Always Changing
◎ Anonymous
Please excuse me if I’m a little pensive today.
Mark is leaving, and I’m feeling kind of sad.
You probably don’t know Mark, but you might be lucky enough to know someone just like him. He’s been the heart and soul of the office for a couple of year combining exemplary[21] professional skills with a sweet nature and gentle disposition. He’s never been all that interested in getting credit for the terrific work he does. He just wants to do his job, and to do it superbly[22] well.
And now he’s moving on to an exciting new professional opportunity. It sounds like it could be the chance of a lifetime, and we’re genuinely, sincerely pleased for him. But that doesn’t make it any easier to say goodbye to a dear friend and trusted colleague.
Life has a way of throwing these curve balls at us. Just when we start to get comfortable with a person, a place or a situation, something comes along to alter the recipe. A terrific neighbor moves away. Someone in the family graduates. A child finds new love and loyalties through marriage. The family’s principle bread-winner[23] is laid off.
名 人 語(yǔ) 庫(kù)
Growth and change are the law of all life. Yesterday’s answers are inadequate for today’s problems—just as the solutions of today will not fill the needs of tomorrow.
~Franklin Roosevelt
生長(zhǎng)與變化是一切生命的法則。昨日的答案不適用于今日的問(wèn)題——正如今天的方法不能解決明天的需求。
——富蘭克林·羅斯福
如果我今天有點(diǎn)憂郁,請(qǐng)?jiān)徫摇?
馬克要走了,我感到有些難過(guò)。
你可能不認(rèn)識(shí)馬克,但如果你認(rèn)識(shí)像他那樣的人,你可就走運(yùn)了。好幾年來(lái),他都是辦公室里的核心和靈魂人物,專業(yè)技能堪稱模范,態(tài)度和藹,性格溫和。他的工作表現(xiàn)十分出色,卻對(duì)于爭(zhēng)風(fēng)邀功從無(wú)興趣。他只想做他的工作,并能出色地完成。
而現(xiàn)在,他要向一份令人振奮的新職邁進(jìn)。這聽起來(lái)就像一個(gè)千載難逢的機(jī)會(huì),我們也真心誠(chéng)摯地替他高興。但是,那并沒(méi)使我們跟這樣一位親愛(ài)的朋友、信任的同事告別來(lái)得容易些。
生活用它的方式不斷向我們拋出曲線球。當(dāng)我們剛開始與某人融洽相處,或是適應(yīng)一個(gè)地方或一種情境時(shí),某事就發(fā)生了,并改變了這種境況。很棒的鄰居要搬家了。某個(gè)家庭成員要畢業(yè)了。孩子們找到新歡,通過(guò)婚姻找到忠誠(chéng)。家庭的支柱失業(yè)了。
Our ability to cope with change and disruption determine to a great degree, our peace, happiness and contentment in life.
But how do we do that? Philosophers have considered the question for centuries and their responses have been varied. According to the author of the Biblical book of Ecclesiaste , comfort can be found in remembering that “to every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.” Kahlil Gibran urged his listeners to “l(fā)et today embrace the past with remembrance, and the future with longing”.
A friend of mine who works for the government is fond of reminding his fellow bureaucrats that “survivabi-lity depends upon adaptability”. And then there’s Chris, the California surf-rat, who once told me that the answer to life’s problems can be summed up in four words: “Go with the flow”.
“It’s like surfing,” Chris explained. “You can’t organize the ocean. Waves just happen. You ride ’em where they take you, then you paddle back out there and catch the next one. Sure, you’re always hoping for the perfect wave where you can get, like, you know, totally tubular. But mostly you just take ’em the way they come. It’s not like you’re trying to nail Jell-O to a tree, you know?”
I’m not exactly sure, but I think Chris was saying that life is a series of events—both good and bad. No matter how deft[24] your organizational skill there will always be life-influencing factors over which you have no control. The truly successful person expects the unexpected, and is prepared to make adjustments should the need arise—as it almost always does.
