別人家孩子的簡(jiǎn)歷！網(wǎng)友感嘆好像一輩子都比不過(guò)他了……

最近，#5歲小盆友的簡(jiǎn)歷#上了熱搜。博主“開八”在微博上發(fā)了一位5歲小朋友的簡(jiǎn)歷，網(wǎng)友表示，看完就明白了什么叫“輸在了起跑線上”。

正在準(zhǔn)備明年畢業(yè)找工作的大朋友們，先來(lái)學(xué)習(xí)一下小朋友的自我介紹：

Full-fledged adults should stop whining about how arduous it is to write a decent résumé, because this five-year-old kid in China has just mastered the art of self-aggrandizing.

已經(jīng)長(zhǎng)大成人的各位，可別再抱怨寫一份得體的簡(jiǎn)歷有多費(fèi)勁了，因?yàn)橹袊?guó)有個(gè)5歲的孩子都已經(jīng)知道該怎么在簡(jiǎn)歷中表現(xiàn)自己了。

An extensive résumé (in Chinese) by an anonymous kindergarten kid became the hottest topic on Chinese social media. Coming in the form of a 15-page PDF document, the résumé gives an incredibly comprehensive overview of the child’s awe-inspiring history.

近日，一位不知名的幼兒園小朋友的簡(jiǎn)歷成為中國(guó)社交媒體的熱門話題。這份簡(jiǎn)歷內(nèi)容豐富詳實(shí)，是一份長(zhǎng)達(dá)15頁(yè)的PDF文檔，全面介紹了孩子的成長(zhǎng)史，讓大家頗為驚嘆。

 

“I was born in a family where both parents are graduates from Fudan University,” the kid proudly states of his family background in the first part. He even makes a pun out of the name of the university, calling himself a “typical fuerdai,” where the fu of the phrase for“second-generation rich”(富二代 fù’èrdài) is replaced with the fu of Fudan University (復(fù) fù).“I hope I can outperform my parents,”he adds.

在簡(jiǎn)歷一開頭，孩子就驕傲地簡(jiǎn)述了家庭背景。他寫道：“我的父母都畢業(yè)于復(fù)旦大學(xué)。”他還把“富二代”中的“富”換成了“復(fù)旦大學(xué)”的“復(fù)”，用雙關(guān)語(yǔ)調(diào)侃自己是個(gè)“典型的復(fù)二代”。他還說(shuō)：“我要青出于藍(lán)而勝于藍(lán)”。

The kid moves on to describe himself as “confident,” “considerate,” and “strong.” To give examples, he relates that he never cried over vaccine shots and that one and a half years after his birth, he managed to stand up without help from others if he fell to the ground. “Everyone said praises about how I was so brave,” the kid says.

接下來(lái)，他在簡(jiǎn)歷中將自己的性格描述為“靈動(dòng)自信、友善貼心、耐挫堅(jiān)強(qiáng)”。為了舉例證明，他說(shuō)自己打針從來(lái)沒(méi)哭過(guò)，而且在一歲半之后，摔倒了就自己爬起來(lái)，不用別人扶。這個(gè)孩子在簡(jiǎn)歷中說(shuō)：“大家都夸我勇敢”。

小朋友在簡(jiǎn)歷中說(shuō)：“自己做過(guò)20多本思維書，里面有空間思維、記憶力訓(xùn)練、邏輯推理、計(jì)算練習(xí)、幾何認(rèn)知等。通過(guò)實(shí)驗(yàn)了解浮力、密度、磁力、重力……”“從小班開始就是小主持人，從四歲半開始學(xué)鋼琴，還一直堅(jiān)持學(xué)街舞，兩歲多開始學(xué)習(xí)涂鴉，已經(jīng)有150多幅作品”。

He also explains how he excelled in four things — literature and history, science and math, arts, and sports. “I write three English essays per week to express my feelings,” he says, adding that he has a variety of hobbies outside school, such as piano, hip-hop dance, soccer, and Go.

他還描述了自己在文史、數(shù)理、藝術(shù)和運(yùn)動(dòng)方面的突出表現(xiàn)。他寫道：“我每周寫三篇英語(yǔ)日記來(lái)記錄我當(dāng)天的心情”。他還說(shuō)自己有豐富的課外愛(ài)好，比如鋼琴、街舞、足球和圍棋。

In addition, the document includes the kid’s daily schedule, comments from his teachers, and a map that indicates every place he has traveled to.

