請(qǐng)把握好人生中出現(xiàn)的每一面鏡子

The first time you meet someone, in the first moment you form an impression inyour mind of that person. Your reactions to other people, however, are really just barometers for how you perceive yourself. Your reactions to others saymore about you than they do about others. You cannot really love or hate about yourself. We are usually drawn to those who are most like us and tend todislike those who display those aspects of ourselves that we dislike.

Therefore, you can allow others to be the mirror to illuminate more clearlyyour own feelings of self-worth. Conversely, you can view the people you judge negatively as mirrors to show you what you are not accepting about yourself.

To coexist peacefully with others, you will need to learn tolerance. A bigchallenge is to shift your perspective radically from judgment of other to a lifelong exploration of yourself. Your task is to assess all the decisions,judgments you make onto others and to begin to view them as clues to how you can heal yourself and become whole.

I recently has a business lunch with a man who displayed objectionable tablemanners. My first reaction was to judge him as offensive and his table mannersas disgusting. When I noticed that I was judging him, I stopped and askedmyself what I was feeling. I discovered that I was embarrassed to be seen withsomeone who was chewing with his mouth open and loudly blowing his nose. I was astonished to find how much I cared about how the other people in the restaurant perceived me.

Remember that your judgment of someone will not serve as a protective shield against you becoming like him. Just because I judge my lunch partner as offensive does not prevent me from ever looking or acting like him. In the same way, extending tolerance to him would not cause me to suddenly begin chewing my food with my mouth open.

When you approach life in this manner, those with whom you have the greatest grievances as well as those you admire and love can be seen as mirrors,guiding your to discover parts of yourself that you reject and to embrace your greatest quality.

第一次見到某人時(shí)，在第一瞬間，你的腦海里會(huì)形成一個(gè)印象。你對(duì)他人的反應(yīng)，其實(shí)就像你如何看待自己的晴雨表，更多的是反映處你自己，而不是其他人。你不可能真正喜歡或討厭他人的某個(gè)方面, 除非它反射出你對(duì)自身某方面的喜好. 通常, 我們靠近與自己類似的人, 而那些展示處我們自身某個(gè)不喜歡的方面的人, 往往令我們討厭。

所以, 你以他人為鏡, 能更清楚地折射出你對(duì)自我價(jià)值的感受. 反過來, 對(duì)于你不認(rèn)同的人, 你也能以之為鏡, 顯露出對(duì)自身不滿意的方面.要與他人和睦相處, 你必須學(xué)會(huì)容忍. 你要從根本上轉(zhuǎn)變視角, 不去評(píng)判別人, 而是不斷地反省自身, 而這是一個(gè)巨大的挑戰(zhàn). 你的任務(wù)是, 以你對(duì)別人做出的所有的決定, 評(píng)判為線索, 來改進(jìn)和完善自我。

最近, 我與一位客戶一起吃午飯, 他吃飯的樣子實(shí)在令我很反感. 我的第一反應(yīng)就是: 他粗魯無禮, 吃飯的樣子令人惡心. 當(dāng)我意識(shí)到自己正評(píng)判他時(shí), 便停下來, 捫心自問是什么感覺. 被人看到與這么個(gè)張著嘴咀嚼, 大聲擤鼻涕的人在一起, 我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己感到很難堪. 我還發(fā)現(xiàn)自己很在乎餐館里其他人對(duì)我的看法, 這讓我感到很驚訝。

記住, 你對(duì)他人的評(píng)判并不意味著你就不會(huì)像他那樣. 比如, 僅僅因?yàn)槲以u(píng)判那位客戶粗魯無禮, 并不能保證我永遠(yuǎn)都不會(huì)有像他那樣的行為. 同樣, 如果我容忍他的行為, 并不會(huì)因此突然張嘴咀嚼。

假如你用這種方式走進(jìn)生活, 你就能同時(shí)與你最不滿的人, 和你最尊敬, 最愛的人為鏡,指引你發(fā)現(xiàn)自身的缺陷, 同時(shí)欣賞自己的最佳品質(zhì)。