我們應(yīng)付變化和混亂的能力,在很大程度上決定了我們生活的安寧、幸福和滿意度。
但我們應(yīng)該怎么做?哲學(xué)家們已經(jīng)思考這個(gè)問(wèn)題好幾個(gè)世紀(jì)了,而他們的回答各有不同。根據(jù)《圣經(jīng)·舊約全書·傳道書》的作者,人們可以通過(guò)記住“大千世界,萬(wàn)物皆有時(shí)”來(lái)獲得安慰。而卡里·紀(jì)伯倫也曾敦促他的聽眾去“讓今日用記憶擁抱過(guò)去,用渴望擁抱未來(lái)”。
我一個(gè)在政府工作的朋友喜歡提醒他那幫官僚同事“生存取決于適應(yīng)性”。還有克里斯,加利福尼亞州的一位沖浪愛(ài)好者,他曾告訴我說(shuō),生活中所有問(wèn)題的答案都可以總結(jié)為四個(gè)字——“順其自然”。
“就像沖浪,”克里斯解釋道,“你無(wú)法掌控大海。波浪隨時(shí)都可能蕩起。你乘浪而行,任隨它領(lǐng)你前行,然后,你伏身于沖浪板往回,接而踏乘下一個(gè)浪。當(dāng)然,你總會(huì)希望等到那個(gè)完美的浪頭,就像你知道的那種滾筒浪。但大多數(shù)情況,也就是隨波逐流,這并不是什么登天難事,知道嗎?”
我不太確定,但我想克里斯是在說(shuō)生活是由一連串事件組成的——其中有好也有壞。無(wú)論你的組織技能有多嫻熟,總會(huì)有些你無(wú)法控制的因素在影響你的生活。真正的成功者能夠預(yù)計(jì)意料之外的事,并準(zhǔn)備好在必要時(shí)做出調(diào)整——這種情況總是發(fā)生。
That doesn’t mean you don’t keep trying to make all your dreams come true. It just means that when things come up that aren’t exactly in your plan, you work around them—and then you move on. Of course, some bumps along the road of life are easier to take than others. A rained-out picnic, for example, is easier to cope with than the sudden death of a loved one. But the principle is the same.
“Change, indeed, is painful, yet ever needful,” said philosopher Thomas Carlyle. “And if memory have its force and worth, so also has hope.”
We’re going to miss Mark, just like you’ll miss that graduate, that neighbor or that newlywed[25] . But rather than dwell on the sadness of our parting, we’ll focus on our hopes for a brighter future—for him, and for us. And then we’ll go out and do everything we can to make that future happen.
Until our plans change—again.
那并不意味著你不需要不斷努力使你的夢(mèng)想成真。它只是說(shuō),當(dāng)計(jì)劃之外的事發(fā)生時(shí),你得去應(yīng)付,然后繼續(xù)前行。當(dāng)然,人生沿途出現(xiàn)的一些波折要比另一些容易處理。比如,因?yàn)橄掠暌∠安?,總比自己所?ài)的人突然去世更容易應(yīng)付。但原則是相同的。
“的確,改變會(huì)給人帶來(lái)痛苦,但改變卻是永遠(yuǎn)必需的?!闭軐W(xué)家托馬斯·卡萊爾說(shuō)道,“而且,如果記憶擁有力量和價(jià)值,那么希望也同樣擁有?!?
我們會(huì)想念馬克,就像你會(huì)想念畢業(yè)離家的孩子、那位搬走的鄰居或那新婚的兒女一樣。但我們與其沉湎于離別帶來(lái)的悲傷,不如把期望專注于一個(gè)更光明的未來(lái)——為他,也為我們自己。然后,我們將走出去,盡我們所能,去實(shí)現(xiàn)夢(mèng)想中的未來(lái)。
直到我們的計(jì)劃——再次改變。