笑得我多年老年癡呆都痊愈了呢！笑出聲了

在網上看到了一個帖子“外國高中作文比喻句摘錄”，感覺外國學生的腦洞真是可怕……

很有趣所以本人試著翻譯了一下，其中一些句子不乏黑色幽默，外國孩子的想象力正是天朝人民最為欠缺的。

01. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other Sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. - Sue Lin Chong, Washington

她的臉是標準的橢圓形，就像一個正圓的兩側被瘦腿機輕輕壓扁了一樣。

- Sue Lin Chong(華盛頓)

02. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. -Chuck Smith, Woodbridge

思緒在他頭腦中翻滾，不斷合并又分開，像洗衣機里沒加防粘劑的內衣。

- Chuck Smith(伍德布里奇)

03. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a Guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. -Joseph Romm, Washington

他說的話帶有過來人的睿智，恰似一個人因為沒用帶針孔的盒子看日食，結果眼瞎了，然后此人走遍全國，到各所高校宣傳沒用帶針孔的盒子看日食會帶來怎樣的后果一樣。

- Joseph Romm(華盛頓)

04. She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again. -Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station

她很吸引人的目光，就像紗窗門上的勾型門閂，平時吊在那里逛蕩，一有人推開門，它就立刻飛起來。

- Rich Murphy(費爾法克斯站)

05. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't. -Russell Beland, Springfield

小船輕輕漂過湖面，那景象恰恰是一個保齡球做不到的。

- Russell Beland(斯普林菲爾德)

06. McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup. -Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring

麥克從12層樓摔下來砸在人行道上，就像個盛滿菜湯的垃圾袋。

- Paul Sabourin(銀泉)

07. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30. -Roy Ashley, Washington

從閣樓傳來一聲怪異的嚎叫。整個場面有一種詭異的、超現實的感覺，就像你在別的城市度假，發(fā)現《Jeopardy》(電視節(jié)目)在7點而不是7點半上映一樣。

- Roy Ashley(華盛頓)

08. Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. -Chuck Smith,Woodbridge

她的頭發(fā)在雨中閃爍，就像打噴嚏之后的鼻毛。

- Chuck Smith(伍德布里奇)

09. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center. -Russell Beland, Springfield

她的雙眼就像兩個棕色的圓圈，中心各有一個大黑點。

- Russell Beland(斯普林菲爾德)

10. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. -Unknown

她的詞匯量很差，差得就像，那什么似的。

- 佚名

11. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree. -Jack Bross, Chevy Chase

他的身高恰似一棵六英尺三英寸的樹。

- Jack Bross(塞維蔡斯)

12. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease. -Gary F. Hevel, Silver Spring

冰雹從人行道上濺起來，好像被扔進油鍋炸的蛆。

- Gary F. Hevel(銀泉)

13. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. -Jennifer Hart, Arlington

這對苦命情侶曾被殘酷的命運分隔，現在他們從草地兩端跑向對方，就像兩列貨運火車，一輛以每小時55英尺的速度于下午6點36分離開克理夫蘭，另一輛以每小時35英尺的速度于下午4點19分離開托皮卡車站。

- Jennifer Hart(阿林頓)

14. The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can. -Wayne Goode, Madison,AL

政治家走了，但沒人注意他，就像Dr Pepper罐頭上Dr.尾端的句點一樣沒有存在感。

- Wayne Goode(阿拉巴馬)

15. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. -Russell Beland, Springfield

約翰和瑪麗從來沒見過面。他們就像兩只從來也沒見過面的蜂鳥一樣。

- Russell Beland(斯普林菲爾德)

16. The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.-Barbara Fetherolf, Alexandria

雷聲中帶著不祥，那聲音好像給戲劇中的雷雨場面配音時，幾個人在后臺搖晃一片薄金屬板一樣。

- Barbara Fetherolf(亞歷山大)

17. The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.-Unknown

紅磚墻的顏色就像磚紅色的蠟筆一般。

- 佚名

18. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River. -Brian Broadus, Charlottesville

他深愛上了她，仿佛他的心是個犯罪集團的告密人，而她是東河(East River)一般。

- Brian Broadus(夏洛茨維爾)

19. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut. -Sandra Hull, Arlington

