My name is Mrs Florence Bravo. I am 31 years old. I live at The Priory, in Balham. At the time of his death, my husband, Charles Bravo, lived there too. My friend and companion, Jane Cox, was also living in the house ...
When Jane Cox told me what Charles had said, I was very worried. Jane was very important to me. I didn't want to lose her.
On Tuesday, April 18th, I felt a little better, so I got up. It was my first day out of bed. Jane went to Worthing to look at a holiday house for us, and I went to London with Charles. In the carriage he said: 'I'm pleased Jane's gone to Worthing, Florence. We haven't been alone together for two weeks. I'll be happy when that woman is gone.'
Please don't say that, Charles,' I said. 'Jane is my best friend.'
She was your best friend, darling,' said Charles, smiling. 'Before you met me. Now I'm your best friend, aren't I?'
Well yes,' I answered. 'But you're my husband, Charles. I need Jane, to talk about women's things. That's what I pay her for.'
Well, she's too expensive,' Charles said. 'I spoke to her yesterday. I told her to leave at the end of the month.'
But Charles, you can't do that!' I said. 'She needs the money to look after her children. Anyway, she works for me, not you. So she's staying, Charles. All right?'
No!' he shouted. He held my arm hard, really hard, and it hurt. He was strong – much stronger than me – and his face was close to mine. 'You're my wife, Florence – you do what I say! Do you understand?'
I was frightened. 'Let go of my arm, Charles! People in the street are watching – what will they think?'
I don't care,' he said. 'It's none of their business. What are you going to do – call Dr Gully?' We were driving past Dr Gully's house at the time.
Don't be stupid, Charles,' I said. 'You know I don't talk to Dr Gully any more. I told you – you're my husband, I love you, not him!'
Do you?' he said. He still held my arm. 'Well, kiss me then. And forget about Jane and Dr Gully.'
I was afraid, so I kissed him. Then we drove on in silence. It was a bad start to the day, but before we got to London Charles was happy again. He talked to me kindly and told funny stories. He was often like that – angry for a short time, then friendly a few minutes later. He was a difficult man, but I tried to understand him. That's what a wife has to do, isn't it? Understand her husband and love him. But I was very worried about losing Jane.
In London Charles visited his cousin, Dr Royes Bell. I went shopping. After lunch I went home and had a rest; it was my first day out of bed. Charles came home later. He was happy and excited. 'I'm going out for a ride,' he said. He went outside and called the groom.
Get that big horse, Cremorne, ready for me, man. Quickly, now.'
Is that a good idea, sir?' the groom asked. 'Cremorne's been a little difficult this week.'
Charles thought he knew a lot about horses but he didn't, really. He shouted angrily at the groom. 'Don't argue with me, man! Get him ready! I know how to ride my own horse, damn you!'
But an hour later he came home, shaking. His face was white and his shirt was wet with sweat. 'That horse Cremorne is dangerous!' he said. 'We'll have to sell it.'
Why, Charles,' I asked, 'what happened?'
The horse ran away with me. For six miles he wouldn't stop.'
The horse ran away with me. For six miles he wouldn't stop.'
How awful! Are you hurt? Did you fall off?'
No, thank God, I didn't. But my arms and chest hurt. He's very strong, that horse – like a wild animal!'
Go upstairs and rest before dinner. I'm sorry you were frightened, Charles.'
He walked slowly upstairs with his hand on his chest. At the top, he looked down angrily.
I wasn't frightened, Florence, don't be silly. Anyway, it's the groom's fault, not mine. He gave the horse too much food, that's all.'
Charles still looked ill at dinner that evening. Jane talked to him about the holiday house in Worthing but he didn't answer. He ate a lot of food and drank three glasses of wine. After dinner I was tired, so I went up to my bedroom. Jane came up a few minutes later.
My maidservant, Mary Ann, brought me a glass of wine to help me sleep. But Charles came into my bedroom and saw it. He didn't like me drinking wine in the evening. He often tried to stop me.
