36個問題讓你跟陌生人相愛

 

The path to true love just got a whole lot smoother.

通往真愛的路現(xiàn)在更平坦了一點。

The key? To ask someone the 36 questions below - and answer them yourself. Doing this, psychologists have claimed, can make absolutely anyone fall in head-over-heels.

關(guān)鍵方法?問某人以下36個問題——同時自己也回答這些問題。心理學(xué)家稱，這樣做，就絕對可以讓任何人愛得神魂顛倒。

If it sounds easy; it isn't.

如果說聽上去很容易，那么實際上可沒那么簡單。

The questions begin gently enough: 'Would you like to be famous?'; 'What's your perfect day?'; Or 'When did you last sing to yourself?'

這些問題一開始很溫和：“你想成名嗎?”“你心中完美的一天是怎樣的?”或“你上次自己一個人唱歌是什么時候?”

But they rapidly become more personal.

但是很快，問題就變得更私人。

'Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?' and 'How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?'

“關(guān)于自己將如何死去，你有神秘的預(yù)感嗎?”“你和你母親的關(guān)系怎么樣?”

The idea is to foster the atmosphere of mutual vulnerability and intimacy that a romantic relationship thrives on. Albeit by revealing to each other your deepest, darkest thoughts - the sort it usually takes a few months to admit (if ever).

這些問題的主要意圖是營造一個相互脆弱和親密的氛圍，以促進戀愛關(guān)系的發(fā)展，盡管這需要向彼此吐露你們最深的、最黑暗的想法，這些想法你往往需要幾個月的時間才會承認(rèn)(如果承認(rèn)的話)。

The 36 questions were published in a study by psychologist Arthur Aron called 'The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness'.

這36個問題叫做“人際親密產(chǎn)生試驗”，由心理學(xué)家亞瑟·艾倫發(fā)表在一份研究中。

He tested the theory that it's possible to make two people fall in love by getting them to share intimate thoughts and memories. To prove this, he persuaded 52 sets of male and female strangers and 19 sets of female strangers to try it. Two of the participants entered a lab via separate doors, before sitting opposite one another and answering his series of ever-more personal and probing questions.

他通過做實驗來證明兩個人通過分享私人的想法和記憶可以相愛。為了證明這個觀點，他說服52對陌生男女和19對陌生女性參與實驗。兩名參與者由不同的門進入同一間實驗室，然后面對面坐著，回答這些越來越私人和深入的問題。

Six months after the experiment? Two of them got married (and they invited the whole lab to the ceremony).

6個月后?兩名實驗者結(jié)婚了(他們邀請了整個實驗室的人來參加婚禮)。

Aron's questions, which first appeared in 1997, are experiencing a bounce in popularity following an article in the New York Times by university professor Mandy Len Catron. She tried the experiement with an acquaintance.

艾倫的問題最早出現(xiàn)于1997年。大學(xué)教授曼迪·萊·凱特倫(Mandy Len Catron)和一名陌生人嘗試了這個實驗，并在《紐約時報》刊文討論，隨后這個系列問題走紅。

The result? (Spoiler alert klaxon). They fell in love, of course.

實驗結(jié)果?(劇透警告)他們相愛了，當(dāng)然的。

The last, terrifying, element of Aron's experiment requires the two participants to stare into each other's eyes for four minutes.

艾倫的試驗最后一件嚇人的事是，兩名實驗者要互相凝視對方的眼睛四分鐘。

Catron describes it thus: "I’ve skied steep slopes and hung from a rock face by a short length of rope, but staring into someone’s eyes for four silent minutes was one of the more thrilling and terrifying experiences of my life".

凱特倫對此是這樣描述的：“我爬過陡坡，掛過崖壁，但是，無聲地盯著一個人的眼睛看四分鐘是我這輩子最驚悚最嚇人的經(jīng)歷之一。”

Fancy giving it a try? We're reprinted the original questions below.

