.'

Ross: No, it's for when Carol goes into labor. She can get me wherever I am. I mean, all she has to do is to dial 55-JIMBO.

Chandler: A cool phone number, and a possible name for the kid.

Monica: All right, I'll see you guys later. (raises)

Rachel: Off to see young Ethan?

Monica: Thank you.

Joey: How young is young Ethan? Young?

Monica: He's... our age.

Chandler: When we were?

Monica: Okay, he's a senior in college.

Ross: College?

Chandler: Whoa! And this manchild has no problem with how old you are?

Monica: No, of course not. It's not even an issue. Cause I told him I was 22.

All: What?

Monica: Oh, I can't pass for 22?

Phoebe: Well, maybe 25-26.

Monica: I am 26.

Phoebe: There you go.

[Scene: Chandler's office, he and Phoebe are there when the phone starts ringing.]

Chandler: Can you hear that?

Phoebe: (plays with a thumbtack remover) Yeah?

Chandler: See that'll stop when you pick up the phone.

Phoebe: Oh. Uh, I'm on. (picks up the phone)

Phoebe: (with a deep voice) Mr. Bing's office. (Listens) No I'm sorry, he's in a meeting right now.

Chandler: I'm not in a meeting. I'm right... Whoops.

Phoebe: Will he know what this is in reference to? (Listens) And he has your number? (Listens) All right, I'll see that he gets the message. Bye bye.

Chandler: What?

Phoebe: Ross says hi.

Chandler: Ah!

Phoebe: This is so fun. All right, what do we do now?

Chandler: Well, now, I actually have to get to work.

Phoebe: Most likely. (raises and goes toward the door) Okay, I'm gonna be out there.

Chandler: Okay.

Phoebe: All right. Bye bye.

Chandler: Bye bye.

(The intercom buzzes)

Chandler: (answering it) Yes?

Phoebe: Whatcha doin'?

Chandler: Ooh. (leans against the desk)

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are there. Monica is just finishing cleaning the windows.]

Monica: Windows are clean, candels are lit. Uh, belt's to tight, gotta change the belt. Did I turn the fish? (goes over to the kitchen to check on the dinner) No, cause I made lasagne. (to Rachel) Am I out of control?

Rachel: Just a touch. Mon, I don't understand. I mean, you've been dating this guy since like, what... his midterms? I mean, why all the sudden are you so... Oh.

Monica: What?

Rachel: Could tonight be the Night?

Monica: I don't know. Look he's a great guy and I love being with him but... you know. Things happen, and they happen. You don't plan these things.

Rachel: So, did you shave your legs?

Monica: Yeah.

Rachel: A-ha!

[Scene: Central Perk. Joey and Ross are there.]

Joey: Would you let it go Ross. It was just a dream. It doesn't mean...

(Ross's beeper goes off)

Ross: Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh this is it. Oh my god it's baby time. Baby time.

Joey: All right, relax, relax. Just relax, just relax. Be cool, be cool.

(Ross dials a number on his cellular phone)

Ross: (on phone) Yeah, hi, I was just beeped. (pause) No, Andr?is not here. (to Joey) Third time today. (on phone) Yes, I'm sure... No, sir. I don't perform those kind of services.

Joey: Services? (Ross looks at him) Oh, services.

Ross: (on phone) Yeah, you want 55-JUMBO. Yeah, that's right. That's right, JUMBO with a U, sir. (pause) No, belive me, you don't want me. Judging by his number, I'd be a huge disappointment. (pause) All rightie, bye bye.

(Phoebe and Chandler enter)

Joey: Hey, hey. How was the first day?

Phoebe: Oh, exellent. Everyone was so, so nice.

Chandler: See, it pays to know the man who wears my shoes. (Joey and Ross wonder what he means) Me.

Phoebe: No, I didn't tell anybody that I knew you.

Chandler: Why not?

Phoebe: Oh, because, you know... they don't like you.

Chandler: What?!

Phoebe: I thought you knew that.

Chandler: Noho. Who doesn't they like me?

Phoebe: Everyone. Except for uh... no everyone.

Chandler: What are you talking about?