You drink too much, Florence,' he said. 'I've told you before. You'll make yourself ill.'
It's true. I did sometimes feel ill after drinking wine. I was sick once or twice, I don't know why. But wine usually made me feel warm, and sleepy. I liked that.
I'm tired, Charles,' I said. 'Leave me alone.'
Charles went out. I lay down in bed, and Jane sat beside me, reading aloud from a book. It was peaceful in my bedroom and I was very sleepy. My maid came back in.
Do you want anything else, madam?' she asked.
No, thank you, Mary Ann,' I said. 'Just take the dogs downstairs, will you, please?'
Mary Ann went out with my two dogs and closed the doors behind her. There are two doors to my bedroom – an outside door and an inside door – and she closed them both. I like that; it makes the room very quiet. I lay there for a minute or two, listening to Jane's voice reading to me, and then ...
... I fell asleep.
I don't know what happened next. Mary Ann says that Charles called for help. But I didn't hear him. I was asleep.
sweat n. water that comes from your skin when you are hot or afraid 汗水
maidservant n. a female servant in a house 女仆
第三部分
我是弗洛倫絲·布拉沃夫人,今年31歲。我住在巴勒姆的普里奧里。我丈夫查爾斯·布拉沃去世時(shí)也住在那兒。我的朋友兼陪護(hù)簡·考克斯當(dāng)時(shí)也和我們住在一起……
當(dāng)簡·考克斯告訴我查爾斯的話后,我非常著急。簡對我來說太重要了,我不想失去她。
4月18日,星期二,我感覺略有好轉(zhuǎn),于是就下了床。那是我病后第一次下床。簡去了沃辛,為我們找一幢度假用房,我和查爾斯則去了倫敦。在馬車上,他說:“我很高興簡去了沃辛,弗洛倫絲。我們已經(jīng)有兩周時(shí)間沒有單獨(dú)在一起了。那個(gè)女人走了以后,我會非常高興?!?/p>
“求你別那么說,查爾斯,”我說,“簡是我最好的朋友。”
“她曾經(jīng)是你最好的朋友,親愛的,”查爾斯笑著說,“在你遇到我之前。但現(xiàn)在我才是你最好的朋友,不是嗎?”
“嗯,是?!蔽一卮鹫f,“但你是我的丈夫,查爾斯。我需要簡,跟她說說女人的事。這正是我雇她的原因?!?/p>
“不過,她的工資太高了。”查爾斯說,“我昨天跟她說了,叫她月底離開。”
“但是查爾斯,你不能那么做!”我說,“她需要錢養(yǎng)她的幾個(gè)孩子。不管怎么說,她是為我服務(wù),而不是為你服務(wù)。所以讓她留下來,查爾斯,好嗎?”
“不行!”他咆哮道。他用力抓著我的胳膊,真的非常用力,把我都弄疼了。他很壯實(shí)——比我壯多了——他的臉離我的臉很近?!澳闶俏移拮?,弗洛倫絲——你得照我說的辦!你明白嗎?”
我被嚇壞了。“放開我,查爾斯!大街上的人都看著呢——他們會怎么想?”
“我不在乎,”他說,“這根本就不關(guān)他們什么事。你想干什么——叫格利醫(yī)生?”我們當(dāng)時(shí)正好坐馬車經(jīng)過格利醫(yī)生家。
“別傻了,查爾斯,”我說,“你知道我再沒和格利醫(yī)生說過話。我跟你說過——你是我丈夫,我愛的人是你,不是他!”
