大約一個月前的一天,我突然想要嘗試堅持一天不去評判任何人。有人試過這么做嗎?真的很難。
There was the woman walking down the street blowing cigarette smoke in her kid's face; the guy at the beach wearing his bright yellow banana hammock; and the woman at the grocery store with 30 items in the 15-items-or-less line.
一位女士在街上走著,噴了一口煙在她孩子的臉上;沙灘上,一位男子躺在香蕉型大吊床上;雜貨店的某個女人帶著三十多件商品卻跑去“15件以下”的隊伍結(jié)賬……
My challenge of going a whole day without judging actually turned into an exercise that said less about the people around me and more about myself; it caused me to start examining myself.
堅持一天不去評判別人,這項挑戰(zhàn)到后來更像是一種練習(xí),鍛煉我少說閑話,多關(guān)注自己。它讓我開始審視我自己。
I wonder if sometimes we fear the way others respond to us because the way they treat us is a mirror of the way we ourselves behave. Maybe that's why we notice certain attributes in others, and maybe that's why those attributes can get under our skin. Perhaps it's because deep down we identify with these behaviors that rub us the wrong way.
我很好奇,是不是有時我們害怕別人對待自己的態(tài)度是因為這恰好映射出了我們的行為。也許,這也是為什么我們會對別人身上某些特質(zhì)特別敏感、特別抓狂。
During my day of no judgment, I tried hard to focus my thoughts inward, so as not to be tempted to judge. And while I was taking a good hard look at myself, I realized that my fear of being judged came from my own tendency to judge.
在沒有了評判的一整天中,我試著關(guān)注自己的內(nèi)心,這樣就不會有對人指手畫腳的想法了。然而當(dāng)我好好反省自己的時候,我認識到,我對外界評判的恐懼竟然來源于自己評判別人的習(xí)慣。
"Look at her shoes; I can't believe she wore that dress; check out that guy's hair." Maybe it's just human nature to do this, but once I became conscious of the habit, I realized how often I do it, which brought up the million-dollar question: "Who am I to judge?" No one, that's who!
“看她那雙鞋啊!”“這種裙子她也敢穿出來?”“看那男人的發(fā)型。”也許這些都是人之本性,而一旦我注意到這一習(xí)慣,就會發(fā)現(xiàn)它有多頻繁。接著關(guān)鍵問題就來了:“我有什么資格去評判?”答案就是:沒有!
After a day of working hard not to judge anyone, I was exhausted. I was grateful to get home where I didn't have to interact with anyone. But the day of examining myself had left me reeling.
在沒有了評判的一整天中,我身心俱疲。我很慶幸終于能夠回到家,不用再和任何人打交道。不過這一天的自我反省讓我內(nèi)心大為震動。
If you've never examined yourself, go ahead and do it! If you're afraid to do it (because you're afraid of what you'll find out) that's even more of a reason to go ahead with the exercise. Examining yourself can help you build a healthy self-awareness.
如果你還沒試過審視自我,放手去做吧!如果你對此感到害怕(因為你害怕會發(fā)現(xiàn)什么結(jié)果),那這恰恰是你要去這么做的理由。審視自己將會幫助你建立自我認知。
So go ahead -- check yourself out! You never know what you might find.
所以,來吧——審視你自己!你永遠不知道會有什么樣的發(fā)現(xiàn)。