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雙語·少年維特的煩惱 六月十六日

所屬教程:譯林版·少年維特的煩惱

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2023年01月11日

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JUNE 16.

“Why do I not write to you?” You lay claim to learning, and ask such a question. You should have guessed that I am well—that is to say—in a word, I have made an acquaintance who has won my heart: I have—I know not.

To give you a regular account of the manner in which I have become acquainted with the most amiable of women would be a difficult task. I am a happy and contented mortal, but a poor historian.

An angel! Nonsense! Everybody so describes his mistress; and yet I find it impossible to tell you how perfect she is, or why she is so perfect: suffice it to say she has captivated all my senses.

So much simplicity with so much understanding—so mild, and yet so resolute—a mind so placid, and a life so active.

But all this is ugly balderdash, which expresses not a single character nor feature. Some other time—but no, not some other time, now, this very instant, will I tell you all about it. Now or never. Well, between ourselves, since I commenced my letter, I have been three times on the point of throwing down my pen, of ordering my horse, and riding out. And yet I vowed this morning that I would not ride today, and yet every moment I am rushing to the window to see how high the sun is.

I could not restrain myself—go to her I must. I have just returned, Wilhelm; and whilst I am taking supper I will write to you. What a delight it was for my soul to see her in the midst of her dear, beautiful children,— eight brothers and sisters!

But, if I proceed thus, you will be no wiser at the end of my letter than you were at the beginning. Attend, then, and I will compel myself to give you the details.

I mentioned to you the other day that I had become acquainted with S—, the district judge, and that he had invited me to go and visit him in his retirement, or rather in his little kingdom. But I neglected going, and perhaps should never have gone, if chance had not discovered to me the treasure which lay concealed in that retired spot. Some of our young people had proposed giving a ball in the country, at which I consented to be present. I offered my hand for the evening to a pretty and agreeable, but rather commonplace, sort of girl from the immediate neighbourhood; and it was agreed that I should engage a carriage, and call upon Lotte, with my partner and her aunt, to convey them to the ball. My companion informed me, as we drove along through the park to the hunting-lodge, that I should make the acquaintance of a very charming young lady. “Take care,” added the aunt, “that you do not lose your heart.” “Why?” said I. “Because she is already engaged to a very worthy man,” she replied, “who is gone to settle his affairs upon the death of his father, and will succeed to a very considerable inheritance.” This information possessed no interest for me. When we arrived at the gate, the sun was setting behind the tops of the mountains. The atmosphere was heavy; and the ladies expressed their fears of an approaching storm, as masses of low black clouds were gathering in the horizon. I relieved their anxieties by pretending to be weather-wise, although I myself had some apprehensions lest our pleasure should be interrupted.

I alighted; and a maid came to the door, and requested us to wait a moment for her mistress. I walked across the court to a well-built house, and, ascending the flight of steps in front, opened the door, and saw before me the most charming spectacle I had ever witnessed. Six children, from eleven to two years old, were running about the hall, and surrounding a lady of middle height, with a lovely figure, dressed in a robe of simple white, trimmed with pink ribbons. She was holding a rye loaf in her hand, and was cutting slices for the little ones all around, in proportion to their age and appetite. She performed her task in a graceful and affectionate manner; each claimant awaiting his turn with outstretched hands, and boisterously shouting his thanks. Some of them ran away at once, to enjoy their evening meal; whilst others, of a gentler disposition, retired to the courtyard to see the strangers, and to survey the carriage in which their Lotte was to drive away. “Pray forgive me for giving you the trouble to come for me, and for keeping the ladies waiting: but dressing, and arranging some household duties before I leave, had made me forget my children’s supper; and they do not like to take it from any one but me.” I uttered some indifferent compliment: but my whole soul was absorbed by her air, her voice, her manner; and I had scarcely recovered myself when she ran into her room to fetch her gloves and fan. The young ones threw inquiring glances at me from a distance; whilst I approached the youngest, a most delicious little creature. He drew back; and Lotte, entering at the very moment, said, “Louis, shake hands with your cousin.” The little fellow obeyed willingly; and I could not resist giving him a hearty kiss, notwithstanding his rather dirty face. “Cousin,” said I to Lotte, as I handed her down, “do you think I deserve the happiness of being related to you?” She replied, with a ready smile, “Oh! I have such a number of cousins, that I should be sorry if you were the most undeserving of them.” In taking leave, she desired her next sister, Sophy, a girl about eleven years old, to take great care of the children, and to say good-bye to papa for her when he came home from his ride. She enjoined to the little ones to obey their sister Sophy as they would herself, upon which some promised that they would; but a little fair-haired girl, about six years old, looked discontented, and said, “But Sophy is not you, Lotte; and we like you best.” The two eldest boys had clambered up the carriage; and, at my request, she permitted them to accompany us a little way through the forest, upon their promising to sit very still, and hold fast.