Phoebe: Don't feel bad. You know they used to like you a lot. But then you got promoted, and, you know, now you're like "Mr. Boss Man". You know, Mr. Bing. Mr. Bing, "Boss Man Bing".

(Joey and Ross laughs)

Chandler: I can't belive it.

Phoebe: Yeah, yeah. They even do you.

Chandler: They do me?

Phoebe: You know like... uh okay... uh... 'Could that report be any later?'

(Joey and Ross laughs)

Chandler: I don't sound like that.

Ross: Oh, oh Chandler...

Joey: Oh... Yeah, you do.

Ross: 'The hills were alive with the sound of music.'

(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laughs)

Joey: (reaches for hi scones) My scones.

Phoebe, Joey, and Ross: 'My scones.'

(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laughs again)

Chandler: Okay, I don't sound like that. That is so not true.

(Joey and Chandler laughs)

Chandler: That is so not... That is so not... That... Oh, shut up!

(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laugh)

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Young Ethan are sitting in the couch.]

Monica: Did not.

Young Ethan: I am telling you, up until I was, like nine, I thought that gunpoint was an actual place where crimes happen.

Monica: How was that possible?

Young Ethan: Well, think about it. It's always on the news. 'A man is being held up, at gunpoint.' 'Tourists are being terrorised, at gunpoint.' And I just kept thinking: why does people continue to go there? (He checks his watch.) Oh, ah. I should go.

Monica: Okay.

(They kiss)

Young Ethan: Okay.

Monica: Unless...

Young Ethan: What?

Monica: Uh, ah. Unless you wanna stay over? I mean, I'm going to, so...

Young Ethan: Yeah, I'd really like that.

(They kiss)

Young Ethan: Uuh, before we get into any staying-over-stuff, there is something you should know.

Monica: Okay, is this like 'I have an early class tomorrow' or 'I'm secretly married to a goat?'

Young Ethan: Well it's somewhere in between. You see, in a strictly technical sense, of course, I'm not uh..., well I, I mean I haven't ever uh...

Monica: Ethan?

Young Ethan: Yeah?

Monica: Are you a virgin?

Young Ethan: Well, if that's what you kids are calling it these days then, yes I am. I uh, I've kinda been waiting for the right person.

Monica: Really?

Young Ethan: Yeah. You do know I was talking about you, right?

(They kiss)

[Time lapse. They are now in Monica's bedroom, on the bed.]

Young Ethan: Wow!

Monica: You keep saying that.

Young Ethan: You know, you read about it, you see it in the movies. Even when you practice it at home, man oh man, it is nothing like that.

(They kiss)

Monica: Listen, uh, you told me something that was really difficult for you. And I, I-I figured if you could be honest, then I can to.

Young Ethan: Oh god, don't tell me, I did it wrong.

Monica: No-no. Nothing wrong about that.

Young Ethan: Oh.

Monica: Um, okay, here it goes. I'm not 22. I'm, I'm 25... and thirteen months.

Young Ethan: Huh!

Monica: But I figured, you know, that shouldn't change anything. I mean, what the hell does it matter how old we are.

(They kiss)

Young Ethan: Uh, listen um, as long as we're telling stuff, uh, I have another one for you. I'm a little younger than I said.

Monica: You're not a senior?

Young Ethan: Oh, I'm a senior... in High School.

Monica: Ok...ay.

Commercial Break

[Scene: Monica's Bedroom, continued from earlier.]

Monica: What we did was wrong. Oh god, I just had sex with somebody that wasn't alive during the Bicentennial.

Young Ethan: I just had sex.

Monica: Ethan, focus. How could you not tell me?

Young Ethan: Well, you never told me how old you were.

Monica: Well, that's different. My lie didn't make one of us a felon in 48 states. What were you thinking?

Young Ethan: I wasn't thinking. I was too busy fallin'...

Monica: Don't say it. (closes Ethan's mouth with her hand)

Young Ethan: ...in love with you.

Monica: Really?

Young Ethan: (nods) Sorry.

Monica: Well,fall out of it. You know, you shouldn't even be here, it's a school night. Oh god, oh god. I'm like those women that you see with shiny guys named Chad. I'm Joan Collins.

