讀點(diǎn)好英文:AIone but not LoneIy　享受獨(dú)處

所屬教程:英語(yǔ)漫讀

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2022年02月28日

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AIone but not LoneIy　享受獨(dú)處

·Shawn·

It scares us more than anything except death being alone.

Our fear of aloneness is so ingrained that given the choice of being by ourselves or being with others we opt for safety in numbers, even at the expense of lingering in painful, boring, or totally unredeeming company.

And yet more of us than ever are alone.

While many Americans have their soIo lifestyles thrust on them-people die, people go away-a huge and growing population is choosing to be alone.

In 1955，one in ten U. S.households consisted of one person.By 1999，the proportion was one in three.Single men and women accounted for 38.9 million of the nation's 110.5 million households.By 1999，single parents with children under the age of eighteen made up 27.3 percent of the nation's 70.9 million family households.Meanwhile, many more Americans are divorcing.In less than three decades, the number of divorced men and women has more than quadrupled-to a total of 18.3 million in 1996，compared to 4.3 miIlion in 1970.Never before in American history has living alone been the predominant lifestyle.

Nonetheless, we persist in the conviction that a solitary existence is the harshest penalty life can mete out. We loathe being alone-anytime, anywhere, for whatever reason.From childhood we're conditioned to accept that when alone we instinctiveIy ache for company, that loners are outsiders yearning to get in rather than people who are content with their own company.

Alone, we squander life by rejecting its full potential and wasting its remaining promises. Alone, we accept that experiences unshared are barely worthwhile, that sunsets viewed singly are not as spectacular, that time spent apart is fallow and pointless.

And so we grow old believing we are nothing by ourselves, steadfastly shunning the opportunities for self-discovery and personal growth that solitude could bring us.

We have even coined a word for those who prefer to be by themselves：antisocial, as if they were enemies of society. They are viewed as friendless, suspect in a world that goes around in twos or more and is wary of solitary travelers.

People who need people are threatened by people who don't. The idea of seeking contentment alone is heretical, for society steadfastly decrees that our completeness lies in others.Instead, we cling to each other for solace, comfort, and safety.

IronicaIIy, most of us crave more intimacy and companionship than we can bear. We begrudge ourselves, our spouses, and our partners sufficient physical and emotional breathing room, and then bemoan the suffocation of our relationships.

To point out these facts is not to suggest we should abandon all our close ties. Medical surveys show that the majority of elderly people who live alone, yet maintain frequent contact with relatives and friends, rate their physical and emotional well-being as“excellent”.Just as an apple a day kept the doctor away when they were young, an active social calendar appears to serve the same purpose now.

But we need to befriend and enjoy ourselves as well.

We must relearn to be alone. Instead of planting our solitude with dream blossoms, we choke the space with continuous music and chatter to which we do not even listen.It is simply there to fill the vacuum.We can't stand the silence, because silence includes thinking.And if we thought, we would have to face ourselves.

Let us learn, then, from those in search of what they have not been able to find and hold：peace of mind, gentleness of heart, calmness of spirit, daily joy. Who have come to understand that to know and to love and to be of value to others, they first must know and love and value themselves；that to find their way in the world, they have to start by finding themselves.

肖恩

除了死亡，我們最害怕的就是孤獨(dú)。

我們?nèi)绱撕ε鹿陋?dú)，以至于讓我們選擇是獨(dú)處還是跟別人一起時(shí)，我們會(huì)選擇后者以尋求安全感。甚至不惜付出如此多的代價(jià)：長(zhǎng)久的痛苦、煩悶，或完全無(wú)益的陪伴。

然而，現(xiàn)在，我們卻感受到了從未感受過(guò)的強(qiáng)烈的孤獨(dú)。

當(dāng)許多美國(guó)人開(kāi)始單身生活時(shí)——因?yàn)樯磉叺娜巳ナ阑螂x開(kāi)——一個(gè)日益增加的龐大人群開(kāi)始選擇獨(dú)身。

1955年，美國(guó)家庭中有十分之一的單親家庭。到1999年，這個(gè)比例擴(kuò)大到三分之一。在這個(gè)國(guó)家里，110，500，000個(gè)家庭中單親家庭占了38，900，000。到1999年，帶著一個(gè)十八歲以下小孩兒的單親家庭已經(jīng)占到了這個(gè)國(guó)家70，900，000個(gè)家庭的27.3%。同時(shí)，更多的美國(guó)人離婚了。不到三十年之間，離婚的人數(shù)增長(zhǎng)為原來(lái)的四倍——到1996年，這一數(shù)字已經(jīng)達(dá)到18，300，000，而1970年只有4，300，000。獨(dú)居史無(wú)前例地成為美國(guó)主流的生活方式。