We were hardly seated, and the ladies had scarcely exchanged compliments, making the usual remarks upon each other’s dress, and upon the company they expected to meet, when Lotte stopped the carriage, and made her brothers get down. They insisted upon kissing her hands once more; which the eldest did with all the tenderness of a youth of fifteen, but the other in a lighter and more careless manner. She desired them again to give her love to the children, and we drove off.

The aunt inquired of Lotte whether she had finished the book she had last sent her. “No,” said Lotte; “I did not like it: you can have it again. And the one before was not much better.” I was surprised, upon asking the title, to hear that it was—. (We feel obliged to suppress the passage in the letter, to prevent any one from feeling aggrieved; although no author need pay much attention to the opinion of a mere girl, or that of an unsteady young man.)

I found penetration and character in everything she said: every expression seemed to brighten her features with new charms,—with new rays of genius,—which unfolded by degrees, as she felt herself understood.

“When I was younger,” she observed, “I loved nothing so much as romances. Nothing could equal my delight when, on some holiday, I could settle down quietly in a corner, and enter with my whole heart and soul into the joys or sorrows of some fictitious Leonora. I do not deny that they even possess some charms for me yet. But I read so seldom, that I prefer books suited exactly to my taste. And I like those authors best whose scenes describe my own situation in life,—and the friends who are about me, whose stories touch me with interest, from resembling my own homely existence,—which, without being absolutely paradise, is, on the whole, a source of indescribable happiness.”

I endeavoured to conceal the emotion which these words occasioned, but it was of slight avail; for, when she had expressed so truly her opinion of The Vicar of Wakefield, and of other works, the names of which I omit (Though the names are omitted, yet the authors mentioned deserve Lotte’s approbation, and will feel it in their hearts when they read this passage. It concerns no other person.), I could no longer contain myself, but gave full utterance to what I thought of it: and it was not until Lotte had addressed herself to the two other ladies, that I remembered their presence, and observed them sitting mute with astonishment. The aunt looked at me several times with an air of raillery, which, however, I did not at all mind.

We talked of the pleasures of dancing. “If it is a fault to love it,” said Lotte, “I am ready to confess that I prize it above all other amusements. If anything disturbs me, I go to the piano, play an air to which I have danced, and all goes right again directly.”

You, who know me, can fancy how steadfastly I gazed upon her rich dark eyes during these remarks, how my very soul gloated over her warm lips and fresh, glowing cheeks, how I became quite lost in the delightful meaning of her words, so much so, that I scarcely heard the actual expressions. In short, I alighted from the carriage like a person in a dream, and was so lost to the dim world around me, that I scarcely heard the music which resounded from the illuminated ballroom.

The two Messrs. Andran and a certain N. N. (I cannot trouble myself with the names), who were the aunt’s and Lotte’s partners, received us at the carriage-door, and took possession of their ladies, whilst I followed with mine.

We commenced with a minuet. I led out one lady after another, and precisely those who were the most disagreeable could not bring themselves to leave off. Lotte and her partner began an English country dance, and you must imagine my delight when it was their turn to dance the figure with us. You should see Lotte dance. She dances with her whole heart and soul: her figure is all harmony, elegance, and grace, as if she were conscious of nothing else, and had no other thought or feeling; and, doubtless, for the moment, every other sensation is extinct.

She was engaged for the second country dance, but promised me the third, and assured me, with the most agreeable freedom, that she was very fond of waltzing. “It is the custom here,” she said, “for the previous partners to waltz together; but my partner is an indifferent waltzer, and will feel delighted if I save him the trouble. Your partner is not allowed to waltz, and, indeed, is equally incapable: but I observed during the country dance that you waltz well; so, if you will waltz with me, I beg you would propose it to my partner, and I will propose it to yours.” We agreed, and it was arranged that our partners should mutually entertain each other.