Young Ethan: Who?

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone exept Monica is there.]

Ross: (on phone) Okay, Andr?should be there in like 45 minutes. All rightie, bye bye. (to Phoebe) Just easier that way.

Chandler: Oh, come on. You told me about the last dream.

Rachel: No, forget it.

Chandler: Oh, why not. Was I doing anything particularly... saucy?

Rachel: All right, fine. Um, you were not the only one there. (Camera fades to Ross, who's listening very carefully) Joey was there too.

Joey: All right. (Moves closer.)

Ross: Was there...uh, huh, huh, huh... andybody, anybody else there.

Rachel: No.

Ross: You're sure? Nobody uh, handed out uh, mints or anything?

Rachel: No, it was just the three of us.

Ross: Huh!

Joey: So, tell me. Was it like you and Chandler, and then you and me, or you and me and Chandler?

Rachel: (laughs) You know what?

Joey: What?

Rachel: There were times when it wasn't even me.

(Chandler and Joey laughs, until they look at each other then recoil in horror.)

Phoebe: That is so sweet, you guys. (hugs them)

(Monica enters, wearing a walkman, so she doesn't hear what the others say)

Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe: Hey, Mon.

Rachel: Mon, Ethan called again. Mon?

All: (shouting) Mon!

(Monica takes of her walkman)

Monica: What?

Rachel: Ethan called again.

Monica: Oh.

Ross: Are you not seeing him anymore?

Monica: No. You know, sometimes just things doesn't work out.

Chandler: And this has nothing to do with the fact that he needs a note to get out of gym.

(Monica stares at Rachel)

Rachel: I, I didn't say any... I sw... I did not say anything, I swear. He stopped by.

Joey: Listen, the next time you talk to him, can you ask him which one the strongest Power Ranger is?

(Ross and Chandler laughs)

Ross: Oh, yeah.

Monica: Ha,ha, ha, oh my life is just so amusing. Could we drop it now?

Joey, Chander, and Ross: Sorry.

Ross: It's morphin time!

Joey: Stegosaurus!

Chandler: Tyrannosaurus!

(They all cross they're arms like the Power Rangers do)

Phoebe: Ooh, oh, I've gotta go. (raises) Whoa, oh, head rush. One more, and then I have to go. (sits down, and then raises again) Cool!

Rachel: Where are you going?

Phoebe: Um, oh, I've got a birthday party, with some work people.

Chandler: Work people? Nobody told me.

Phoebe: No, I know. That's a part of the whole, you know, them-not-liking-you-extravaganza.

Chandler: You know, I don't get this. A month ago, these people were my friends. You know, just because I'm in charge doesn't mean I'm a different person.

Phoebe: Well, then you should come tonight. You know, just hang out with them. Let them see what a great guy you still are.

Chandler: You think I should?

Phoebe: I really do, yeah.

Chandler: Okay.

Phoebe: Okay.

Chandler: Okay.

Phoebe: Oh, but, could we not go together? I,I don't wanna be the geek that invited the boss.

[Scene: Chandler's office, he and Phoebe are taking a break from work.]

Chandler: I Think last night was great. You know, the Karaoke thing. Tracy and I doing Ebony and Ivory.

Phoebe: You were great. But they still made fun of you.

Chandler: What?

Phoebe: You know, now you're more like, you know like, "Mr. Caring Boss," "Mr.", you know, "I'm one of you, Boss," "Mr., I wanna be your buddy, Boss Man Bing!"

Chandler: Then, I don't get it.

Phoebe: Well, you know what Chandler? I think you've gotta face it. You're like, the guy in the big office, you know. You're the one that hires them, that fires them... They still say you're a great boss.

Chandler: They do?

Phoebe: Uh huh. But they're not your friends anymore.

Chandler: I just wan't to...

Phoebe: No, but you can't.

Chandler: But I just wa...

Phoebe: Uh uh.

[Scene: Central Perk. Everyone exept Phoebe and Chandler is there. Ross's beeper goes off and everyone exept him react.]

Monica: Aren't you gonna...

Ross: Oh, Carol and I have a new system. If she punches in 911, it means she's having a baby, otherwise I just ignore it.