想試試嗎?我們將原始問題刊在了下面。

So grab your potential love interest - or any willing particpant (that's half the battle, says Catron, just trying the experiment signals that you're open to falling in love) and get questioning.

所以，找來你的意中人——或者隨便哪個愿意的人(這就是成功的一半了，凱特倫說，僅僅參與這個實驗就意味著你愿意墜入愛河)來回答問題吧。

You never know what might happen.

你永遠不知道未來會發(fā)生什么。

The 36 questions which can make you 'fall in love with anyone':

36個能讓你“墜入愛河”的問題在這兒：

Set One

第一部分

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

1. 給你一個任意的機會，你會選擇和誰共進晚餐?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

2. 你想要成名嗎?以什么方式?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

3. 打電話前，你會事先排演嗎?為什么?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

4. 你心中一個完美的日子是怎樣的?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

5. 你上次唱歌對著自己唱歌是什么時候?對著別人呢?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

6. 如果你可以活到90歲，而且30歲以后身心都保持在不再變老，那這60年你想要怎么度過?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

7. 關(guān)于怎么死去，你有沒有過神秘的預(yù)感?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

8. 舉出你和你對面這位的3個共同點。

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

9. 你人生中最感激的是什么?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

10. 如果可以改變你的成長過程，你想要改變什么?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

11. 你只有4分鐘時間，但請在這4分鐘內(nèi)盡量詳細地對你的搭檔講述你的人生故事。

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

12. 如果你明天醒來時能得到一種新的能力或品質(zhì)，你想要的是什么?

Set Two

第二部分

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

13. 如果水晶球可以告訴你關(guān)于你自己、你的未來、你的人生等等一切事情，你想要知道什么?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

14. 有沒有什么是你夢寐以求的?但為什么沒有做?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

15. 你人生中最大的成就是什么?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

16. 友誼中你最珍視的是什么?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

17. 你最珍貴的回憶是什么?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

18. 你最糟糕的記憶是什么?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

19. 如果你知道你只有一年可以活了，你會改變你的生活方式嗎?為什么?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

20. 對于你，友誼意味著什么?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

21. 愛與喜歡在你的人生中分別扮演什么角色?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

22. 輪流分享你認(rèn)為戀人應(yīng)該具有的好品質(zhì)，總共分享5個。

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

23. 你的家庭親密、溫暖嗎?你覺得你的童年是不是比其他人更幸福一些?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

24. 你與母親的關(guān)系怎樣?

Set Three

第三部分

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “

25. 用“我們”做主語造3個肯定句。比如“我們都在這間屋子里……”

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “

26. 補全這個句子：“我希望有人可以與我分享……”

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

27. 如果你要和對面那位成為好朋友，他或者她最應(yīng)該知道的事情是什么?請與他或者她分享。

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

28. 告訴你對面那位，你喜歡他(她)什么?必須非常誠實，說一些你可能不會和第一次見面的人說的話。

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

29. 分享一件你人生中的囧事。

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

30. 你上一次當(dāng)著他人的面哭是什么時候?還是獨自一人呢?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

31. 告訴對面那位，你已經(jīng)開始喜歡他身上的一些東西。

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

32. 有什么事情是不能隨便開玩笑的?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

33. 如果你今夜就會死去，而且沒有機會和任何人說，你最遺憾的沒有說出口的話是?為什么你還沒有告訴他們?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

34. 你的家著火了，而且你所有的東西都在里面。在救出你的愛人和寵物以后，你還有機會安全救出一樣?xùn)|西。你會救什么?為什么?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

35. 你的家庭中誰死去會最讓你困擾?為什么?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

36. 分享一個你的私人困擾，并向你對面那位請求解決建議，請他(她)以自己的方式來解決。然后，再詢問他(她)對于這個問題的個人感受。

Vocabulary

head-over-heels: 完全地

hunch: 預(yù)感

vulnerability: 脆弱性

rehearse: 彩排

constitute: 構(gòu)成

dash: 猛沖