We set off, and, at first, delighted ourselves with the usual graceful motions of the arms. With what grace, with what ease, she moved! When the waltz commenced, and the dancers whirled around each other in the giddy maze, there was some confusion, owing to the incapacity of some of the dancers. We judiciously remained still, allowing the others to weary themselves; and, when the awkward dancers had withdrawn, we joined in, and kept it up famously together with one other couple,—Andran and his partner. Never did I dance more lightly. I felt myself more than mortal, holding this loveliest of creatures in my arms, flying, with her as rapidly as the wind, till I lost sight of every other object; and O Wilhelm, I vowed at that moment, that a maiden whom I loved, or for whom I felt the slightest attachment, never, never should waltz with any one else but with me, if I went to perdition for it!—you will understand this.

We took a few turns in the room to recover our breath. Lotte sat down, and felt refreshed by partaking of some oranges which I had had secured,—the only ones that had been left; but at every slice which, from politeness, she offered to her neighbours, I felt as though a dagger went through my heart.

We were the second couple in the third country dance. As we were going down (and Heaven knows with what ecstasy I gazed at her arms and eyes, beaming with the sweetest feeling of pure and genuine enjoyment), we passed a lady whom I had noticed for her charming expression of countenance; although she was no longer young. She looked at Lotte with a smile, then, holding up her finger in a threatening attitude, repeated twice in a very significant tone of voice the name of “Albert.”

“Who is Albert,” said I to Lotte, “if it is not impertinent to ask?” She was about to answer, when we were obliged to separate, in order to execute a figure in the dance; and, as we crossed over again in front of each other, I perceived she looked somewhat pensive. “Why need I conceal it from you?” she said, as she gave me her hand for the promenade. “Albert is a worthy man, to whom I am engaged.” Now, there was nothing new to me in this (for the girls had told me of it on the way); but it was so far new that I had not thought of it in connection with her whom, in so short a time, I had learned to prize so highly. Enough, I became confused, got out in the figure, and occasioned general confusion; so that it required all Lotte’s presence of mind to set me right by pulling and pushing me into my proper place.

The dance was not yet finished when the lightning which had for some time been seen in the horizon, and which I had asserted to proceed entirely from heat, grew more violent; and the thunder was heard above the music. When any distress or terror surprises us in the midst of our amusements, it naturally makes a deeper impression than at other times, either because the contrast makes us more keenly susceptible, or rather perhaps because our senses are then more open to impressions, and the shock is consequently stronger. To this cause I must ascribe the fright and shrieks of the ladies. One sagaciously sat down in a corner with her back to the window, and held her fingers to her ears; a second knelt down before her, and hid her face in her lap; a third threw herself between them, and embraced her sister with a thousand tears; some insisted on going home; others, unconscious of their actions, wanted sufficient presence of mind to repress the impertinence of their young partners, who sought to direct to themselves those sighs which the lips of our agitated beauties intended for heaven. Some of the gentlemen had gone down-stairs to smoke a quiet cigar, and the rest of the company gladly embraced a happy suggestion of the hostess to retire into another room which was provided with shutters and curtains. We had hardly got there, when Lotte placed the chairs in a circle; and, when the company had sat down in compliance with her request, she forthwith proposed a round game.