Joey: What about Andr?

Ross: Oh, well this morning he got a call from who I think was our cousin Nathan, and frankly, it was a little more than I needed to know.

(Ethan enters)

Young Ethan: Hey.

Monica: That was gonna be my opener.

Rachel: (understands that Monica and Ethan wanna be alone) Hey, did you guys check out those new hand-dryers in the bathroom?

Ross: I thought that was just a rumour.

Rachel: True story.

Joey: They're here already?

(Rachel, Ross and Ross go to the bathroom)

Young Ethan: All right, look. I've gotta tell you something. I'm not 17. I only said so that you'd think I was cute and vunerable. I'm actually 30, I have a wife, I have a job, I'm your Congressman. Monica, this is ridiculous, we're great together. We can talk, we make each other laugh, and the sex. Oh, man, okay i have no frame of graft, but I thought that was great.

Monica: It was.

Young Ethan: Then, what's the problem?

Monica: Ethan, it's um... it's icky.

Young Ethan: Icky? You're actually gonna throw this away because it's icky?

Monica: This isn't easy for me either. I wish things were different, I... If you were a few years older, or if I was a few years younger, or if we lived in biblical times, I would really...

Young Ethan: No, don't say it. (closes Monica's mouth with his hand)

Monica: ...love you.

(Ross, Rachel and Joey come back from the bathroom. They discover that Monica and Ethan aren't finished talking to each other yet.)

Ross: Are you're hands still wet?

Joey: Uh, moist, yeah.

Rachel: Let's dry 'em again.

(They go to the bathroom again)

[Scene: A hall on the floor where Chandler works. Chandler and Phoebe enters, and overhears some employees's conversation. One of them is doing Chandler.]

Gerston: Uh, like, could these margaritas be any stronger? (They discover that Chandler is listening) Hey, Chandler.

Santos: Hello, Mr. Bing.

Petrie: Loved your Stevie Wonder last night.

Chandler: Thanks. Listen, about the weekly numbers, I'm gonna need them on my desk by nine o'clock.

Santos: Sure.

Gerston: No problem.

(They go away, trying very hard not to laugh at Chandler)

Chandler: You have to give 'em something, you know. Okay, now that was Gerston, Santos, and who's the guy with the moustache?

Phoebe: Petrie.

Chandler: Petrie, right, right. Okay, some people gonna be working this weekend.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is watching TV, but turns it off, and Rachel is sleeping on the couch. Ross puts a blanket over her.]

Rachel: (talking in her sleep) Oooooooooh. (Rachel strokes her hand over the pillow. Ross mimicks her silently) Oh, that's nice. Oh, oh. Huh, Ross!

(Ross gets all excited and starts to dance on the coffee table, but slips allmost immediatly, and falls onto the couch. Rachel wakes up.)

Rachel: Ross?

Ross: I'm here.

Rachel: You are. Well, um... We, we, we were just... Wow!

Ross: What? (his beeper goes off) Great, now I'm having a baby.

Rachel: What?

Ross: Ooh, Ooh.

Rachel: What?

Ross: I'm having... I'm having a baby. (jumps back onto the table again) I'm having a... Where's the phone? The phone?

Rachel: I don't know where the phone is.

(Ross runs from the table, over the couch but slips and falls onto the floor)

Rachel: Ross?

Ross: I'm hurt.

Closing Credits

[Scene: The Hallway, Ross is eagerly waiting for the others to get ready, to go to the hospital.]

Ross: Monica, let's go. Come on now people, woman in labor.

(Chandler struts out from his apartment)

Chandler: (doing a little dance) Hey Ross, look what I've got going here.

Ross: Yeah, save it for the cab, okay.

(Rachel comes out from their apartment with a mirror and a lipstick in her hands)

Ross: What are you doing? We're going to a hospital.

Rachel: What, so I can't lokk nice? There might be doctors there.

Ross: Joey, get out of the fridge.

Joey: All right, all right. (he comes out from their apartment with a huge sandwich in his hand)

Ross: What is that? (refering to the sandwich)

Joey: For the ride.

Chandler: Yeah, like in a cab...

Ross: Save it.

