一位爸爸寫給女兒的信：關(guān)于你未來的那個他

我的寶貝小甜心：

Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was "How to keep him interested."

最近我和你媽媽準備在谷歌上搜一個答案。還沒輸完整個問題，谷歌就顯示了一列世界上最常見的搜索。其中排在第一的是“怎么能讓他一直對我感興趣”。

It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.

這讓我有點震驚。我瀏覽了無數(shù)相關(guān)的論文，這些文章都是關(guān)于女孩如何性感保持美麗，什么時候給他送上一杯啤酒和三明治，以及如何讓他覺得聰明和有優(yōu)越感。

And I got angry.

我怒了。

Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to "keep him interested."

親愛的寶貝，你從來，完全都不需要，“讓他一直對你感興趣。”

Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul -- in that unshakeable place that isn't rattled by rejection and loss and ego -- that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)

親愛的，你唯一的任務就是不斷去了解自己的靈魂——你不該讓拒絕、失去和自我占據(jù)那個不可撼動的領(lǐng)域——這樣你才值得被喜歡。(如果你還能知道每個人都值得被喜歡，那么你的人生已經(jīng)基本贏了。改天我會在另一封信里再寫這部分。)

If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.

如果你相信自己的價值，那么你的魅力就能用最重要的這句話來形容：你會吸引有能力去愛你同時也想花一輩子時間好好愛你的男生。

Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn't need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting.

親愛的，我想告訴你，不用刻意在男生面前保持新鮮感，他會知道你的好和魅力所在。

I don't care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table -- as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can't stop looking.

我不介意他吃飯時會不會把手放桌子上——只要他會把注意力放在你身上，哪怕你大笑時鼻子都發(fā)出了怪聲，還是止不住的一直看著你。

I don't care if he can't play a bit of golf with me -- as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.

我不介意他不會陪我打高爾夫——只要他能和孩子們玩得開心，并且陶醉于孩子們和你是多么地相像。

I don't care if he doesn't follow his wallet -- as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.

我不介意他忘帶錢包——只要他全心愛你如初，一直不離不棄。

I don't care if he is strong -- as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.

我不介意他是不是強壯——只要他能夠給你足夠空間，讓你去不斷鍛煉內(nèi)心的力量。

I couldn't care less how he votes -- as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.

我一點也不關(guān)心他為誰投票——只要他每天早上醒來，都能把你“選”為家里的榮耀和他心中的女神。

I don't care about the color of his skin -- as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.

我不介意他的膚色——只要他能用耐心、犧牲、奉獻和溫柔的筆觸在你人生的畫布上盡情揮繪。

I don't care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion -- as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.

我不介意他是否有宗教信仰——只要他從小到大都信仰神圣，也知道生命的每個時刻，和你在一起的每分鐘，都是非常神圣的。

In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common:

最后，親愛的，如果你遇到了這樣的男人，哪怕我和他完全沒有共同點，我們都會有一個最重要的共通之處：

You.

那就是你。

Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to "keep him interested" is to be you.

最后，親愛的，想要讓他一直愛你如初的話，你唯一需要做的就是做你自己。

Your eternally interested guy,

永遠愛你的

Daddy

爸爸