I noticed some of the company prepare their mouths and draw themselves up at the prospect of some agreeable forfeit. “Let us play at counting,” said Lotte. “Now, pay attention: I shall go round the circle from right to left; and each person is to count, one after the other, the number that comes to him, and must count fast; whoever stops or mistakes is to have a box on the ear, and so on, till we have counted a thousand.” It was delightful to see the fun. She went round the circle with upraised arm. “One,” said the first; “two,” the second; “three,” the third; and so on, till Lotte went faster and faster. One made a mistake, instantly a box on the ear; and, amid the laughter that ensued, came another box; and so on, faster and faster. I myself came in for two. I fancied they were harder than the rest, and felt quite delighted. A general laughter and confusion put an end to the game long before we had counted as far as a thousand. The party broke up into little separate knots: the storm had ceased, and I followed Lotte into the ballroom. On the way she said, “The game banished their fears of the storm.” I could make no reply. “I myself,” she continued, “was as much frightened as any of them; but by affecting courage, to keep up the spirits of the others, I forgot my apprehensions.” We went to the window. It was still thundering at a distance: a soft rain was pouring down over the country, and filled the air around us with delicious odours. Lotte leaned forward on her arm; her eyes wandered over the scene; she raised them to the sky, and then turned them upon me; they were moistened with tears; she placed her hand on mine and said, “Klopstock!” at once I remembered the magnificent ode which was in her thoughts: I felt oppressed with the weight of my sensations, and sank under them. It was more than I could bear. I bent over her hand, kissed it in a stream of delicious tears, and again looked up to her eyes. Divine Klopstock! why didst thou not see thy apotheosis in those eyes? And thy name so often profaned, would that I never heard it repeated!

六月十六日

我干嗎久不給你寫信?——你提這個(gè)問題,想必也變成一位老學(xué)究了吧!你應(yīng)該猜想到,我過得很好,好得簡(jiǎn)直……干脆告訴你吧,我認(rèn)識(shí)了一個(gè)人,她使我無心他顧了。我已經(jīng)……叫我怎么說好呢。

要把認(rèn)識(shí)這個(gè)最可愛的人兒的經(jīng)過有條不紊地告訴你,在我將是困難的。我快樂而又幸福,因此不能成為一位好小說家。

一位天使!——得!誰都這么稱呼自己的心上人,不是嗎?可我無法告訴你她有多么完美,為什么完美;一句話,她完全俘虜了我的心。

那么聰敏,卻那么單純;那么堅(jiān)毅,卻那么善良;那么勤謹(jǐn),卻那么嫻靜……

我講的全是些廢話,空空洞洞,俗不可耐,絲毫沒反映出她的本來面目。等下次……不,不等下次。我現(xiàn)在立刻對(duì)你講她。我現(xiàn)在要不講,就永遠(yuǎn)別想講了。要知道,我坦白告訴你,在開始寫這封信以后,我已經(jīng)三次差點(diǎn)兒扔下筆,讓人給馬裝上鞍子,騎著跑出去了。不過我今天早上已起過誓不出去,只是仍時(shí)不時(shí)地跑到窗前,看太陽還有多高,是不是……

我到底沒能克制住自己,我非去她那兒不可啊。這會(huì)兒我又坐下來,一邊吃黃油面包當(dāng)夜宵,一邊給你,威廉,繼續(xù)寫信。當(dāng)我看見她在那一群活潑的孩子中間,在她的八個(gè)弟妹中間,我的心是何等欣喜啊!

倘使我繼續(xù)這么往下寫,到頭來你仍然會(huì)摸不著頭腦的。聽著,我要強(qiáng)迫自己詳詳細(xì)細(xì)地把一切告訴你。

不久前我說過,我認(rèn)識(shí)了總管S先生,他曾邀請(qǐng)我盡快去他的隱居所,或者說他的小王國做客。我呢,卻把這件事拖了下來;要不是一個(gè)偶然的機(jī)會(huì),讓我發(fā)現(xiàn)了那密藏在幽谷中的珍寶,我沒準(zhǔn)兒永遠(yuǎn)也不會(huì)去。

此間的年輕人在鄉(xiāng)下舉辦一次舞會(huì),我也欣然前往參加。事前,我答應(yīng)了本地一位心地善良、長(zhǎng)相尚好、除此便不怎么樣的姑娘的邀請(qǐng),并已商定由我雇一輛馬車,帶著我這舞伴和她表姐一起出城去聚會(huì)地點(diǎn),順道兒還接一接S家的夏綠蒂。

“您將認(rèn)識(shí)一位漂亮小姐哪。”當(dāng)我們的馬車穿過砍伐過的森林向獵莊駛?cè)サ臅r(shí)候,我的舞伴開了口。

“不過您得當(dāng)心,”她的表姐卻說,“可別迷上了她呀!”

