把比特幣當(dāng)禮物送人？

’Twas the night before Christmas, when all thro’ the house not a creature was stirring — except for me, sitting in bed, frantically checking the price of bitcoin.

圣誕前夜，家里空蕩蕩的，只有我一個(gè)人在家——坐在床上，瘋狂地查看比特幣的價(jià)格。

A couple of weeks earlier, I had had the bright idea of buying my family cryptocurrency for Christmas. With hours to go, my gift was looking rather less generous than I had hoped.

在此幾個(gè)星期前，我想到了一個(gè)絕妙的主意，用加密貨幣作為圣誕節(jié)禮物送給家人。距圣誕節(jié)只剩下幾個(gè)小時(shí)的時(shí)間，我的禮物看起來(lái)遠(yuǎn)沒(méi)有我原本希望的那么慷慨了。

It all started, as these things often do, at a dinner party. A couple of friends, both of whom work in the tech industry, had said they were sitting on tens of thousands of dollars’ worth of bitcoin gains after investing only a few months ago.

一切源于一次晚餐聚會(huì)，這種事情通常都是這樣發(fā)生的。我的朋友中有一對(duì)夫妻，兩人都在科技行業(yè)工作。他們說(shuō)，幾個(gè)月前買(mǎi)了比特幣，現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)賺了好幾萬(wàn)美元。

At this point in mid-December, the price of a single bitcoin was hovering around $17,000. Having increased many times over in the previous months, there seemed little reason to doubt that the bubble would keep inflating.

當(dāng)時(shí)是12月中旬，比特幣價(jià)格徘徊在17000美元左右。在那之前的幾個(gè)月里，價(jià)格上漲了好幾倍，似乎沒(méi)有理由認(rèn)為泡沫不會(huì)繼續(xù)膨脹。

I have never previously dabbled in buying cryptocurrency, which I still struggle to see having many practical uses, and I am usually rather more risk-averse in my investments. But I thought giving my parents and parents-in-law their first taste of bitcoin might spark some conversation around the Christmas dinner table, while also providing a modest fallback in the event of the total collapse of the traditional financial system and descent into crypto-anarchy.

我以前從未涉足過(guò)購(gòu)買(mǎi)加密貨幣，至今我仍然看不到它有什么實(shí)際用途，而且我在投資時(shí)，通常會(huì)采取更為安全的策略。但我的想法是，送父母和岳父母比特幣讓他們嘗嘗鮮，可能會(huì)為圣誕節(jié)晚餐創(chuàng)造一些餐桌上的話(huà)題，同時(shí)，如果傳統(tǒng)金融體系全面崩潰，陷入加密-無(wú)政府狀態(tài)(crypto-anarchy)，這也算給他們開(kāi)辟了一條小小的退路。

So I downloaded Coinbase, the cryptocurrency wallet app, and set about buying some bitcoin. (At the time, I felt reassured by the fact that Coinbase was at the top of the iPhone’s App Store rankings; perhaps I should have realised it was a sign a market top was approaching.)

于是，我下載了加密貨幣錢(qián)包應(yīng)用Coinbase，并準(zhǔn)備購(gòu)買(mǎi)一些比特幣。(當(dāng)時(shí)，Coinbase在iPhone的App Store的排行榜上名列前茅，這一點(diǎn)讓我更覺(jué)踏實(shí); 也許，我當(dāng)時(shí)就應(yīng)該意識(shí)到，這是市場(chǎng)即將見(jiàn)頂?shù)男盘?hào)。)

Setting up a Coinbase account was straightforward, but I was limited initially to a $400 purchase using my credit card, so I settled on buying $100 per parental unit — too little to worry about if it disappeared in a flash, but enough to pay for a nice dinner or two if it continued doubling on a regular basis.

建立一個(gè)Coinbase賬戶(hù)非常簡(jiǎn)單，但首次用信用卡交易的限額是400美元。所以，我最終給父母和岳父母每人買(mǎi)了100美元的比特幣——這筆金額太小，即使它們瞬間化為烏有，也不用擔(dān)心。但是，如果比特幣繼續(xù)定期翻番，也足夠他們外出吃一兩頓像樣的晚餐。

All too soon, I was glued to the bitcoin price chart. Within days, it had leapt again to within a few bucks of $20,000 apiece. My plan was to wrap a bag of chocolate coins to present on Christmas Day, before nabbing my family’s phones to help them set up wallets into which I could deposit their virtual riches.