Chandler: Okay, hating this.

Ross: Monica, come on now. Let's go, baby coming.

(Monica enters from their apartment, crying)

Monica: I can't belive it, I'm gonna be an aunt. I'm gonna have like a nephew.

Ross: That's nice. Get out Let's go, come on.

Joey: All right, I'm going. I'm going.

(They all go down the stairs, but Ross turns around, looking like his in a coma. The others also turns around to get him.)

Chandler: Here we go, here we go.

Rachel: Rossy, Rossy.

End

告訴他嘛…
對(duì)，就告訴他嘛
告訴我什么
你看你，連正眼看他都不肯
拜托，快告訴我
下回女人不看我時(shí)我有了新藉口
好吧好吧
昨晚我夢(mèng)見我和你......
在這桌上做愛
夢(mèng)中得分
你怎會(huì)有這種夢(mèng)?
最重要的是我棒嗎?
簡(jiǎn)直是棒極了
真有意思
在我夢(mèng)中我總是力不從心
昨晚你在桌上表現(xiàn)神了
真高興能與你們分享
你沒事吧?
我不敢相信你會(huì)在她夢(mèng)中做愛
抱歉，我只有一次
我醉得不醒人事
而且這是某人的潛意志
好呀,瑞秋
起來
給我
你們能想像操作鉆床的我嗎?
不知道，你當(dāng)時(shí)穿什么?
不知道，你為何想操作鉆床?
只是暫時(shí)的工作
直到我找回部份的按摩客戶
又是海盜?
沒那回事
我是個(gè)大笨蛋
我教他們”自己在家動(dòng)手作按摩”
結(jié)果他們就在家里作
嘿，錢德勒，她可以為你工作嗎？
謝了，這是個(gè)好主意
我可以，是什么工作?
我秘書這幾周無法來上班
她去動(dòng)消乳手術(shù)
一言難盡的波霸故事
我可以當(dāng)個(gè)秘書
我不知你是否是這塊料
因?yàn)檫@份工作得要表現(xiàn)”正常”
白天要盡量正常
我能辦到
你在玩什么?
我的call機(jī)
古生物學(xué)家要那玩意兒干嘛?
恐龍緊急事件?
救命啊，快來
他們還是絕種了
不，是為卡蘿生產(chǎn)買的
她隨時(shí)可以連絡(luò)到我
她只需撥個(gè)號(hào)碼55一J●MB0
這號(hào)碼真酷還能當(dāng)孩子的名字
各位回頭見了
去見伊森小子?
謝謝
伊森到底有多小?
年紀(jì)和我們差不多
當(dāng)我們還是...
他是大學(xué)四年級(jí)學(xué)生
這位小朋友不在乎你的年紀(jì)?
當(dāng)然不在乎
因?yàn)槲腋嬖V他我22歲
什么?
我不像22歲?
25，26還說得過去
我今年26
那就對(duì)了
聽見沒?
聽見了
再不接電話就斷了
我來
賓先生辦公室
抱歉，他正在開會(huì)
我沒在開會(huì)我在…誰....
他知道這件事嗎?
他有你的號(hào)碼?
好，我會(huì)轉(zhuǎn)告他的，再見
什么?
羅斯打來問候的
真好玩
現(xiàn)在做什么?
現(xiàn)在我得開始工作了
"沒錯(cuò)"(Magicball顯示)
我出去一下
我出去一下,拜拜
拜拜
什么事？
你在干嗎?
窗戶擦好了,蠟燭點(diǎn)上了
皮帶太緊，我得去換一條
魚翻過了沒?
沒，因?yàn)槲易龅氖乔用?br /> 我是否已走火人魔?