“為什么?”我問。

“她已經(jīng)許了人,”我的舞伴回答,“一個(gè)挺不錯(cuò)的小伙子,眼下不在家,他的父親去世了,他去料理后事,順便謀個(gè)體面的職務(wù)?!?/p>

這個(gè)消息在我聽來是無所謂的。

我們到達(dá)獵莊大門前的時(shí)候,太陽還有一刻鐘光景便要下山了。其時(shí)天氣悶熱,姑娘們都表示擔(dān)心,說那四周天邊的灰白色云朵要是釀出一場(chǎng)暴雨來,那可就煞風(fēng)景了。我擺出一副精通氣象學(xué)的架勢(shì)來安慰她們,其實(shí)自己心中也開始預(yù)想到,我們的舞會(huì)將要掃興的。

我下了馬車,一名女仆趕到大門口來請(qǐng)我們稍等一會(huì)兒,說小姐她馬上就來。我穿過院子,走向那建筑得很講究的住屋。就在我上了臺(tái)階、跨進(jìn)門去的當(dāng)兒,一幕我見所未見的最動(dòng)人的情景,映入了我的眼簾。在前廳里有六個(gè)孩子,從十一歲到兩歲,大的大,小的小,全都圍著一個(gè)模樣娟秀、身材適中、穿著雅致的白裙、袖口和胸前系著粉紅色蝴蝶結(jié)兒的年輕女子。她手里拿著一個(gè)黑面包,按周圍弟妹的不同年齡與胃口,依次切給他們大小不等的一塊;她在把面包遞給每一個(gè)孩子時(shí)都那么慈愛,小家伙們也自自然然地說一聲:謝謝!不等面包切下來,全都高擎著小手在那兒等。而眼下,又一起津津有味地吃起來,一邊按照各自不同的性格,有的飛跑到大門邊,有的慢吞吞地踱過去,好看一看客人們,看一看他們的綠蒂姐姐將要乘著出門去的那輛馬車。

“請(qǐng)?jiān)?,”她說,“勞您駕跑進(jìn)來,并讓姑娘們久等。我剛才換衣服和料理不在家時(shí)要做的一些事情,結(jié)果忘了給孩子們吃晚餐。他們可是除我以外誰切的面包也不肯吃啊?!?/p>

我略微客套了兩句;我的整個(gè)心靈都讓她的形象、她的聲音、她的舉止給占據(jù)了。直到她跑進(jìn)里屋去取手套和扇子,我才從驚喜中回過神兒來。小家伙們都遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)地站在一旁瞅著我;我這時(shí)便朝年齡最小,模樣兒也最俊的一個(gè)走過去,可他卻想退開。

“路易斯,跟這位哥哥握手?!边@當(dāng)兒綠蒂正好走進(jìn)門來,說道。

小男孩于是大大方方把手伸給我,我忍不住熱烈吻了他,雖然他那小鼻頭兒上掛著鼻涕。

“哥哥?”我問,同時(shí)把手伸給她,“您真認(rèn)為,我有配作您親眷這個(gè)福分么?”

“噢,”她嫣然一笑,說,“我們的表兄弟多著哩。要是您是其中頂討厭的一個(gè),那我就遺憾啦?!?/p>

臨走,她又囑咐她的大妹妹索菲——一個(gè)約莫十一歲的小姑娘,好好照看弟妹,并在爸爸騎馬出去散心回來時(shí)向他問安。她還叮嚀小家伙們要聽索菲姐姐的話,把索菲當(dāng)作就是她一般。幾個(gè)孩子滿口答應(yīng);可有個(gè)滿頭金發(fā)、六歲光景的小機(jī)靈鬼卻嚷起來:“她不是你,綠蒂姐姐,我們更喜歡你嘛?!?/p>

這其間,最大的兩個(gè)男孩已經(jīng)爬到馬車上;經(jīng)我代為求情,她才答應(yīng)他倆一塊兒乘坐到林子邊,條件是保證不打不鬧,手一定扶牢。

我們剛一坐穩(wěn),姑娘們便寒暄開了,并品評(píng)起彼此的穿著,特別是帽子來,還對(duì)即將舉行的舞會(huì),作了一番挑剔。正講在興頭上,綠蒂已招呼停車,讓她的兩個(gè)弟弟下去。小哥兒倆卻要求再親親她的手。大的可能有十五歲,在吻姐姐的手時(shí)彬彬有禮;小的則毛毛躁躁,漫不經(jīng)心。綠蒂讓他倆再次問候小弟妹們,隨后車又開了。

