《老友記》里的十大誤區(qū)

High-waisted jeans are back in, and people still drink a lot of coffee — but that’s pretty much all our adult lives have in common with the poker-playing, apartment-swapping lives of the characters on Friends.

It’s been ten years since the series finale aired, and for those of us who spent hour upon hour watching the show, it’s still a bummer that our lives aren’t exactly like those of Rachel, Monica, Ross, Chandler, Phoebe and Joey. Adulthood was supposed to be about coordinated New Years’ dances, football games for troll trophies and songs about malodorous felines. Dating was supposed to be fun! (It’s not.)

Here are 10 lies Friends told you (and us) about life in our twenties:

1. Your friends are always around and never have anything better to do but hang out with you.

On Friends, every room you walk into is automatically full of great company. This is not the case in the real world. In fact, it’s more likely that you’ll run into the one person you hate than the five people you love. We spend more time texting about when we’ll hang out than actually hanging out.

2. You can count on getting a seat on the comfy couch at the coffee shop.

This cruel lie set us up for a lifetime of near-misses with coffee shop couches. The couch at Central Perk is always unoccupied and always has exactly enough room for all the friends to comfortably sit. In the real world, there’s only one reason a couch in a coffee shop stays open for long, and it usually has to do with some kind of bodily fluid or spillage.

3. Working is more of a suggestion than a requirement.

Just to pick on Central Perk once more: you have to wonder what cushy jobs all the friends had that they could take hour-long coffee breaks at a coffee shop far from their places of work in the middle of the day.

4. You can pay for a two-bedroom apartment in Greenwich Village on waitressing tips and chef’s wages.

Alright, Rachel and Monica “inherited” the apartment and all its amazing furniture from Monica’s grandmother, but they would still have to make rent on a part-time chef and waitress’ salaries. Seems a little too good to be true. Alas, it is.

5. You can have kids and still hang out with your friends just as much as you did before.

Nothing seems to get in the way of the friends hanging out at Central Perk, not even parenthood. Ben is born in the first season and Emma is born in the eighth season, but neither kid really seems to put a real dent in Ross or Rachel’s social life, which is mighty convenient. Emma tags along to the coffee shop all the time, and Ben basically becomes Ross’s ex-wife’s problem (even though Ross talked all the time about what a great dad he was.)

6. Having a pet monkey is totally allowed in New York City.

Newsflash: it’s not. It’s even hard to have a normal pet like a dog in a city with so few pet-friendly apartments. Don’t get us started on the chick and the duck.

7. You can’t walk down the street in New York without meeting an eligible singleton.

Oh, if only this were the case. The friends met their dates in coffee shops, restaurants, parks and even the middle of the street. What’s more, these eligible bachelors and bachelorettes ended up being ripped firemen, hot Dutch girls or tech billionaires. One of the friends had a date practically every episode, and Tinder hadn’t even been invented yet.

8. The person you’re “meant to be” with has been there all along.

On Friends, the great romances can be traced back hilarious and romantic moments from the gangs’ teens. Ross has a crush on Rachel since high school, and it’s only when the friends rewatched Monica’s old prom video that Rachel realizes how much Ross has always loved her. Monica and Chandler begin to develop feelings for each other during Thanksgiving vacations in college. If only there were real-life flashbacks that could tell you who “the one” is.

9. You can stay friends after you break up.

After some minor speed bumps — Rachel dropping “We were on a break!” every episode, Ross accidentally saying Rachel’s name at his wedding to Emily — Rachel and Ross were really, truly friends after their breakup, and not in a “friends who are trying not to fork each other in the eye” way. Most couples are not so mature.

10. Your friends will always be your friends forever.

Nothing can come between the Friends; not money, marriage or parenthood. Even after they drop off their keys in the series finale, you know they’ll always be friends. Sadly, that’s not always the case with our real-life friendships where people grow apart, meet other through work or social events or lose touch after they have their own families.

In other words, Friends is basically an adolescent conception of an ideal adulthood; your entire clique is hanging out all the time, with (almost) no parents and (almost) no responsibilities and plenty of cute boys. Sounds nice — but it’s only fiction.

許多年過(guò)去，高腰牛仔褲又開(kāi)始流行，人們還是喜歡呆在咖啡館——只是和《老友記》里的主演一樣，我們大都還在過(guò)著程式化的合租生活。

距《老友記》大結(jié)局播出已有十年，我們?cè)ù蟀褧r(shí)間來(lái)追這部劇，現(xiàn)在我們已經(jīng)長(zhǎng)大，卻無(wú)法像劇中的瑞秋(Rachel)、莫妮卡(Rachel)、羅斯(Ross)、錢(qián)德勒(Chandler)、菲比(Phoebe)和喬伊(Phoebe)一樣活得瀟瀟灑灑。電視劇里的成年人又能參加新年舞會(huì)，又能看足球賽，還有閑情聽(tīng)關(guān)于臭臭貓的歌，電視劇里的約會(huì)總是充滿(mǎn)樂(lè)趣!(現(xiàn)實(shí)生活中的約會(huì)卻不是這樣。)

《老友記》把二十多歲的青春生活描寫(xiě)得過(guò)于美好，我們20多歲時(shí)發(fā)現(xiàn)現(xiàn)實(shí)生活其實(shí)不是這樣，具體而言有十個(gè)誤區(qū)：