一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)
我不懂
你們從他期中考開始約會(huì)
突然間你…
我怎么了?
就在今夜?
我不知道
他是個(gè)好男孩
我喜歡和他在一起
很難說
事情會(huì)發(fā)生就是會(huì)發(fā)生
這種事無法事先計(jì)劃好
腿毛刮了沒?
刮了
羅斯，你就別再折磨自己了
這只是一場(chǎng)夢(mèng)，不代表…
時(shí)候到了，寶寶要出世了
放輕松…冷靜點(diǎn)
有人call我？
不，安卓不在這兒
今天已是第三次了
對(duì)，我確定
沒錯(cuò)，我不做那種服務(wù)
服務(wù)?
服務(wù)
對(duì)，你要打的是55一JUMB0
沒錯(cuò)
有U的JUMB0
不，先生，相信我你不會(huì)想要我的
從他的號(hào)碼看來
你看到我會(huì)大失所望
好吧，再見了
第一天上班如何?
太棒了，每個(gè)人都很棒
瞧，認(rèn)識(shí)穿我鞋子的人是有代價(jià)的
我
不，我沒告訴任何人我認(rèn)識(shí)你
為什么?
因?yàn)樗麄儾⒉幌矚g你
什么?
我以為你早知道
不知道
誰不喜歡我?
每個(gè)人，除了…
不，是每個(gè)人
你在說什么?
別難過
他們過去都很喜歡你
自從你升職后
他們感覺你是上司
大人物，大老板
我簡(jiǎn)直無法相信
他們甚至還模仿你
模仿我?
對(duì)，報(bào)告要"何時(shí)"才能交來?
我沒有那樣
你有的
這山谷因音樂而變得生動(dòng)
我的烤餅
我的烤餅!
我沒那樣說話
這”不”是真的
這不…閉嘴
不會(huì)吧
告訴你，我到九歲時(shí)
還以為槍口就是犯罪現(xiàn)場(chǎng)
怎么會(huì)
新聞老是報(bào)導(dǎo)犯罪事件
某人在槍口下
驚慌的觀光被挾持在槍口下
我一直在想為何人總是要那兒去
我該走了
除非
除非你要在這兒過夜
我反正要在這里過夜…
我也很想
我們這樣做前我得告訴你
明天一早有課?
還是你已經(jīng)與什么家伙秘密結(jié)婚了？
在這兩者之間
就嚴(yán)格的技術(shù)上而言
當(dāng)然，我還沒.....
伊森，你是個(gè)處男?
如果你們這些孩子
現(xiàn)在這樣稱呼的話
對(duì)，我是個(gè)處男
我一直在等待夢(mèng)中情人出現(xiàn)
是嗎？
是的。
你知道我說的就是你吧?
你一直哇個(gè)不停
書報(bào)雜志，電影上不斷出現(xiàn)
甚至在家里練習(xí)
跟這感覺實(shí)在沒得比
聽著，難為你肯據(jù)實(shí)相告
如果你能坦白，我想我也能
別告訴我是我做錯(cuò)了
不，那件事你沒做錯(cuò)
我說了
我不是22歲
我是25歲
又13個(gè)月
我猜我們之間不會(huì)有任何改變
年齡根本就不是距離
在你坦承之際我也有話要說
我比你所知的年紀(jì)還小
你不是四年級(jí)?
我是四年級(jí)
高中
我們錯(cuò)了
我竟和一個(gè)在建國(guó)兩百年國(guó)慶
都還沒出生的男人做愛
我剛做愛了
伊森，注意聽
你為何不早告訴我
你也沒告訴我你實(shí)際的年齡
那不一樣
我的謊言不會(huì)使我們成為罪犯
你到底在想什么?
我沒在想什么
我忙于...
不準(zhǔn)說
愛你
真的？
對(duì)不起
走吧，你不該來這兒的
你該在學(xué)校過夜的
天啊，我像是專門勾引小帥哥的女人
我成了瓊考琳絲
誰?
好，安卓再45分鐘就會(huì)到
再見
這樣省事多了
快，你已告訴我昨晚的夢(mèng)
不,死了這條心的
為什么?
難道是夢(mèng)中的我對(duì)你過于粗魯？
好吧
不僅你在場(chǎng)