然而，我們堅(jiān)持認(rèn)為，獨(dú)居是最殘酷的生活方式。我們討厭獨(dú)處——無(wú)論何時(shí)何地，出于何種原因。我們從孩提時(shí)候起就習(xí)慣認(rèn)同，獨(dú)處時(shí)的我們會(huì)本能地渴望有人陪伴，認(rèn)為孤獨(dú)者都是渴望加入群體生活，而非欣然獨(dú)處的。

獨(dú)處時(shí)，我們是在拒絕生命豐富多彩的可能，并耗費(fèi)生命存留的希望，是在浪費(fèi)生命。我們認(rèn)為，無(wú)人分享的經(jīng)歷毫無(wú)價(jià)值，一個(gè)人看到的日出并非那么壯觀(guān)，一個(gè)人度過(guò)的時(shí)光是多么了無(wú)生趣和毫無(wú)意義。

于是，當(dāng)我們年老時(shí)，就認(rèn)為自己無(wú)關(guān)緊要而倔強(qiáng)地逃避。殊不知，這正是我們發(fā)現(xiàn)自我和個(gè)人成長(zhǎng)的機(jī)會(huì)。

對(duì)于那些寧愿獨(dú)居的人，我們甚至給他們扣上“反社會(huì)”的頭銜，好像他們是社會(huì)的公敵。他們被人們認(rèn)為是缺少朋友、懷疑這個(gè)世界的人。那些結(jié)伴同行者警惕地盯著這些孤獨(dú)的旅行者。

依賴(lài)于他人的人受到獨(dú)立的人的威脅，獨(dú)自尋求滿(mǎn)足的想法被視為異端。因?yàn)檫@個(gè)社會(huì)固執(zhí)地認(rèn)定我們只有置身于他人之中，才能完整。因?yàn)槲覀儽仨氁栏接谒藖?lái)尋求慰藉、舒適和安全感。

可笑的是，我們大多數(shù)人所渴求的親昵關(guān)系，已經(jīng)超出了自己的承受能力。我們吝嗇于給自己、伴侶和伙伴足夠的空間，使其身心受到限制，然后，又對(duì)我們之間令人窒息的關(guān)系感到悲哀。

把這些事實(shí)指出來(lái)，并不是建議我們應(yīng)該拋棄所有的親密關(guān)系。醫(yī)學(xué)調(diào)查證明，大多數(shù)老人獨(dú)居，但與其親朋好友保持著密切的聯(lián)系，其身心健康的程度是“良好”。就像在他們年輕的時(shí)候，每天吃一個(gè)蘋(píng)果可以不用看醫(yī)生一樣，一個(gè)積極的社交活動(dòng)能產(chǎn)生同樣的效果。

但是，我們需要在友好待人的同時(shí)，享受獨(dú)處的樂(lè)趣。

我們必須重新學(xué)會(huì)獨(dú)處，不要用永不停歇的音樂(lè)和漫不經(jīng)心的聊天來(lái)充斥所有的空閑時(shí)間，而要培植孤獨(dú)，讓夢(mèng)之花綻放。我們不能忍受寂靜，僅僅只是想填滿(mǎn)那個(gè)空白，因?yàn)?，寂靜包含了思考。如果我們思考，則必須面對(duì)自己。

讓我們向探索者學(xué)習(xí)吧！然后發(fā)現(xiàn)他們尚未發(fā)現(xiàn)和擁有的東西：平和的心境，溫和的性格，冷靜的靈魂和平淡的快樂(lè)。要懂得如何去理解和熱愛(ài)他人，對(duì)他人有價(jià)值，必須先了解自己，珍愛(ài)自己。要找到屬于自己的道路，就必須從了解自我開(kāi)始。

核心單詞

soIo['s?ul?u]adj.單獨(dú)的

instinctiveIy[in'sti?ktivli]adv.（出于）本能地；憑直覺(jué)

coin[k?in]n.硬幣，錢(qián)幣v.鑄造（貨幣）

ironicaIIy[ai'r?nikli]adv.說(shuō)反話(huà)地；諷刺地

intimacy['intim?si]n.熟悉；親密；親近

active['?ktiv]adj.活躍的；活潑的

vacuum['v?kju?m]n.真空；空白，空虛

實(shí)用句型

NonetheIess, we persist in the conviction that a soIitary existence is the harshest penaIty Iife can mete out.

然而，我們堅(jiān)持認(rèn)為，獨(dú)居是最殘酷的生活方式。

①句中that 引導(dǎo)的定語(yǔ)從句用來(lái)修飾conviction。