《四季隨筆》節(jié)選 - 秋 15

《四季隨筆》是吉辛的散文代表作。其中對隱士賴克羅夫特醉心于書籍、自然景色與回憶過去生活的描述，其實是吉辛的自述，作者以此來抒發(fā)自己的情感，因而本書是一部富有自傳色彩的小品文集。

吉辛窮困的一生，對文學名著的愛好與追求，以及對大自然恬靜生活的向往，在書中均有充分的反映。本書分為春、夏、秋、冬四個部分，文筆優(yōu)美，行文流暢，是英國文學中小品文的珍品之一。

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Blackberries hanging thick upon the hedge bring to my memory something of long ago. I had somehow escaped into the country, and on a long walk began to feel mid-day hunger. The wayside brambles were fruiting; I picked and ate, and ate on, until I had come within sight of an inn where I might have made a meal. But my hunger was satisfied; I had no need of anything more, and, as I thought of it, a strange feeling of surprise, a sort of bewilderment, came upon me. What! Could it be that I had eaten, and eaten sufficiently, WITHOUT PAYING? It struck me as an extraordinary thing. At that time, my ceaseless preoccupation was how to obtain money to keep myself alive. Many a day I had suffered hunger because I durst not spend the few coins I possessed; the food I could buy was in any case unsatisfactory, unvaried. But here Nature had given me a feast, which seemed delicious, and I had eaten all I wanted. The wonder held me for a long time, and to this day I can recall it, understand it.

看到樹籬上掛滿了累累的黑莓果，我不由想起了很久之前的一件事。我不知怎么地躲到了鄉(xiāng)下，有一次外出散步走了很遠，時近正午，感覺饑餓難耐。路旁的野生黑莓正在結實，我摘下它的果子就吃，一直不停地吃，直到看見一家可以就餐的小飯館?？赡菚r我已經(jīng)完全飽了，我不需要再吃什么了，意識到這一點，我忽然感到一種驚訝，一種困惑。什么！難道我不用付錢，就已經(jīng)吃飽了嗎？這真是一件驚人的事。那個時候，我無時無刻不在發(fā)愁如何掙錢以維持生存。有許多天我都忍饑挨餓，就是因為不敢花掉手頭的幾個硬幣；我能買的食物根本談不上美味，而且種類單調。然而在這里，大自然以一頓盛宴款待我，美味可口，我可以盡情享受。這一奇遇讓我思索了很長時間，直到今天，我還能憶起，還能理解。

I think there could be no better illustration of what it means to be very poor in a great town. And I am glad to have been through it. To those days of misery I owe much of the contentment which I now enjoy; not by mere force of contrast, but because I have been better taught than most men the facts which condition our day to day existence. To the ordinary educated person, freedom from anxiety as to how he shall merely be fed and clothed is a matter of course; questioned, he would admit it to be an agreeable state of things, but it is no more a source of conscious joy to him than physical health to the thoroughly sound man. For me, were I to live another fifty years, this security would be a delightful surprise renewed with every renewal of day. I know, as only one with my experience can, all that is involved in the possession of means to live. The average educated man has never stood alone, utterly alone, just clad and nothing more than that, with the problem before him of wresting his next meal from a world that cares not whether he live or die. There is no such school of political economy. Go through that course of lectures, and you will never again become confused as to the meaning of elementary terms in that sorry science.

我想，這件事最好地說明了生活在大城市對窮人意味著什么。我很高興自己捱過了那段苦難日子，拜它所賜，我才能充分享受今天這份滿足感。不是出于今昔對比的力量，而是因為我比大多數(shù)人都更了解決定日常生存的客觀條件。對于受過教育的普通人，衣食無憂是自然而然的事情，如果受到詢問，他會承認這是一種愉快的狀態(tài)。然而，這狀態(tài)對他來講，就如同健康對于一個身體強壯的人，不過是有意識之快樂的一個源頭而已。而對我來說，如果還能再活五十年，這份安全感將會是一份歷久彌新的愉快驚喜。只有和我有相同經(jīng)歷的人能夠理解，擁有生存資本需要投入的一切。受過教育的普通人從沒有孤單過，完全的孤單，即除了身上的衣物外一無所有，還面臨著從一個不關心他死活的世界掙得下一餐飯的難題。這種政治經(jīng)濟學學校是絕無僅有的，如果挨過這幾節(jié)課，你永遠不會混淆這門可悲的科學的那些基本術語的含義。