1.朋友們會(huì)整天什么事也不干，只是陪著你。

在《老友記》里，你隨意走進(jìn)一間房總能找到一群好友的身影?，F(xiàn)實(shí)生活中卻不是這樣。實(shí)際上，你更有可能碰上一個(gè)敵人，而不是五個(gè)好友。我們大部分時(shí)間都在盤(pán)算著什么時(shí)候和朋友出去閑逛，卻很少付諸行動(dòng)。

2.你總能在咖啡館里找到舒適的沙發(fā)座位。

這一誤區(qū)是指，我們?nèi)タХ瑞^總能找到沙發(fā)座位。電視里中央公園咖啡館(Central Perk)正中有個(gè)很大的空沙發(fā)，足夠六個(gè)人舒舒服服得蜷在一起。而在現(xiàn)實(shí)生活中，除非沙發(fā)上有污漬，否則一定輪不到你。

3.工作只是個(gè)選擇，而不是必須。

再以中央公園咖啡館為例：你可能覺(jué)得電視里的六個(gè)人工作都很輕松，他們大白天不用上班，反而趕很遠(yuǎn)的路來(lái)咖啡館聚會(huì)，且一呆就是一個(gè)小時(shí)，這一點(diǎn)實(shí)在很奇怪。

4.你拿著廚師或是招待的工資，卻能租得起格林威治村(Greenwich Village)的兩居室公寓。

瑞秋和莫妮卡的公寓是“繼承”的，家具也都是莫妮卡祖母的，但她們一個(gè)是臨時(shí)廚師長(zhǎng)，一個(gè)是招待，還得工作付房租。電視劇中的生活好得不像是真的，現(xiàn)在看來(lái)，還真是假的。

5.生完孩子以后，你仍有時(shí)間和朋友一起玩。

大概任何事都不能阻止電視中的六個(gè)好友在咖啡館相聚，即使已為人父母，他們?nèi)詴?huì)時(shí)時(shí)碰面。第一季中，本(Ben)出生了，第八季中，艾瑪(Emma)出生了，即使已生了一個(gè)孩子，羅斯和瑞秋仍游刃有余地進(jìn)行著社交生活。艾瑪則一路跟著瑞秋夫婦加入了咖啡館的小圈子，本則跟著羅斯的前妻生活。(即使羅斯時(shí)刻標(biāo)榜自己是個(gè)偉大的父親。)

6.紐約可以養(yǎng)寵物猴。

快訊：紐約禁養(yǎng)寵物猴。紐約的許多公寓禁養(yǎng)寵物，即使是像狗之類(lèi)常見(jiàn)的寵物也很少見(jiàn)到，更別說(shuō)小雞小鴨了。

7.在大街上逛兩圈你就會(huì)有艷遇。

哦，這條要是真的就好了。老友記里的主演在咖啡館、飯店、公園、甚至是在路中間都能遇見(jiàn)潛在的約會(huì)對(duì)象。電視劇里的單身男女和各色人約會(huì)：消防員，熱辣的荷蘭籍女孩甚至是科技新貴。每一集《老友記》中都會(huì)有一個(gè)人有新的約會(huì)對(duì)象，總是還沒(méi)等愛(ài)的火花擦出就換人了。

8.你“命中注定的”那個(gè)人自始至終都在那里等你。

在《老友記》中，今天動(dòng)人的情誼則源于昨日的牽絆。羅斯在高中時(shí)就暗戀瑞秋，直到六個(gè)人聚在一起重看莫妮卡的舞會(huì)視頻時(shí)才發(fā)現(xiàn)了這一秘密。莫妮卡和錢(qián)德勒的感情則在大學(xué)時(shí)的感恩節(jié)假期時(shí)發(fā)展起來(lái)的?，F(xiàn)實(shí)生活中，要是我們能通過(guò)電影里的閃回看看誰(shuí)才是自己的“命中注定的那個(gè)人”就好了。

9.你和戀人分手后還能繼續(xù)做朋友。

瑞秋每集都想放棄和羅斯的感情——即使在我們看來(lái)，這只是些小摩擦，她總會(huì)說(shuō)“我們完了!”，羅斯在婚禮上錯(cuò)把艾米麗(Emily)叫成了瑞秋——瑞秋和羅斯分手后還能繼續(xù)做真正的朋友，而不是那種“盡量不碰面的朋友”，這點(diǎn)現(xiàn)實(shí)生活中大部分情侶無(wú)法做到。

10.你們的友誼會(huì)永存。

《老友記》中的友誼堅(jiān)不可摧，金錢(qián)，婚姻，孩子，都不能將他們分開(kāi)。即使每季末，他們可能遇到一些麻煩，但你知道，到了下一季他們還會(huì)和好如初。然而，現(xiàn)實(shí)生活中，隨著歲月的流逝好友難免會(huì)生疏，大家紛紛組建自己的家庭，因?yàn)楣ぷ麝P(guān)系或社交活動(dòng)偶爾碰面，然后又轉(zhuǎn)頭離開(kāi)。

換句話(huà)來(lái)說(shuō)，《老友記》中的成人世界只符合青少年們的想象;大家一直聚在一起，(幾乎)沒(méi)有父母的管束，不用承擔(dān)責(zé)任，生活中充斥著大把的帥哥。但說(shuō)得好聽(tīng)點(diǎn)——這樣的生活只存在于故事中。