就算到了晚年，祖父的思維仍然像捕獸夾一樣(注：“像捕獸夾一般敏銳的思維”是常用比喻)，只不過那個捕獸夾被放在外面太久了，已經銹死了。

- Sandra Hull(阿林頓)

20. The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview portion of "Jeopardy!" -Jean Sorensen, Herndon

門被強制打開過，就像《Jeopardy》的采訪單元的對話一樣勉強。

- Jean Sorensen(赫爾頓)

21. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do. -Jerry Pannullo, Kensington

子彈打完了，就像打完了的子彈一樣。

- Jerry Pannullo(肯辛頓)

22. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. -Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington

計劃很好懂，就像我的小叔一樣好懂。但和小叔不同的是，這計劃或許行得通。

- Malcolm Fleschner(阿林頓)

23. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while. -Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington

年輕的戰(zhàn)士臉上帶著渴望的神情，就是那種你幾天不吃東西露出的表情。

- Malcolm Fleschner(阿林頓)

24. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something. -John Kammer, Herndon

他就像鴨子一樣笨。并不是比喻句中的笨鴨子，而是一只腦子有問題的真鴨子——也許因為踩了地雷而腦殘了。

- John Kammer(赫爾頓)

25. Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. -Barbara Collier, Garrett Park

她的藝術感知力極其敏銳，猶如一個能分辨出黃油和“我不相信它不是黃油”牌人造黃油的人。

- Barbara Collier(加列特公園)

26. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up. -Susan Reese, Arlington

她的笑聲低沉、嘶啞又真誠，就像一只狗在嘔吐之前發(fā)出的聲音一樣。

- Susan Reese(阿林頓)

27. It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before. -Marian Carlsson, Lexington

它從樓梯上滾下來，樣子好像一個任何人都前所未見的東西。

- Marian Carlsson(列克星敦)

28. The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Tex.) in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Ill.) in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the impeachment of President William Jefferson Clinton. -J. F. Knowles, Springfield

這把刀的銳利程度簡直和議員赫拉·杰克森·李(外號：D-Tex)在彈劾威廉·杰弗遜·克林頓總統(tǒng)的眾議院司法委員會聽證會上向議員亨利·海德(外號：R-III)提出最初幾點論證時的語氣一樣。

- J. F. Knowles(斯普林菲爾德)

29. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. -Jennifer Hart, Arlington

芭蕾舞演員優(yōu)雅地在身后輕輕抬起一條細長的腿，就像消防栓邊的一條狗一般。

- Jennifer Hart(阿林頓)

30. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM. -Paul J. Kocak, Syracuse

妻子的不忠讓他三十年的婚姻土崩瓦解——當他意識到這一點時，他受到了強烈的震撼，仿佛先前不會收附加費的自動提款機突然開始收取附加費一樣。

- Paul J. Kocak(錫拉庫扎)

31. The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium. -Unknown

蒲公英在微風中輕搖，仿佛設置成中檔風力的搖頭風扇。

- 佚名

32. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up. -Susan Reese, Arlington

他深墜愛河。當她說話時，他仿佛聽到了悅耳的鈴聲，仿佛她是一輛正在倒車的垃圾車。

- Susan Reese(阿林頓)

33. Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser. -Chuck Smith, Woodbridge

她的眼睛就像一池清泉，只不過清潔工忘了在池中放pH凈水劑。

- Chuck Smith(伍德布里奇)

34. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef. -Brian Broadus, Charlottesville

她如此依賴他，仿佛她是大腸桿菌菌群，而他是一塊室溫下的加拿大牛肉一般。

- Brian Broadus(夏洛茨維爾)

35. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs. -Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park

她走進我的辦公室，樣子好像一條少了98條腿的蜈蚣。

- Jonathan Paul(加列特公園)

36. Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened. -Sue Lin Chong, Washington

她的聲音急促尖利，仿佛第一代熱敏紙傳真機的紙帶松了時發(fā)出的聲音。

-Sue Lin Chong(華盛頓)

37. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall. -Brian Broadus, Charlottesville

這種痛覺就如同你不小心用訂書機把舌頭訂在墻上后感覺到的疼痛一樣。

- Brian Broadus(夏洛茨維爾)