表姐問,綠蒂有沒有把新近寄給她的那本書讀完。

“沒有,”綠蒂說,“這本書我不喜歡,您可以拿回去了。上次那本也不見得好看多少?!?/p>

我問是怎樣的書,她回答了我,令我大吃一驚……我從她的所有談吐中都發(fā)現(xiàn)她是那樣有個(gè)性;每聽她講一句,我都從她的臉龐上發(fā)現(xiàn)了新的魅力,新的精神光輝。漸漸地,這張臉龐似乎更加愉快和舒展了,因?yàn)樗杏X到,我是理解她的。

“當(dāng)我年紀(jì)還小的時(shí)候,”她說,“我什么也不愛讀,就愛讀小說。禮拜天總躲在一個(gè)角落里,整個(gè)心分擔(dān)著燕妮姑娘的喜怒哀樂。上帝知道我當(dāng)時(shí)有多幸福呵。我不否認(rèn),這類書對(duì)我仍有某些吸引力??墒?,既然眼下我很少有工夫再讀書,那我讀的書就必須十分對(duì)我的口味。我最喜歡的作家必須讓我能找到我的世界,他書里寫的仿佛就是我本人,使我感到那么有趣,那么親切,恰似在我自己家里的生活,它雖然還不像天堂那么美好,整個(gè)看來卻已是一種不可言喻的幸福的源泉。”

聽了這番議論,我好不容易才隱藏住自己的激動(dòng)。這局面自然沒有維持多久,因?yàn)橐宦犓槺闾岬搅恕锻朔颇翈焸鳌芬约啊拐劦媚菢佑姓嬷埔姡冶阃跛?,把自己知道的和盤托出,講啊講啊,直到綠蒂轉(zhuǎn)過頭去和另外兩位姑娘搭訕,我才發(fā)現(xiàn)她倆瞪大了眼睛,在那兒坐冷板凳。表姐還不止一次地對(duì)我做出嗤之以鼻的樣子,我也全不介意。

話題轉(zhuǎn)到了跳舞的樂趣上。

“就算這種愛好是個(gè)缺點(diǎn)吧,”綠蒂說,“我也樂于向你們承認(rèn),我不知道有什么比跳舞更好的了。有時(shí)候我心頭不痛快,可只要在我那架破鋼琴上彈支英國鄉(xiāng)村舞曲,便一切都忘了?!?/p>

談話間,我盡情地欣賞她那黑色的明眸:我整個(gè)的魂魄,都讓她那活潑伶俐的小嘴與鮮艷爽朗的臉龐給攝走了!她雋永的談吐完全迷醉了我,對(duì)于她用些什么詞我也就顧不上聽了!——你該想象得出當(dāng)時(shí)的情形,因?yàn)槟懔私馕摇:?jiǎn)單講,當(dāng)馬車平穩(wěn)地停住在聚會(huì)的別墅前,我走下車來已經(jīng)像個(gè)夢(mèng)游者似的,神魂顛倒,周圍朦朧中的世界對(duì)我已不復(fù)存在,就連從上面燈火輝煌的大廳中迎面飄來的陣陣樂聲,我也充耳不聞。

兩位先生,奧德蘭和某某,——誰記得清這許多名字??!——一位是表姐的舞伴,一位是綠蒂的舞伴,趕到車邊來迎接我們,各人挽住了自己的女友。我也領(lǐng)著我的舞伴,朝上面大廳走去。

大伙兒成雙成對(duì)地旋轉(zhuǎn)著,跳起了法國牟涅舞;我依次和姑娘們跳,最討厭的偏偏最不肯放你走。后來,綠蒂和她的舞友跳起了英國鄉(xiāng)村舞;在輪到她來和我們交叉的一剎那,你想想我心里是如何美滋滋的喲??此枵娼写箫栄鄹?!你瞧,她跳得那么專心,那么忘我,整個(gè)身體和諧之極。她無憂無慮地跳著,無拘無束地跳著,仿佛跳舞就是一切,除此便無所思,無所感似的;此刻,其他任何事物都在她眼前消失了。