喬伊也在場(chǎng)
還有......其他人嗎?
沒了
你確定?旁邊沒人蠢蠢欲動(dòng)?
沒有，只有我們?nèi)齻€(gè)
是你跟錢德勒之后再跟我
還是我們?nèi)齻€(gè)同時(shí)?
你知道嗎?
有幾次甚至沒有我
真好
摩妮卡…
伊森又來電了
摩妮卡…
-摩妮卡！
什么事？
伊森又來電了
你不想再見到他了?
對(duì)，有些事是無法勉強(qiáng)的
這跟他需要假條才能離開學(xué)校無關(guān)?
我什么都沒說，我發(fā)誓
他只是順路過來
下回見到他時(shí)
能問閃電俠中最強(qiáng)的是誰?
我的生活簡(jiǎn)直是太多采多姿了
可以換個(gè)話題嗎?
對(duì)不起。
嗎啡時(shí)間到了
暴龍!
劍龍!
我得走了
哇哦,腦充血.
再來一次，我就得走了
酷!
你要上哪兒去?
我要去參加同學(xué)的生日會(huì)
同事?
沒人跟我說?
他們不希望你大駕光臨
我不懂
一個(gè)月前他們是我朋友
當(dāng)上主管并不代表我會(huì)變
那么說你今晚該來
和他們多相處
讓他們知道你還是個(gè)大好人
你真的認(rèn)為我該去?
對(duì),你該去
我們能不一起去嗎
我不想成為邀請(qǐng)上司的家伙
昨晚真是太棒了，卡拉0K
我和崔西合唱了首”烏木與象牙”
你表現(xiàn)得很好
大家仍然取笑你
什么?
你現(xiàn)在成了”管家婆”上司
我要你上司
”稱兄道弟”上司
我更迷糊了
錢德勒，你得面對(duì)現(xiàn)實(shí)
你像個(gè)坐在大辦室里的人一樣
有權(quán)錄取他們
也有權(quán)開除他們
他們說你是個(gè)好上司
是嗎?
他們不再是你的朋友
我只是想.....
你不能.
你不是要去…
卡蘿和我有了新系統(tǒng)
如果打911就代表她將生產(chǎn)
否則我就根本不理會(huì)
安卓呢?
早上他接到我表弟納森的電話
老實(shí)說我知道太多內(nèi)幕了
那也是我的開場(chǎng)白
你們看過浴室里的新吹風(fēng)機(jī)沒?
我以為那只是謠傳
千真萬確
早就裝了
我得和你談?wù)?br /> 我不是17歲
我這樣說
你才會(huì)認(rèn)為我可愛惹人憐
其實(shí)我今年30
我有老婆和工作
我是你的國(guó)會(huì)議員
摩妮卡，這太荒謬了
我們?cè)谝黄鸷荛_心
我們聊天說笑做愛
我雖然經(jīng)驗(yàn)不多，但一切是那么美
的確是
那么問題出在哪兒?
伊森，那是不能長(zhǎng)久的
不能長(zhǎng)久?
因?yàn)槿绱四憔拖敕艞?
我是不得已的
我希望情形不是這樣
如果你年長(zhǎng)幾歲，我年輕幾歲
或是我們生活在圣經(jīng)時(shí)代
我就可以…
不要說
愛你
你的手還沒干?
還是濕的
那就再去烘一次
這些萄葡酒能再“烈”一點(diǎn)嗎?
錢德勒
賓先生
我愛你昨晚的史提夫汪達(dá)
謝謝
有關(guān)這周的數(shù)據(jù)
九點(diǎn)"之"前請(qǐng)送到我辦公室來
沒問題
總得給他們些話題嘛
剛剛是格斯頓，山托斯
留胡子的那個(gè)叫什么?
派崔，派崔，對(duì)
這周末有人得加班了
真好
羅斯
羅斯？
我在這兒
你在?
我們?cè)?.
什么?
這下可好，我有寶寶了
我有寶寶了
我有…電話在哪兒?
電話在那兒
羅斯
我受傷了
摩妮卡，快走各位快點(diǎn)，她要生了
羅斯，看這是什么
留著付計(jì)程車吧
你在干什么?我們要去醫(yī)院
我不能漂亮一點(diǎn)嗎?那兒或許有醫(yī)生
喬，別翻冰箱了
那是干嗎的?
坐車的時(shí)候吃的.
真討厭，摩妮卡，快，寶寶就要出世了
我真不敢相信
我快當(dāng)姑姑了
我快有侄子了
真感人，走吧
走吧