Gay-Neck's wounds healed very slowly. Until about the middle of February he could not be made to fly more than ten yards above the roof. The duration of his flight, too, was very short. No matter how frequently I chased him off the roof, I could not keep him in the air more than a quarter of an hour. At first I thought that it was his lungs that were out of order. When, after investigation, they proved sound, I ascribed his disinclination to fly to his heart, which might have been injured by his latest mishap. That assumption also proved erroneous after a second investigation.
So, utterly exasperated by Gay-Neck's behaviour, I wrote a long letter to Ghond describing everything that had happened. It turned out that he had gone on a hunting-trip with some Englishmen. Receiving no help from that quarter, I decided to examine my pigeon most closely. Day after day I put him on our house-top, and watched, but no clue was vouchsafed me as to the nature of his trouble. So I gave up all hope of seeing Gay-Neck fly again.
About the end of February I received a cryptic note from Ghond from the deeps of the jungle. It read: "Your pigeon is frightened. Cure him of his fear. Make him fly." But he did not say how. Nor could I devise anything that would make Gay-Neck wing his way into the higher spaces. It was no use chasing him off the roof, for if I chased him off one corner, he flew across to another and perched there. And what was most disconcerting was that if the shadow of a cloud or a flock of birds flying in the sky fell on him on our roof, he would tremble with terror. Doubtless every shadow that fell filled his mind with the feeling that it was a Baz or a falcon swooping down on him. That gave me an idea of how badly shaken Gay-Neck was. How to cure him of his disease of fear proved most baffling. Had we been in the Himalayas, I would have taken him to the holy man who once healed him of a similar ailment, but here in the city there was no lama. I was forced to wait.
March had ushered in spring, and Gay-Neck, who had gone through an unusual moulting, looked like the very heart of a deep and large aquamarine. He was beautiful beyond description. One day, I know not how, I found him talking to Jahore's widow. She looked very bright with the advent of spring. In the sunlight her black-opal complexion glowed like a tropical night shot with stars. Of course I knew that marriage between her and Gay-Neck, though not the best thing for their offspring, might win him from his fear and her from the morose temper that had grown upon her ever since Jahore died.
In order to encourage their friendship, I took the two together in a cage to my friend Radja, who lived on the edge of the jungle about two hundred miles away. The name of his village was Ghatsila. It stood on the bank of a river across which lay high hills densely forested and full of all kinds of animals. Radja, being the priest of the village, which office his ancestors had held for ten centuries, and his parents were housed in a large building of concrete. The village temple, also of concrete, was adjacent to the house. In the courtyard of the temple, surrounded by high walls, Radja every night performed the duty of reading the Scriptures and explaining them to the peasantry that assembled there. While he would read aloud inside, outside would come from far off the yell of a tiger or the trumpeting of wild elephants across the narrow river. It was a beautiful and sinister place. Nothing dangerous happened in the village of Ghatsila, but you did not have to go very far to encounter any beast of prey that you cared to seek.
The train that brought me there reached Ghatsila at night. Radja and two servants of his house greeted me at the station. One of the servants took my bundle on his shoulder, and the other carried the cage with the two pigeons. Each of us had to carry a hurricane-proof lantern, an extra one having been brought for me. In single file, one servant leading and another in the rear, we walked for an hour. My suspicions were aroused, and I asked, "Why do we go round about?"
Radja said: "In the spring wild animals pass through here going north. We can't take short cuts through the woods."
Nonsense! I exclaimed. "I have done it many times before. When do we reach home?"
In half an hour—
Then, as if the very ground had opened at our feet and belched out a volcano with a terrific noise, arose the cry "Hoa—ho—ho— ho—hoa!"
The pigeons fluttered their wings in panic in their cage. I gripped Radja's shoulder with my disengaged hand, but instead of sharing my feelings he laughed out loud. And—like master like servant—the two servants laughed too.
After their mirth had subsided, Radja explained: "You have done this many times, have you? Then why did the cry of monkeys frightened by lanterns scare you?"
Monkeys? I questioned.
Yes, lots of them, my friend reminded me, "go north this time of the year. We frightened a whole flock in the trees overhead. That's all. In the future don't take every monkey yell for the roar of a tiger."
