·Benjamin Reinemund·
True love is we stick together in“thick and thin”,especially when it's thin, when it's troublesome. Then we should really bridge over the“troubled water”.That's what they say in English.But most of us fail the test, to ourselves, not to our partners.He might leave you;he might stay with you, because you're nice or not nice.But you fail yourself.You leave yourself.You leave the noblest being that you really are.So we should check up on this to our family members or whomever that is beloved and dear to us.Most of the time in criticaI situations, we just turn our backs and that is not good.
Of course we have our anger, our frustrations, because our partners are not as loving as usual, or whomever that is;but he or she is in a different situation. At that time, she or he is in mental suffering.It's just as bad or even worse than physical suffering.For physical suffering you can take a pill or you can have an injection and it stops or at least temporarily stops, and you feel the effect right away;or at least if people are in physical suffering, everyone sympathizes with them.
But when they are in mental anguish, and we pound them more on that, and we turn our backs and become cold and indifferent, that is even crueler, even worse. That person will be swimming alone in suffering.And especially they trust us as the next of kin, the next person, the one that they think they can rely on in times of need;and then at that time, we just turn around and are snobbish, because they didn't treat us nice so we just want to revenge.That's not the time.You can revenge later, when he's in better shape.Just slap him.
Actually, at that time, the person is not his usual self anymore. He was probably under very great pressure that he lost his own control.It's not really that lost his own control, but for example, when you are in a hurry, your talk is different, right?“Hand me that coat!Quick!Quick!Quick!”things like that.But normaIIy, you would say,“Honey, please, can you give me that coat?”Is that not so?Or when you're in pain-for example stomach pain, heartache or whatever-you scream loudly;and anyone who comes to talk to you, you don't talk in the usual way anymore, because you're in pain.
Similarly, when you are in a mental or psychological pain, you talk also in a very grouchy way, very cross. But that is understandable.So if we-any so-called loving partner or family member-do not understand even this very least, very basic concept, then we're finished.Then we are really in a bad situation.It's not that the partner will do anything to us.Whether he does anything to us later or not, that is no problem.The problem is us.The problem is we degrade ourselves, that we make less of a being of ourselves than we should be, than we are supposed to be, or than we really are.So do not make less of a being of yourselves.
本杰明·雷蒙德
真愛(ài)是兩個(gè)人不管處境好與不好都應(yīng)該在一起,特別是當(dāng)處境不好、有麻煩時(shí),更應(yīng)該“同甘共苦”——成語(yǔ)就是這么說(shuō)的。但對(duì)于我們自己來(lái)講,大部分人都無(wú)法做到這一點(diǎn),而不是對(duì)我們的同伴做不到。由于你的熱情,他會(huì)與你同甘共苦,或由于你的冷漠,他會(huì)離你而去。是你背棄了自己,背棄了本應(yīng)高尚的自我。所以我們應(yīng)該反省自己與家人或任何我們所鐘愛(ài)的人的關(guān)系。通常是在關(guān)鍵的時(shí)刻,我們背棄了他們,這樣很不好。
當(dāng)然我們也會(huì)生氣、失望,因?yàn)槲覀兊陌閭H或其他人不再像以前一樣可愛(ài),不過(guò)這是因?yàn)樗蛩幵诓煌臅r(shí)期,也許精神正飽受煎熬。精神上的痛苦和肉體上的折磨,有時(shí)是一樣的,有時(shí)則更甚。肉體的痛苦可以借吃藥或打針來(lái)制止,至少可以暫時(shí)止痛,可以馬上見(jiàn)效。在經(jīng)歷病痛時(shí),大家都會(huì)對(duì)你表示同情。
可是當(dāng)有人心理極度痛苦時(shí),我們卻落井下石,背棄他們,或變得冷漠、不關(guān)心,這更殘忍、更糟糕。那個(gè)人就只能孤孤單單地在痛苦中掙扎。尤其是當(dāng)他們把我們當(dāng)作除了親人之外最親密的人,認(rèn)為在需要時(shí)可以依靠時(shí),我們卻因?yàn)樗麄冞^(guò)去對(duì)我們不友好、我們想報(bào)復(fù),而勢(shì)利地轉(zhuǎn)身而去。這可真不是時(shí)候!你可以等一下再報(bào)復(fù),等他好一點(diǎn)時(shí),再打他一巴掌。
事實(shí)上,那時(shí)候的那個(gè)人已經(jīng)不再是平常的他,對(duì)我們的不友好可能是因壓力極大而失去自控造成的,也可能并非是因?yàn)槭Э?。就像你在匆忙時(shí),說(shuō)話(huà)的語(yǔ)氣就會(huì)不同于往常,你會(huì)說(shuō):“把外衣給我,快快快!”而你平常都會(huì)說(shuō):“親愛(ài)的,能不能把那件外衣給我?”是不是這樣?當(dāng)你在痛苦時(shí),比如在你的胃或頭疼痛難忍時(shí),你跟來(lái)人也無(wú)法像平常那樣溫和地講話(huà),因?yàn)槟阏吹貌坏昧恕?/p>
同理,當(dāng)你精神低迷或心情郁悶時(shí),你的語(yǔ)氣自然會(huì)顯得粗暴,但這是可以理解的。如果我們這些所謂的親愛(ài)的伴侶或家人不知道這個(gè)最起碼、最基本的道理,我們的處境會(huì)很尷尬。這并非是怕另一半將來(lái)會(huì)對(duì)我們做出不好的事情,無(wú)論對(duì)方以后對(duì)我們?cè)鯓?,?wèn)題都不在于他們,而在于我們自己——是我們自己低估了自己,我們沒(méi)有一如既往,沒(méi)有履行義務(wù),沒(méi)有堅(jiān)持真正的自我。所以千萬(wàn)不要失去自我。
Practising&Exercise 實(shí)戰(zhàn)提升篇
核心單詞
bridge[brid?]n.橋,橋梁 v.架橋;渡過(guò)
criticaI['kritik?l]adj.緊要的;關(guān)鍵性的;危急的
injection[in'd?ek??n]n.注射;注射劑
anguish['??gwi?]n.極度的痛苦;苦惱
snobbish['sn?bi?]adj.勢(shì)利眼的
revenge[ri'vend?]v.替……報(bào)仇;報(bào)復(fù),洗雪
normaIIy['n?:m?li]adv.正常地;通常,按慣例
concept['k?nsept]n.概念,觀(guān)念,思想
實(shí)用句型
It's just as bad or even worse than physicaI suffering.
精神上的痛苦和肉體上的折磨,有時(shí)是一樣的,有時(shí)則更甚。
①這是一個(gè)比較句,as連接同級(jí)比較,than差級(jí)比較。
②as……as和……一樣。類(lèi)似的表達(dá)還有so……as。
翻譯練習(xí)
1.請(qǐng)核對(duì)一下這些數(shù)據(jù)。(check up)
2.她早餐照樣吃面包和雞蛋。(as usual)
3.她男朋友離她而去,使她痛苦萬(wàn)分。(in pain)