I understand, far better than most men, what I owe to the labour of others. This money which I "draw" at the four quarters of the year, in a sense falls to me from heaven; but I know very well that every drachm is sweated from human pores. Not, thank goodness, with the declared tyranny of basest capitalism; I mean only that it is the product of human labour; perhaps wholesome, but none the less compulsory. Look far enough, and it means muscular toil, that swinking of the ruder man which supports all the complex structure of our life. When I think of him thus, the man of the people earns my gratitude. That it is gratitude from afar, that I never was, and never shall be, capable of democratic fervour, is a characteristic of my mind which I long ago accepted as final. I have known revolt against the privilege of wealth (can I not remember spots in London where I have stood, savage with misery, looking at the prosperous folk who passed?), but I could never feel myself at one with the native poor among whom I dwelt. And for the simplest reason; I came to know them too well. He who cultivates his enthusiasm amid graces and comforts may nourish an illusion with regard to the world below him all his life long, and I do not deny that he may be the better for it; for me, no illusion was possible. I knew the poor, and I knew that their aims were not mine. I knew that the kind of life (such a modest life!) which I should have accepted as little short of the ideal, would have been to them—if they could have been made to understand it—a weariness and a contempt. To ally myself with them against the "upper world" would have been mere dishonesty, or sheer despair. What they at heart desired, was to me barren; what I coveted, was to them for ever incomprehensible.

我比大多數(shù)人都明白，自己應該感激他人的勞動。我一年四季“領取”的錢，從某個意義上說，是從天而降的；但是，我很清楚每個硬幣都是人們汗水的結晶。感謝老天，它與卑下至極的資本主義公開的暴政不沾邊。我的意思只是說，它是人類勞動的成果；這種勞動或許有益健康，但依然是受到強制的。追本溯源的話，它意味著體力的勞作，正是粗人的勤勞支撐起了我們生活的復雜結構。這樣想時，我便對廣大體力勞動者心懷感激。但這是一種遙遙表達的感激，我從來沒有也永遠不會有民主的熱情，這就是我思想的特點，很久以前我就這樣下了定論。我確實厭惡有錢階級享有的特權（我怎能忘記站在倫敦的街上，看著那些來來往往的體面人，痛苦得幾乎瘋狂），但卻從未感覺和我居所周圍的窮人是一體的。原因非常簡單，我對他們太了解了。一個在優(yōu)雅舒適的環(huán)境中培育起生活熱情的人，可能終生都會對底層世界抱有一種幻想，我不否認他這樣也許更好；但對我來說，是不可能有任何幻想的。我了解窮人，我知道他們的目標和我自己的不一樣。我知道，那種我覺得非常接近理想的生活（很普通的生活?。?，他們如果能夠理解的話，就會感到厭倦和鄙視。要我和他們聯(lián)手對抗“上層世界”，不過是一種不誠實或完全絕望的做法。他們內心渴望的，在我眼里是貧乏空虛的；而我所覬覦的，則是他們永遠不能理解的。

That my own aim indicated an ideal which is the best for all to pursue, I am far from maintaining. It may be so, or not; I have long known the idleness of advocating reform on a basis of personal predilection. Enough to set my own thoughts in order, without seeking to devise a new economy for the world. But it is much to see clearly from one's point of view, and therein the evil days I have treasured are of no little help to me. If my knowledge be only subjective, why, it only concerns myself; I preach to no one. Upon another man, of origin and education like to mine, a like experience of hardship might have a totally different effect; he might identify himself with the poor, burn to the end of his life with the noblest humanitarianism. I should no further criticize him than to say that he saw with other eyes than mine. A vision, perhaps, larger and more just. But in one respect he resembles me. If ever such a man arises, let him be questioned; it will be found that he once made a meal of blackberries—and mused upon it.

我自己的目標中，蘊藏了一個理想，我不會堅持它是所有人應該追求的最好理想。它可能是，也可能不是。我很久之前就知道，依據(jù)個人喜好來宣傳變革是多么無聊。我只是整理好自己的思想就夠了，不用試圖為世界設計出一種新經(jīng)濟體系。但是，從自己的角度能獲得透徹認識就很重要，在這一點上，我所珍視的那些苦難的日子對我?guī)椭恍?。如果我的認識是主觀的，那它也只與我有關，我沒有向任何人說教。如果換一個人，和我的出身和教育一樣，那么同樣苦難的經(jīng)歷可能會對他產生完全不同的影響；他可能會和窮人站在一起，終其一生為高尚的人道主義事業(yè)服務。我不會去抨擊他，只會說他和我看待世界的角度不同。他的視野也許更廣闊，更正義，但是他會和我在一個方面相似。如果確實有這樣一個人，請你詢問他，你會發(fā)現(xiàn)他曾經(jīng)吃過一頓黑莓餐——并由此思索了一番。