Fortunately, we reached home shortly, without any other incident to upset my complacency.
The next morning Radja went to his duties at his ancestral temple, while I sought the roof and uncaged my birds. At first they were bewildered, but seeing me near them with my hands full of buttered seeds, they settled down to breakfast without any ado. Pretty nearly all of that day we spent on the roof. I dared not leave them by themselves very long lest the strangeness of their surroundings upset them.
In the course of the week that followed, the two birds made themselves at home in Ghatsila, and moreover became extremely intimate with each other. There was no doubt now that I had acted wisely in isolating them from the rest of the flock. About the eighth day of our stay, Radja and I were surprised to see Gay-Neck fly in pursuit of his mate. She flew on, but at a low altitude. He followed. Seeing him catch up to her, she rose and turned back. He too did the same, and followed after. Again she rose. But this time he balked, and began to circle the air beneath her. However, I felt that he was regaining his confidence. At last Gay- Neck, the paragon of pigeons, was healing himself of his fear and of his horror of the heavens; he was once more at home in the sky.
The next morning the birds flew higher and played with each other. Gay-Neck again refused to go all the way, and began to come down hastily instead of circling in the air below her. That puzzled me, but Radja, who was a keen person, explained. "A cloud, large as a fan, has come over the sun. Its shadow fell so suddenly that Gay- Neck thought it was his enemy. Wait until the cloud passes, and then—"
Radja was right. In a few more seconds the sun came out and its light dripped from Gay-Neck's wings once more. At once he stopped coming downwards and began to make circles in the air. His mate too, who had been coming down to keep him company, waited for him a hundred feet or so above. Now Gay-Neck rose, beating his wings like an eagle freed from his cage. The sunlight made pools of colour about him as he swerved and swung up and up. Soon, instead of following, he led his mate. Thus they ascended the sky—he healed of fear completely, and she ravished by his agility and power.
The next morning both of them made an early start. They flew far and very long. For a while they were lost beyond the mountains, as if they had slid over their peaks and down the other side. They were gone at least an hour.
At last they returned about eleven o'clock, each bearing in his beak a large straw. They were going to build a nest for the laying of eggs. I thought I would take them home, but Radja insisted that we should stay at least a week longer.
Every day during that week we spent some hours in the more dangerous jungle across the river, taking the two pigeons with us in order to release them in the dense forest hardly five miles from Radja's house. Gay-Neck forgot everything save testing his sense of direction and making higher flights. In other words, love for his mate and the change of place and climate healed him of fear, that most fell disease.
Here let it be inscribed in no equivocal language that almost all our troubles come from fear, worry and hate. If any man catches one of the three, the other two are added unto it. No beast of prey can kill his victim without frightening him first. In fact, no animal perishes until its destroyer strikes terror into its heart. To put it succinctly, an animal's fear kills it before its enemy gives it the final blow.