此外，簡(jiǎn)歷還列出了孩子的日程安排，老師的評(píng)語(yǔ)，還有一幅標(biāo)記了他所去過(guò)的國(guó)家和城市的地圖。

One admirable quality of the kid’s that really stands out is that the boy is a big reader. He says that he read over 500 English books in the past year. At the end of the résumé, there are five pages listing all the English books he has read so far. On a related note, it’s worth mentioning that a recent study suggests that nearly two-thirds of all Chinese over the age of 18 read no books in their leisure time in 2017.

這位5歲的孩子最讓人欽佩的一個(gè)優(yōu)點(diǎn)是“讀萬(wàn)卷書”。他說(shuō)自己去年一共讀了500本英文書。簡(jiǎn)歷末尾用5頁(yè)的篇幅列出了他讀過(guò)的全部英語(yǔ)書目。值得一提的是，最近一項(xiàng)調(diào)查指出，中國(guó)近三分之二的18歲以上成年人在2017年沒(méi)有在空閑時(shí)間讀過(guò)一本書。

According to Weibo user kāi bā 開八, who shared the résumé but didn’t disclose how he obtained it, the document appears to be part of some application materials for an international primary school.“Both parents are high achievers working in high-profile positions at international firms,” the user wrote.

微博用戶“開八”在網(wǎng)上分享了這份簡(jiǎn)歷，但沒(méi)有透露來(lái)源。據(jù)他說(shuō)，這份簡(jiǎn)歷似乎是用來(lái)申請(qǐng)就讀國(guó)際學(xué)校的材料。他在微博中寫道：“父母都非常厲害，在高薪行業(yè)的頭部國(guó)際公司做高管。”

這份“驚為天人”的簡(jiǎn)歷被“開八”貼出后，至今在微博已有近4萬(wàn)的轉(zhuǎn)發(fā)，留言數(shù)量更達(dá)到2萬(wàn)條。

這份簡(jiǎn)歷又帶給了網(wǎng)友們新一輪的焦慮，就連微博CEO@來(lái)去之間都轉(zhuǎn)發(fā)微博并評(píng)論：轉(zhuǎn)發(fā)焦慮。

不少網(wǎng)友調(diào)侃說(shuō)：“我好像這輩子都比不過(guò)這個(gè)孩子了”，“算了，我還是不要小孩了”。

更悲哀的是，有人感嘆自己連這個(gè)簡(jiǎn)歷PDF也不會(huì)做。

但也有人對(duì)該小朋友的簡(jiǎn)歷表示無(wú)奈，“他，開心嗎?”

但也有網(wǎng)友表達(dá)了另一種看法：

有網(wǎng)友直言不諱：“你以為是孩子的差距，其實(shí)是你”。

有網(wǎng)友批評(píng)說(shuō)，中國(guó)的“超前教育”泛濫已讓幾乎所有學(xué)齡前兒童的家長(zhǎng)都陷入了集體焦慮中。“不少家長(zhǎng)們會(huì)不自覺(jué)地將搶跑的優(yōu)勢(shì)無(wú)限放大，并以為在起跑線上搶跑就等于一直領(lǐng)先到達(dá)終點(diǎn)，這真是大錯(cuò)特錯(cuò)。”

The résumé is undoubtedly remarkable. But let’s be real. The amount of effort and skill needed to put it together is far beyond the capability of a five-year-old. So it’s safe to say that the kid’s parents are the ones who deserve all the credit. Or as some internet users speculated, since the parents are executives with busy schedules, the résumé was possibly written by their subordinates.

這份簡(jiǎn)歷無(wú)疑引人矚目。但我們還是現(xiàn)實(shí)一些吧，一個(gè)5歲的孩子是絕沒(méi)有這樣的能力自己做出來(lái)的。所以簡(jiǎn)歷的制作肯定是孩子的家長(zhǎng)代勞。還有些網(wǎng)友猜測(cè)說(shuō)，孩子的父母是高管，日程安排繁忙，或許還是讓屬下代寫的。

Whatever the case may be, this viral résumé offers an intriguing glimpse into China’s hyper-competitive education system, where getting into an elite primary school has become more cutthroat than ever.

不管是哪種情況，這份在網(wǎng)上走紅的簡(jiǎn)歷讓我們窺見(jiàn)了中國(guó)競(jìng)爭(zhēng)激烈的教育體制，想要進(jìn)入一所精英小學(xué)就讀越來(lái)越難了。