八個問題溫暖父母的心靈

We spend so much of our lives with our parents and yet most of it is devoted to routine and commonplace things.

我們大多數時間都與父母生活在一起，但是這些時間常被瑣事虛度掉了。

Time is short and unfortunately we are all getting older. There may never be a better time than now to have a meaningful conversation with your parent or parents.

生命苦短，我們都在不斷老去?，F在正是時候與父母敞開心扉，來一場意味深長的談話。

You sometimes hear people say that they regret missed opportunities while their parents were alive and that there were things they wish they had spoken about. Make sure that you seize the chance while you can.

你不時聽到別人說，自己有多么后悔沒有在父母在世的時候與他們多說說話。現在你有這個機會，一定不能留下遺憾。

1. Can you tell me a story about your parents or grandparents?

跟我說說你們的父母或者祖父母的故事吧?

Family history is much more than a family tree and a photo album. It is also a collection of stories which become your family folklore. Be sure to have some stories about your ancestors that you can pass on to your descendants.

家族史不僅僅是一張族譜和一本家庭相冊那么簡單。它還包括家族中發(fā)生的各種奇聞異事。知道一點關于你家祖先的故事，以后也可以講給你的后人聽。

2. Can you tell me a story about when you were a child?

說說你們小時候的故事吧?

Stories about their adventures, hopes, fears and relationships with friends and parents can be fascinating and revealing. Why not record them on video?

父母們的那些冒險、希望、害怕，還有和朋友們在一起的小故事往往都很有趣，而且發(fā)人深省。為什么不把這些小故事用攝像機錄下來呢?

3. Can you tell me a story about me as a child?

說一個關于我小時候的故事吧?

Your parents will remember funny or embarrassing things about you as a little child. These will be handy when one day your child asks you question 2 above.

父母們對于你小時候的那些淘氣事、丟人的事都會記得很牢。問問父母這些故事，當你老的時候，你的孩子問你小時候的故事時，你就知道怎么回答了。

4. What is the one piece of advice you would like to share with me?

你們有什么人生道理要與我分享的嗎?

Your parents have a lifetime of experience and there are still things that you can learn from them. They may share something philosophical, funny or silly. Whatever it is it can pass into the family sayings and mythology.

父母們人生經驗豐富，你可以從他們身上學到很多東西。他們會跟你說一些充滿哲理的話，也會告訴你那些逗趣的事或者傻事，不管是什么，這些人生道理都將成為家訓和家庭傳奇。

5. What thing in your life made you the happiest or the proudest?

你一生中感到最高興或者最驕傲的事情是什么?

Let’s talk about the good things in their lives; their achievements, joys and moments of pride. You may yourself feature there.

讓父母們回想當年的崢嶸歲月，他們取得的成就，獲得的快樂，他們最自豪的時刻。說不定，你就在這些高興事和驕傲事之中。

6. What is your biggest regret? What would you have done differently?

你最大的遺憾是什么?如果可以重來，你會怎么做?

Perhaps this is a sad area that you would rather not explore but sometimes the answer can be revealing and explain things about your parents that you did not realise or understand.

也許這是你最不愿意去探究的父母的傷心事，不過答案有時卻可以啟發(fā)人心，而且會讓你認識到父母另外一面，你從未意識到或者不理解的一面。

7. What event had the biggest impact on you?

什么事情對你的影響最大?

Perhaps it was something to do with a war or a disaster. What was it that made a big impression? See if you can learn exactly how they felt and reacted at the time. It might put something you had only ever read about into the personal context of your parent。

或許，這些對父母影響深遠的事情與戰(zhàn)爭、災難有關。到底是什么事情產生了這么大的影響?看看你是否真的能體會到父母當時的感受，明白他們當時的所作所為。這些事可能你平常只在書上才會讀到。

8. What plans should we make for the future?

你們去世后，我該做些什么?

Many people feel uncomfortable talking about future plans that include what happens after their parents pass. But these are important issues and it is better to broach them. Where will they live if they can no longer manage where they are? Is there a will? What do they want to do with the heirlooms? What sort of funeral would they want?

很多人談到父母去世后的打算都諱莫如深。但這些事情都是大事，最好跟父母先溝通一下。去世后，想安葬在哪里?有沒有立下遺囑?家里的傳家寶要怎么處理?要舉辦什么樣的葬禮?

The next time your see your aging parents don’t just talk about minor domestic matters. Try raising some of the big questions above and then listen carefully to their answers. You may be surprised at what you learn.

下次再和年邁的父母聊天時，別盡說些雞毛蒜皮的瑣事，跟他們聊聊上面提到的這些話題，洗耳恭聽父母的回答，沒準，你還會吃驚不已呢!