我請(qǐng)她跳第二輪英國鄉(xiāng)村舞;她答應(yīng)第三輪陪我跳,同時(shí)以世間最可愛的坦率態(tài)度對(duì)我說,她最愛跳德國華爾茲舞了。

“本地時(shí)興跳華爾茲舞時(shí)原配伴當(dāng)繼續(xù)一起跳,”她說,“只是我的Chapeau華爾茲跳得太糟,巴不得我免除他這個(gè)義務(wù)。您的小姐跳得也不好,又不喜歡跳;我從剛才跳英國舞看出,您的華爾茲準(zhǔn)不錯(cuò)。要是您樂意陪我跳的話,那您就去請(qǐng)我的對(duì)手同意,我也找您的小姐說說?!?/p>

我一聽便握住她的手。這樣,我們便談妥了,在跳華爾茲舞時(shí),由她的男舞伴陪著我的女舞友閑談。

喏,開始!我倆用各種方式挽著手臂,以此開心了好一會(huì)兒。瞧她跳得有多嫵媚,多輕盈??!華爾茲舞開始了,一雙雙舞伴轉(zhuǎn)起圈來跟流星一般快,其實(shí)真正會(huì)的人很少,一開頭場(chǎng)上便有點(diǎn)亂糟糟的。我們很機(jī)靈,先讓那班笨蛋們蹦夠了,退了場(chǎng),才跳到中間去,和另外一對(duì)兒也就是奧德蘭他們?cè)谝黄?,大顯起身手來。我從沒跳得如此輕快過,簡(jiǎn)直飄飄欲仙。手臂摟著個(gè)無比可愛的人兒,帶著她輕風(fēng)似的飛旋,周圍的一切都沒有了,消失了……威廉喲,憑良心說,我敢起誓,我寧可粉身碎骨,也絕不肯讓這個(gè)我愛的姑娘,我渴望占有的姑娘,在和我跳過以后還去和任何人跳呵。你理解我么!

我們?cè)诖髲d中漫步了幾圈,為了喘口氣。隨后她坐下來,很高興地吃著我特意擺在一邊、如今已是所剩不多的幾個(gè)橘子。這橘子可算幫了大忙。只是當(dāng)她每遞一片給她鄰座的姑娘,這姑娘也老大不客氣地接過去吃起來時(shí),我的心都像被刀刺了一下似的疼痛。

在跳第三輪英國鄉(xiāng)村舞時(shí),我們是第二對(duì)。我倆跳著從隊(duì)列中間穿過,上帝知道我是多么快活。我勾著她的胳膊,眼睛盯住她那洋溢著無比坦誠、無比純潔的歡愉的盈盈秋波;不知不覺間,我們跳到了一位夫人面前。她年紀(jì)雖已不輕,然而風(fēng)韻猶存,因而引起過我的注意。只見她笑吟吟地瞅著綠蒂,舉起一個(gè)手指頭來像要發(fā)出警告似的,并在我們擦過她身旁時(shí)意味深長(zhǎng)地念了兩次阿爾伯特這個(gè)名字。

“誰是阿爾伯特?”我對(duì)綠蒂說,“我想冒昧問一下?!?/p>

她正待回答,我們卻不得不分開,以便作8字交叉??墒牵谖液退辽矶^的瞬間,我恍惚看見她額頭上泛起了疑云。

“我有什么不能告訴您呢?”她一邊伸過手來讓我牽著徐徐往前走,一邊說,“阿爾伯特是個(gè)好人,我與他可以說已經(jīng)訂婚了?!?/p>

本來這對(duì)我并非新聞,姑娘們?cè)诼飞弦迅嬖V過我了;可是經(jīng)過剛才的一會(huì)兒工夫,她對(duì)我變得已如此珍貴,此刻再聯(lián)系著她來想這事,我就感到非同小可了??偠灾?,我心煩意亂,忘乎所以,竟竄進(jìn)了別的對(duì)兒中,把整個(gè)隊(duì)列攪得七零八落,害得綠蒂費(fèi)盡心力,又拉又拽,才迅速恢復(fù)了秩序。