彩虹鴿的傷口愈合得很慢。直到二月中旬左右,他仍不能飛到高于房頂十幾英尺的地方。他持續(xù)飛行的時間也很短。不管我是多么頻繁地把他從房頂上趕走,我都不能讓他在空中停留超過十五分鐘。一開始,我以為是他的肺部發(fā)生了紊亂。檢查后證明他的肺部健康,我就把他不愿飛行歸因于他的心臟,也許是心臟在那次事故中受到了損傷。第二次檢查過后,證明這種假設(shè)也是不成立的。
于是,我完全被彩虹鴿的行為激怒了,就給剛德寫了一封長信,描述了發(fā)生的所有事情。結(jié)果剛德跟一些英國人打獵去了。我一直沒有獲得他的幫助,就決定仔仔細(xì)細(xì)地檢查彩虹鴿。我日復(fù)一日地把他放在我們的房頂上觀察,但我怎么也找不到他的病因。于是,我放棄了看到彩虹鴿再次飛翔的所有希望。
大約到了二月底,我才接到剛德從叢林深處寄來的一封神秘短信,上面寫道:“你的鴿子受到了驚嚇。治好他的恐懼,就會使他飛翔。”但是,他沒有說怎么治。我也想不出讓彩虹鴿展翅一路飛上高空的任何方法。把他趕離房頂是沒用的,因為要是我把他從這個角落趕走,他就會飛到另一個角落站在那里。最令人不安的是,一片云影或一群在天空飛翔的鳥的影子落在房頂他的身上,他就會嚇得發(fā)抖。毫無疑問,每一片落下的陰影都會印入他的腦海,使他感覺那就是巴茲或獵鷹飛撲向他。這讓我明白了,彩虹鴿受到了多么嚴(yán)重的打擊。如何治好他的恐懼癥,這真讓我一籌莫展。要是我們在喜馬拉雅山,我就會把他帶到那位圣人那里,他曾經(jīng)治好了彩虹鴿類似的疾病,但這城市里沒有喇嘛。我只好等待。
三月迎來了春天,換過羽毛的彩虹鴿不同尋常,看上去像一塊深邃碩大的海藍(lán)寶石的心臟,漂亮得難以形容。有一天,我不知道怎么回事,我發(fā)現(xiàn)他在跟嘉豪的遺孀說話。隨著春天的到來,她看上去光彩照人。在陽光下,她的黑蛋白石的膚色像熱帶夜空閃爍的星星。當(dāng)然,我知道,她和彩虹鴿之間的婚姻盡管對后代來說不是最優(yōu)的選擇,但有可能使彩虹鴿戰(zhàn)勝恐懼,也可能使嘉豪太太擺脫喪夫以來的郁悶情緒。
為了促進(jìn)兩只鴿子的情誼,我把他們放在一只籠子里,帶給我的朋友拉迪亞。拉迪亞住在大約兩百英里外的叢林邊緣。他那個村子名叫加特西拉,位于河岸上,河對岸聳立著樹林茂密、充滿各種動物的一座座高山。拉迪亞是這個村子的祭司,他的祖先已經(jīng)做了上千年的祭司,他的父母親都住在大水泥房子里。村廟也是水泥建成的,跟他們家毗鄰。村廟有高高的圍墻,拉迪亞每天夜里會履行職責(zé),給聚集到那里的農(nóng)民誦經(jīng)、講經(jīng)。他在屋里誦經(jīng)時,屋外很遠(yuǎn)的地方會傳來虎嘯或穿過窄河的野象的嘶鳴。這是一個美麗而又險惡的地方。在加特西拉村,沒有發(fā)生過任何危險的事,但你不用走很遠(yuǎn),就會遇到你想找的猛獸。
我們坐的火車夜里到達(dá)加特西拉。拉迪亞和家里的兩個仆人到車站迎接我們。其中一個仆人把我的包袱扛在肩上,另一個仆人提起裝有兩只鴿子的鳥籠。我們每個人不得不提著一盞防風(fēng)燈,他們?yōu)槲叶鄮Я艘槐K。我們成一路縱隊,一個仆人在前面領(lǐng)路,另一個走在后面,走了一個小時。我產(chǎn)生了疑問,就問道:“我們?yōu)槭裁匆@道走?”
拉迪亞說:“春天野生動物會經(jīng)過這里一路向北。我們不能走近路穿過樹林?!?/p>
“胡說!”我大聲嚷道?!拔乙郧霸?jīng)走過好多次了。我們什么時候到家?”
“半小時后——”
正在這時,我們腳下的土地好像裂開似的,發(fā)出了火山爆發(fā)般可怕的響聲,隨后響起了“哇——嗬——嗬——嗬——哇!”的叫聲。
鳥籠里的鴿子驚慌地拍著翅膀。我不由自主地用一只手抓住了拉迪亞的肩膀,但拉迪亞沒有同感,而是哈哈大笑。而且——有其主必有其仆——兩個仆人也笑了起來。
他們的歡笑聲停息之后,拉迪亞解釋說:“你已經(jīng)走過好多次了,是嗎?那為什么猴子受到燈籠驚嚇發(fā)出的叫聲讓你害怕呢?”
