閨蜜的訂婚宴,我卻被踢出局

My friend Liza and I grew up together from day one-our parents were best friends before they had us. I got married really young, in 1999, when I was 18 and Liza was 19. She was my maid of honor, and two years later, when she got engaged, she asked me to be hers. It was always assumed, and I, of course, said yes.

我和麗薩是"穿一條開襠褲"長大的--在我們出生前，我們的父母就已經(jīng)是最好的朋友了。我很早就結(jié)婚了(1999年)，那時(shí)我18歲，麗薩19歲。她是我的伴娘，2年后，她也訂婚了，并邀我擔(dān)任她的伴娘。一直以來我們都是這么設(shè)想的，所以我答應(yīng)了。

Around the same time, I realized I'd gotten married way too young, and the relationship wasn't working. A couple of months after Liza had asked me to be her maid of honor, around the summer of 2001, I announced I was getting divorced. We had gone dress shopping but didn't have bridesmaids gowns yet.

與此同時(shí)，我意識到自己結(jié)婚結(jié)的太早了，我和丈夫的感情并不是很好。麗薩邀我擔(dān)任伴娘后沒過多久(大約是2001年的夏天)，我就宣布自己離婚了。我們一起看了婚紗禮服，但沒有買伴娘裙。

 

Within a couple of weeks of me telling her about the divorce, Liza called and said I was "no longer welcome in her wedding party," because I didn't believe in the sacrament of marriage. I was shocked and in disbelief. It felt like I got punched in the gut. It was like, do I even know you? She's not an especially religious person, so the fact she used a phrase like, "the sacrament of marriage," was disorienting.

我告訴麗薩我離婚了，幾周后她打電話告訴我"她不希望我參加她的婚禮，"因?yàn)樗X得我對待婚姻的態(tài)度不神圣。我非常震驚，不敢相信她竟然這樣做。像是被人重?fù)粢蝗Ｎ揖谷蛔晕覒岩?，麗薩還是我認(rèn)識的那個(gè)她嗎?她的宗教信仰并不強(qiáng)烈，所以她所說的'婚姻的神圣'令我迷失。

It felt like I'd lost my best friend. I mean, whether or not you want a divorce, it's always a hard process. And not only did I not have her support through this big life transition, I also got booted from her wedding. She replaced me with this party-girl friend she had temporarily. That hurt, too. It felt like I was getting replaced with someone who wasn't even important to her.

貌似我失去了最好的朋友。畢竟，不管你想不想離婚，整個(gè)過程都是非常痛苦的。發(fā)生這一重大生活轉(zhuǎn)變的時(shí)候，她沒有支持我;而且還將我踢出局，不希望我參加她的婚禮!她臨時(shí)找了一個(gè)交際花，代替我擔(dān)任伴娘。此舉著實(shí)令人心痛。就好像我被一個(gè)她并不看重的人所取代了。

I didn't attend the ceremony, which was the following year, although my family did, because Liza was really close with them.

我沒有參加第二年的婚禮，盡管因?yàn)辂愃_和我的家人關(guān)系親密，他們都去了。

A few years ago, I found out she was pregnant and reached out via e-mail. I just wanted to break the ice-like, "Hey, I heard you're pregnant, congrats!" She responded a few months later and was cordial, but we didn't really talk about her wedding. We live about 20 minutes apart and makes plans to see each other maybe once a year.

幾年前，我得知她懷孕了，所以發(fā)了封郵件給她。我想打破這層隔閡，在郵件中寫道"嘿，聽說你懷孕了，恭喜呀!"幾個(gè)月后，她很真誠的回復(fù)了我，但我們都沒有談及那場婚禮。我們相隔20分鐘的車程，計(jì)劃每年見一次面。