舞會(huì)還沒完,天邊已經(jīng)電光閃閃,隆隆的雷聲蓋過了音樂聲。閃電是我們?cè)缈匆娏说?,可我一直解釋說,只不過天要轉(zhuǎn)涼罷了。這當(dāng)兒三個(gè)姑娘逃出了隊(duì)列,她們的舞伴尾隨其后,秩序便頓時(shí)大亂,伴奏也只好停止了。不消說,人在縱情歡樂之際突遭不測(cè)與驚嚇,那印象是比平時(shí)來得更加強(qiáng)烈的;因?yàn)椋环矫?,兩相?duì)照,使人感覺更加鮮明,另一方面和更主要的,我們的感官本已處于亢奮狀態(tài),接受起印象來也更快。這就難怪好些姑娘一下子都嚇得臉變了色。她們中最聰明的一個(gè)坐到屋角里,背沖窗戶,手捂耳朵。另一個(gè)跪在她跟前,腦袋埋在她懷中。第三個(gè)擠進(jìn)她倆中間,摟著自己的女友,淚流滿面。有幾個(gè)要求回家;另一些則更加不知所措,連駕馭我們那些年輕趨奉者的心力都沒有了,只知道戰(zhàn)戰(zhàn)兢兢地祈禱上帝,結(jié)果小伙子們便放肆起來,全忙著用嘴去美麗的受難者唇邊代替上帝接受禱告。有幾位先生偷閑到下邊抽煙去了;其余的男女卻都贊成聰明的女主人的提議,進(jìn)到了一間有百葉窗和窗幔的屋子里。剛一進(jìn)門,綠蒂便忙著把椅子排成一個(gè)圓圈。大伙兒應(yīng)她的請(qǐng)求坐定了,她便開始講解做一種游戲的要領(lǐng)。

我瞅見有幾個(gè)小伙子已經(jīng)尖起嘴唇,手舞足蹈,盼望著去領(lǐng)勝利者的厚賞了。

“喏,咱們玩數(shù)數(shù)游戲,”綠蒂說,“注意!我在圈子里從右向左走,同時(shí)你們就挨個(gè)兒報(bào)數(shù),每人要念出輪到他的那個(gè)數(shù)目字,而且要念得飛快,誰如果結(jié)巴或念錯(cuò)了,就吃一記耳光,這么一直念到一千?!?/p>

這一來才叫好看嘍!只見綠蒂伸出胳膊,在圈子里走動(dòng)起來。頭一個(gè)人開始數(shù)一,旁邊一個(gè)數(shù)二,再下一個(gè)數(shù)三,依次類推。隨后綠蒂越走越快,越走越快。這當(dāng)兒有誰數(shù)錯(cuò)了,“啪”!——一記耳光;旁邊的人忍俊不禁,“啪”!——又是一記耳光。速度更加快了。我本人也挨了兩下子;使我打心眼兒里滿意的是,我相信我挨的這兩下子比她給其他人的還要重些??刹坏葦?shù)完一千,大伙兒已笑成一堆,再也玩不下去了。這時(shí)暴風(fēng)雨業(yè)已過去,好朋友們便三三兩兩走到一邊,我便跟著綠蒂回到大廳。半道兒上她對(duì)我說:

“他們吃了耳光,倒把打雷下雨什么的一股腦兒忘記啦!”

我無言以對(duì)。

“我也是膽兒最小的一個(gè),”她接著說,“可我鼓起勇氣來給別人壯膽,自己也就有膽量了?!?/p>

我們踱到一扇窗前。遠(yuǎn)方傳來滾滾雷聲,春雨刷刷地抽打在泥地上,空氣中有一股撲鼻的芳香升騰起來,沁人心脾。她胳膊肘支在窗臺(tái)上佇立著,目光凝視遠(yuǎn)方,一會(huì)兒仰望蒼空,一會(huì)兒又瞅瞅我;我見她眼里噙著淚花,把手放在了我的手上。

“克羅卜斯托克呵!”她嘆道。

我頓時(shí)想到了此刻縈繞在她腦際的那首壯麗頌歌,感情也因之澎湃洶涌起來。她僅僅用一個(gè)詞兒,便打開了我感情的閘門。我忍不住把頭俯在她手上,喜淚縱橫地吻著。隨后我又仰望她的眼睛?!哔F的詩人呵!你要是能看到你在這目光中變得有多神圣,就太好了;從今以后,我再不愿從那班常常褻瀆你的人口里,聽見你的名字。

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