“猴子?”我質(zhì)問道。
“是的,好多猴子,”朋友提醒我說,“每年這個時候他們都一路向北去。我們剛才嚇跑了頭頂樹上的整整一群猴子。僅此而已。以后可不要把每只猴子的叫喊當(dāng)成老虎的咆哮嘍?!?/p>
幸運的是,我們很快就到了家,沒有再發(fā)生打擾我自滿情緒的意外事件。
第二天早晨,拉迪亞到祠堂履行職責(zé)去了,我走上房頂,打開鳥籠,放飛鴿子。最初,鴿子們困惑不解,但看到我站在他們旁邊,雙手捧滿了酥油谷粒,他們就安定下來,立刻吃起了早飯。我們那天幾乎全天都在房頂上度過。我不敢把他們單獨留在房頂上很久,唯恐陌生的環(huán)境讓他們不安。
在隨后的一個星期里,這兩只鴿子在加特西拉就像在家里一樣,而且相互變得格外親熱。毫無疑問,我現(xiàn)在把他們和鴿群隔離開來是明智之舉。大約在我們逗留的第八天,我和拉迪亞都吃驚地看到彩虹鴿在求偶。母鴿持續(xù)飛行,但飛得很低。彩虹鴿尾隨其后??吹讲屎瑛澴汾s上來,母鴿攀升、折回。彩虹鴿也如此這般在后面追隨。母鴿再次攀升。但是,這次彩虹鴿突然停住,開始在母鴿下面的空中盤旋。不過,我感覺到他正在重拾信心。最后,鴿子的典范——彩虹鴿——治愈著自己的恐懼和對天空的恐懼,又一次翱翔在天空。
第二天早晨,這兩只鴿子飛得越來越高,相互嬉戲。彩虹鴿又一次拒絕繼續(xù)高飛,開始飛速下降,而不是在配偶下面的空中盤旋。這讓我百思不解,但拉迪亞觀察敏銳,解釋說:“一朵像扇子一樣大小的云彩遮住了太陽。陰影突然落下來,彩虹鴿以為那是他的敵人。等到云彩過去,然后就——”
拉迪亞說得沒錯。又過了一小會兒,太陽出來了,光線又一次從彩虹鴿的翅膀上灑落下來。他馬上停止向下飛行,開始在空中盤旋起來。他的配偶原來一直向下飛,陪著他,現(xiàn)在也在一百英尺左右的上方等著他。此刻,彩虹鴿像出籠的鷹一樣撲打著翅膀向上飛去。他突然轉(zhuǎn)向不斷向上飛時,陽光在他周圍變成了一道道彩圈。很快,彩虹鴿不再尾隨,而是帶領(lǐng)著配偶飛行。他們就這樣飛上了天空——彩虹鴿完全治好了他的恐懼,母鴿被他的敏捷和力量迷住了。
第二天早晨,他們倆很早就起飛了,飛得很遠(yuǎn),時間很長。有一陣子,他們消失在群山那邊,好像他們已經(jīng)掠過了峰頂,滑到了山的另一邊。他們飛走了至少一個小時。十一點左右,他們終于回來了,各自嘴里都銜著一根大稻草。他們準(zhǔn)備筑巢孵卵。我想我應(yīng)該把他們帶回家,但拉迪亞堅持說我們至少應(yīng)該再待一個星期。
那個星期,我們每天都穿過河流,在更加危險的叢林里度過幾個小時,隨身帶著兩只鴿子,以便在距離拉迪亞家?guī)缀醪坏轿逵⒗锏拿芰址棚w。除了檢驗方向感和不斷高飛,彩虹鴿忘記了所有的一切。換句話說,他對配偶的愛情、地點和氣候的變化治好了他的恐懼——那是最可怕的疾病。
在這里,要用毫不含糊的語言銘記這一點,就是幾乎我們所有的煩惱都來自恐懼、擔(dān)心和憎恨。任何人只要染上這三個當(dāng)中的任何一個,其他兩個就會如影隨形。任何猛獸都會先驚嚇,再殺死獵物。事實上,只要捕食者讓獵物心里產(chǎn)生恐懼,獵物就會死去。簡而言之,還沒等敵人給予最后一擊,恐懼就已將其置于死地了。
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