作為父母，如何在冠狀病毒的封鎖下生存

作為父母，如何在冠狀病毒的封鎖下生存

Writing this was hard.

寫這個(gè)很難。

Practically speaking, I'm feeling overwhelmed. I am behind on work because we kept my runny-nosed but otherwise seemingly fine, toddler home from school for a few days to not worry his teachers.

實(shí)際上，我感到不知所措。我的工作進(jìn)度落后了，因?yàn)槲覀儼盐夷橇髦翘榈渌矫孢€好的蹣跚學(xué)步的孩子從學(xué)校帶回家?guī)滋欤悦庾屗睦蠋煋?dān)心。

Do we need more toilet paper? Canned tuna? How much is prudent?

我們還需要衛(wèi)生紙嗎?金槍魚罐頭嗎?多少才是謹(jǐn)慎的?

I, too, have taken a deep dive into the world of hand sanitizer on the internet. I still remain empty-handed. Then there's the extra laundry, the extra food prep and the firm commitment to making sure everyone gets to sleep on time to keep their immune systems in high gear.

我也曾經(jīng)深入研究過互聯(lián)網(wǎng)上的洗手液。我仍然兩手空空。此外，還有額外的洗衣、額外的食物準(zhǔn)備，以及確保每個(gè)人按時(shí)睡覺以保持免疫系統(tǒng)處于最佳狀態(tài)的堅(jiān)定承諾。

All this, and the question we've all asked so many times that we can barely recognize the words anymore: Did you wash your hands? Did you wash your hands? Did you wash your hands?

所有這些，以及我們已經(jīng)問過很多次以至于我們幾乎都認(rèn)不出這些字的問題:你洗手了嗎?你洗手了嗎?你洗手了嗎?

Emotionally, I'm unmoored. I worry about my friends and family getting Covid-19. I worry about schools shutting down. I worry about schools not shutting down.

Like many moms, I am the one in my marriage with a flexible job, which means that all scheduling upheavals are mine to manage and that I don't get paid sick days.

情感上,我無藥可醫(yī)。我擔(dān)心我的朋友和家人會(huì)感染Covid-19.我既擔(dān)心學(xué)校停課又擔(dān)心學(xué)校不會(huì)停課。和很多媽媽一樣，我在婚姻中也是一個(gè)工作靈活的人，這意味著所有的工作安排都由我來安排，而且我沒有帶薪病假。

This is parenthood in the time of the coronavirus.

這是在冠狀病毒時(shí)代為人父母。

Managing the feelings and anxiety

控制情緒和焦慮

The act of parenting, or parenting well at least, requires some baseline anxiety.

為人父母的行為，或者至少是為人父母的良好行為，需要一些基本的焦慮。

"Part of becoming a parent is about becoming hypervigilant to potential threats. You become a threat detection machine," said Darby Saxbe, associate professor of psychology and director of the Center for the Changing Family at the University of Southern California.

“成為父母的一部分就是對(duì)潛在的威脅保持高度警惕。你會(huì)變成一臺(tái)威脅探測(cè)機(jī)器，”南加州大學(xué)心理學(xué)副教授、變化中的家庭研究中心主任達(dá)比·薩克斯貝說。

What makes coronavirus anxiety so much worse than will-my-toddler-run-into-traffic anxiety is its potential for disruption of our daily routines combined with a deeper uncertainty about how it will play out.

冠狀病毒的焦慮比“我的孩子會(huì)不會(huì)跑進(jìn)車流”的焦慮更嚴(yán)重，原因在于它可能會(huì)擾亂我們的日常生活，同時(shí)還會(huì)對(duì)它的后果產(chǎn)生更深的不確定性。

Hijacking our parenting instincts

劫持我們?yōu)槿烁改傅谋灸?/p>

Yael Krieger is a mother of three young children in Berkeley, California. Anxiety prone to begin with, she now finds herself in a constant battle with worst-case scenarios that keep bubbling up in her head.

雅艾爾·克里格是三個(gè)孩子的母親，住在加州伯克利。一開始她就容易焦慮，現(xiàn)在她發(fā)現(xiàn)自己在不斷地與腦海中不斷浮現(xiàn)的最糟糕的情況作斗爭(zhēng)。

At the center of her anxiety sits all the unknowns, which are difficult to reason through. For one, our understanding of the disease and how it functions is extremely limited, and there are new findings every day.

她焦慮的中心是所有的未知數(shù)，這些未知數(shù)很難推理清楚。首先，我們對(duì)這種疾病及其功能的了解極其有限，每天都有新的發(fā)現(xiàn)。

A sense of order amid the chaos

混亂中的秩序感

While all kids are feeling nervous to some degree, those whose schools are canceled are likely to be extra unsettled. Kids thrive on stability and routine. When it goes away, it is up to parents to model how to cope, Saxbe said.

雖然所有的孩子都在某種程度上感到緊張，但那些學(xué)校被取消的孩子可能會(huì)格外不安。孩子們?cè)诜€(wěn)定和常規(guī)中成長(zhǎng)。薩克斯貝說，當(dāng)這種情況消失時(shí)，父母應(yīng)該為孩子樹立一個(gè)應(yīng)對(duì)的榜樣。

To survive, we all need to both commit ourselves to some sense of order, and at the same time, yield to the chaos.

為了生存，我們都需要致力于某種意義上的秩序，同時(shí)，向混亂屈服。

Parents, do what you need to lower your stress levels, whether it is carving out alone time or exercise time. Maybe you ease up on your television and video game policy or accept the power of candy as a bribe to help you kids comply. Create some structure that you can realistically commit to and on most days, achieve, and importantly, make sure you are enjoying some parts of it.

父母?jìng)?，做你需要做的來降低你的壓力水平，無論是騰出獨(dú)處的時(shí)間還是鍛煉的時(shí)間。也許你放寬了看電視和玩電子游戲的政策，或者接受了糖果作為賄賂的權(quán)力來幫助你的孩子們遵守這些政策。創(chuàng)建一些你可以切實(shí)執(zhí)行的結(jié)構(gòu)，在大多數(shù)情況下，實(shí)現(xiàn)它，重要的是，確保你享受其中的一些部分。

Whether children are in or out of school, the threat of the coronavirus has made managing family life a much bigger job. Odd are, moms are taking on more of this emotional and domestic labor.

無論孩子們是上學(xué)還是停學(xué)，冠狀病毒的威脅已經(jīng)使管理家庭生活成為一項(xiàng)更大的工作。奇怪的是，媽媽們承擔(dān)了更多的情感和家務(wù)勞動(dòng)。