“是嗎?”他說。他依然抓著我的胳膊?!昂?,那就親我一下。忘掉簡和格利醫(yī)生?!?/p>
我怕了,所以就吻了他。接著我們的馬車?yán)^續(xù)前行,我們倆都沒有說話。那天有這樣一個(gè)開始可真是糟糕,但我們快到倫敦時(shí),查爾斯又高興起來。他和顏悅色地跟我說話,還講了一些有趣的故事。他經(jīng)常這樣——生一會兒氣,幾分鐘后態(tài)度又友好起來。他是個(gè)難以相處的人,但我盡力去理解他。這是一個(gè)妻子應(yīng)該做的,不是嗎?要理解丈夫并愛他。但我對要失去簡這件事還是很擔(dān)憂。
在倫敦,查爾斯拜訪了他的堂兄,羅伊斯·貝爾醫(yī)生。我則去逛街了。午飯后,我就回家休息了。那天是我病后下床活動的第一天。查爾斯后來也回家了。他又開心又興奮?!拔乙鋈ヲT一會兒馬?!彼f。他出了門,叫上了馬夫。
“伙計(jì),去把那匹大馬,就是克雷莫恩,給我備好???,現(xiàn)在就去?!?/p>
“這行嗎,先生?”馬夫問道,“克雷莫恩這個(gè)星期有點(diǎn)兒難駕馭?!?/p>
查爾斯以為自己很懂馬,其實(shí)不然。他生氣地朝馬夫喊道:“別跟我頂嘴,伙計(jì)!去給我備馬!我知道自己的馬該怎么騎,你這該死的!”
但是一個(gè)小時(shí)之后,查爾斯渾身顫抖著回家了。他臉色發(fā)白,襯衫被汗水浸濕了?!澳瞧ソ锌死啄鞯鸟R性子真烈!”,他說,“我們得把它賣了?!?/p>
“為什么,查爾斯,”我問道,“發(fā)生什么事了?”
“那匹馬載著我狂奔起來,一口氣跑了六英里都不停?!?/p>
“太可怕了!你受傷了嗎?你有沒有墜馬?”
“沒有,謝天謝地,我沒有墜馬。但我的胳膊和胸口疼。那匹馬非常強(qiáng)壯,它——就像一只野獸!”
“上樓去吧,休息一下再吃飯。見你受到了驚嚇,我很難過,查爾斯?!?/p>
他一只手捂著胸口慢慢地上樓了。走到頂時(shí),他惱火地回頭向下看。
“我沒有受到驚嚇,弗洛倫絲,別犯傻了。不管怎么說,都是那個(gè)馬夫的錯(cuò),不怪我。他讓那匹馬吃太多了,僅此而已?!?/p>
那天晚上吃晚飯時(shí),查爾斯看上去臉色依然不是很好。簡跟他說了沃辛的度假用房,但他沒說什么。他吃了不少飯,還喝了三杯酒。晚飯后我累了,就上樓回到自己的臥室。幾分鐘后,簡也上樓來了。
我的女仆瑪麗·安給我端來一杯酒,助我入眠。但是,查爾斯走進(jìn)我的臥室時(shí)看見了那杯酒。他不喜歡我晚上喝酒。他經(jīng)常想阻止我。
“你喝得太多了,弗洛倫絲?!彼f,“我以前告訴過你,這樣下去你會生病的?!?/p>
他說得對。有時(shí)喝完酒后,我的確覺得不舒服。我吐過一兩回,不知道是為什么。但酒通常讓我感到溫暖、昏昏欲睡。我喜歡那種感覺。
“我累了,查爾斯,”我說,“讓我一個(gè)人呆會兒吧。”
查爾斯走了出去。我躺在床上,簡坐在我旁邊,大聲朗讀一本書給我聽。我的臥室一片寧靜,我困得不行。這時(shí)我的女仆又走了進(jìn)來。
“您還有什么需要嗎,夫人?”她問道。
“沒有了,謝謝,瑪麗·安?!蔽艺f,“請把狗帶到樓下去,好嗎?”
瑪麗·安帶著我的兩條狗走出了房間,并隨手關(guān)上了房門。我的臥室有兩道門——一道外門,一道內(nèi)門——她把兩扇門都關(guān)了。我喜歡這樣,這會讓我的房間非常安靜。我在床上躺了一兩分鐘,聽著簡給我讀書,接著……
……我就睡著了。
我不知道接下來發(fā)生了什么事。瑪麗·安說查爾斯呼救了,但我沒有聽到,我睡著了。
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