很快，我的眼睛就粘在了比特幣走勢(shì)圖上。幾天之內(nèi)，比特幣價(jià)格再次跳漲， 距離20,000美元只差幾美元。我的計(jì)劃是，在圣誕節(jié)那天，包上一包硬幣巧克力，作為禮物送出，然后拿起家人的電話(huà)，幫助他們?cè)O(shè)置錢(qián)包，這樣我就可以把他們的虛擬財(cái)富存入其中。

The bitcoin price began to fall to earth before I had even made it home for the holidays. The topic came up over the breakfast table by December 23, when my father waved a copy of the FT Weekend’s front page, unhelpfully splashed with news of its abrupt “30 per cent drop”.

還沒(méi)等到我回家過(guò)節(jié)，比特幣的價(jià)格就開(kāi)始暴跌。12月23日，這個(gè)話(huà)題出現(xiàn)在我家的早餐桌上，當(dāng)時(shí)我父親揮動(dòng)一份《金融時(shí)報(bào)》周末版的頭版，上面正是我不愿看到的比特幣突然“下跌30%”的消息。

Still, the Redditors cried “hodl!” (a bitcoiner meme that has become a maxim) — so hold on I did.

然而，Redditor網(wǎng)站的用戶(hù)還在喊“繼續(xù)持有!”(hodl，比特幣玩家圈中一個(gè)已成為信條的模因(meme))——所以，我也繼續(xù)持有了。

By Christmas morning, my $100 of bitcoin had been transformed into an $80 gift. Yet I still felt it had value as a glimpse into the techno-future. The Queen in her annual televised speech may have marvelled at video being beamed to mobile phones, but soon my parents would be slinging Satoshis!

到圣誕節(jié)早上，我價(jià)值100美元的比特幣貶值成了一件80美元的禮物。然而，作為窺探技術(shù)未來(lái)的一個(gè)窗口，我仍覺(jué)得它有其價(jià)值。英國(guó)女王在年度電視講話(huà)中可能對(duì)用手機(jī)看視頻驚嘆不已，不過(guò)，我父母很快就會(huì)玩比特幣了!

Instead, the slow and painful gifting process merely exposed me as a crypto newbie.

不過(guò)，此次緩慢而痛苦的送禮過(guò)程恰恰暴露了我是加密貨幣的菜鳥(niǎo)一枚。

Initially, my parents seemed amused, if also a little bemused, by the investment opportunity I had created for them. But when it came to transferring the bitcoin to their account — the part that is supposed to be so disruptively simple — it was me who felt disintermediated.

起初，對(duì)我為他們創(chuàng)造的投資機(jī)會(huì)，父母似乎感到很好玩，可能也有些困惑。但是，在把比特幣轉(zhuǎn)入他們賬戶(hù)的過(guò)程中——這本應(yīng)該是超級(jí)簡(jiǎn)單的操作—— 領(lǐng)教到“去中介化”是怎么回事兒的是我。

First, the Coinbase sign-up process seemed more complicated than it had been for me. Text messages sent to verify phone numbers never arrived. The app demanded an array of legal documents to prove the new users’ identity. “This is a funny sort of Christmas present,” my father-in-law said as he handed me his credit card and driving licence to scan into the app.

首先，在Coinbase上為我父母注冊(cè)的過(guò)程似乎比我注冊(cè)時(shí)更為復(fù)雜。為驗(yàn)證電話(huà)號(hào)碼而發(fā)出的短信一直收不到。該應(yīng)用需要一系列法律文件來(lái)證明新用戶(hù)的身份。 “這圣誕禮物挺有意思，”我的岳父在把信用卡和駕照遞給我時(shí)說(shuō)，我需要將這些信息掃描到應(yīng)用中。

Once the accounts were finally active, I scanned the QR code on my father’s Coinbase app to transfer the bitcoin from my wallet to his. A message informed me there was a “mining fee”, priced in some minute fraction of a bitcoin. “This fee is paid to the digital currency miners, who process the transactions and secure the respective network,” Coinbase’s help page explained. This seemed odd for such a small, peer-to-peer transaction, but I agreed.

待帳戶(hù)最終激活之后，我掃描了父親的Coinbase應(yīng)用的二維碼，將比特幣從我的錢(qián)包轉(zhuǎn)入他的賬戶(hù)。我收到一條短信說(shuō)，需要支付一筆微不足道的“挖礦費(fèi)”。 “這筆費(fèi)用將支付給數(shù)字貨幣的礦工，他們負(fù)責(zé)處理交易，并保證交易雙方網(wǎng)絡(luò)的安全，” Coinbase的幫助頁(yè)面解釋說(shuō)。對(duì)于如此小規(guī)模的點(diǎn)對(duì)點(diǎn)交易，這似乎有點(diǎn)怪異，但我同意了。

The minute fraction of a bitcoin, it turned out, was worth about $30 — more than a third of the value I was transferring. I later learned that, had I transferred to his Coinbase username instead of scanning the QR code, there would have been no fee — but there was nothing to warn me of that before it was too late.

結(jié)果，這筆“微不足道”的挖礦費(fèi)居然相當(dāng)于約30美元—— 超過(guò)我轉(zhuǎn)賬價(jià)值的三分之一。后來(lái)我才了解到，如果我在轉(zhuǎn)賬時(shí)不掃二維碼，而是直接輸入他的Coinbase用戶(hù)名，就不收任何費(fèi)用了——但是，我事先沒(méi)看到任何提示信息。

At least, I thought, there would be none of the traditional banking nonsense about waiting for the cheque to clear.

我想，比特幣轉(zhuǎn)賬至少不會(huì)像傳統(tǒng)銀行業(yè)務(wù)中那樣，還要等待支票入賬。

Not so fast.

我想當(dāng)然了。

Hours went by, and the transaction was still listed as “pending”. I turned to Coinbase’s in-app customer support. “Ada the Coinbase Support Bot” was unable to explain where my digital currency was, so I tried again by email. “Thank you for submitting your request. Due to increased volume, it may take several days to receive a response,” came the reply. My Christmas present, apparently delayed by some sort of blockchain blockage, seemed in danger of slipping into the new year.

時(shí)間一分一秒地過(guò)去了，交易仍處于“待執(zhí)行”狀態(tài)。我向Coinbase應(yīng)用的內(nèi)置客戶(hù)支持尋求幫助。“Coinbase客服機(jī)器人Ada”無(wú)法解釋我的數(shù)字貨幣在何處，所以，我通過(guò)電子郵件再次嘗試。得到的答復(fù)是：“感謝您提交請(qǐng)求。 由于問(wèn)詢(xún)量增加，可能需要幾天的時(shí)間才會(huì)收到回復(fù)”。看上去，由于被某種區(qū)塊鏈阻塞所延誤，我的圣誕節(jié)禮物有可能得到明年才能送到了。

Coinbase’s online explainer was no more encouraging. “Usually the delay is under an hour,” it read. “Occasionally, transactions are not accepted by the rest of the network and therefore are never considered to be ‘confirmed’.” Moving money around, the phrase “never considered to be confirmed” was not the reassurance I had hoped for.

Coinbase的在線(xiàn)解釋同樣令人失望。“通常情況下，延遲時(shí)間不會(huì)超過(guò)一個(gè)小時(shí)，”解釋文字寫(xiě)到。“有時(shí)候，交易未被網(wǎng)絡(luò)的其他部分接受，因此，這些交易從未被視為‘已確認(rèn)’”。在轉(zhuǎn)錢(qián)過(guò)程中，“從未被視為已確認(rèn)”這種說(shuō)法并不是我希望得到的定心丸。

By Boxing Day, my father’s bit-pittance had finally landed — by which time, their value had increased slightly. “I’ve got $90 worth of bitcoins according to my app. So — wealthy,” my dad texted me to say. He was so excited, he went for a nap.

到了節(jié)禮日(Boxing Day，指圣誕節(jié)次日——譯者注)，我給我父親的這個(gè)微不足道的圣誕禮物終于到賬了——而且當(dāng)時(shí)，價(jià)值還略有增加。“我的應(yīng)用顯示，我有價(jià)值90美元的比特幣。太——有錢(qián)了，”我爸發(fā)短信給我說(shuō)。他興奮得要去打個(gè)盹。

Two weeks later, bitcoin is still stubbornly refusing to return to the $17,000 price at which I had started. If they ever do make money, I hope my family continues to hodl — if only so I do not have to figure out how to convert the bitcoin back into simple, familiar fiat currency.

兩個(gè)星期后，比特幣仍然固執(zhí)地拒絕回到我的買(mǎi)入價(jià)17,000美元。如果有朝一日比特幣真的漲了，我希望我的家人繼續(xù)持有—— 這樣我就不必去弄清楚如何將比特幣轉(zhuǎn)換成簡(jiǎn)單而熟悉的法定貨幣了。